Anthem is filled with barmy game design decisions, bugs, and oddities, and I've found myself repeatedly losing my shit at the game. While I'll cover my thoughts on Anthem in a seperate editorial, let's kick things off with some of my favorite, "Why the fuck" moments that I've written down. 

  • Why the fuck, every time I login, do I have to run back to my Javelin?
  • Why the fuck do I have to enter a loading screen to change my Javelin?
  • Why the fuck can't I just see my Javelin and its setup without the Forge?
  • Why the fuck, every time I enter my Javelin, do I have to watch the same animation over and over (it was fun the first time, not the 100th)?
  • Why the fuck, when I want to be a little bit sneaky on a mission, is my Javelin incapable of crouching?
  • Why the fuck, every time I load into Fort Tarsis, does every NPC I walk past say the same exact line? 
  • Why the fuck is there no ability for me to see my Javelin's stats, despite this being a loot based shooter? 
  • Why the fuck can't I track multiple Challenges on my HUD, like any other game?
  • Why the fuck do you insist on booting me from the game, back to the main menu, for no apparent reason?
  • Why the fuck do you place NPC's in Fort Tarsis so far apart that to talk to them all, combined with the slow movement in the hub, takes a fucking age?
  • Why the fuck do I have to hold down a button to select an option or interact with anything? 
  • Why the fuck does every item I obtain out in the game world need to be identified back at Fort Tarsis? 
  • Why the fuck is there no "select all" button when salvaging inventory and items?
  • Why the fuck is there an NPC who talks about his "shop" and the power of a sexy Javelin, when in reality, it's just to push you to the microtransaction store.
  • Why the fuck, in a loot based shooter, are there only a handful of unique armors and weapons?
  • Why the fuck are the vast majority of Masterwork Components absolutely shite compared to Javelin specific Epic variants?
  • Why the fuck is there no mini-map?
  • Why the fuck is there no text chat?
  • Why the fuck can't I join my friend who's already in a mission, when they have a free spot? 
  • Why the fuck do bosses have fixed loot tables that only have a chance to drop Masterwork items (not Legendary?)
  • Why the fuck are there only a handful of enemies in the entire game? What have you been designing for 6 years?
  • Why the fuck is there only one biome in the entire game: I'm bloody sick of greenery. Give me desert, snow or more lava.
  • Why the fuck does the game run like a dogs dinner, even though my rig is powerful and every other modern title runs like lightning on it?
  • Why the fuck are loading times - even on an SSD - long enough for me to make a cup of tea and have a shit?
  • Why the fuck doesn't the Javelin loading bay have all 4 Javelin's on display (like the title menu), so that I can actually change which Javelin I play without another bloody loading screen?
  • Why the fuck has my main character encountered a bug where they've had a sex change, from female to male, half way through the story?
  • Why the fuck can't I just exit the game by pressing Escape > Exit Anthem. Why do I have to press Escape > Settings > Quit Game > Exit Anthem? 
  • Why the fuck would you use a diagonal based UI when it squanders and renders large amounts of screen space redundant?
  • Why the fuck is there no field of view slider?
  • Why the fuck, in the in-game store, is there no preview button for animations or cosmetics? Why are you forcing me to go to the Forge (and another loading screen) just to see these?
  • Why the fuck is there no "join squad" button?
  • Why the fuck when I complete a mission is there no "Return to Mission Screen" option?
  • Why the fuck do you repeatedly load me into Fort Tarsis when I've reached "end-game"? It's a pointless area that adds further loading times. 
  • Why the fuck do you even have Consumables? They're an after-thought that aren't even discussed anywhere in the game. 
  • Why the fuck can enemies still fire through scenary, when they have no line of sight? 
  • Why the fuck, in a loot based shooter, is loot just such a fucking mess? 
  • Why the fuck, on GM2 and higher difficulties, are enemies nothing more than a bullet sponge? 
  • Why the fuck aren't Stronghold's instances out in the game world that you can actually walk into?
  • Why the fuck is Quickplay so God damn bugged? I'd love to be able to complete 25 missions without running into 4 out of 5 that are stuck or broken. 
  • Why the fuck are there only three Strongholds, but one of which is just a re-play of the final boss?
  • Why the fuck can't I add Waypoint markers to the map?
  • Why the fuck is there no ping system?
  • Why the fuck doesn't the game tell new players anything about the combo system?
  • Why the fuck is every mission almost identical? In six years, is that the best variety you could think of?
  • Why the fuck isn't there any other weather than rain? Snow would be nice. Heck, even a sand storm.
  • Why the fuck aren't events marked on the world map so I don't have to randomly fly round for 40 minutes like an idiot?
  • Why the fuck is plot, and lore, so convoluted? (neither are the same thing, and neither should replace the other - as it seemingly does here). 
  • Why the fuck am I unable to tell how much health, armor or shielding my Javelin even has? (numbers are nice). 
  • Why the fuck does my HUD still tell me my Ultimate is ready, even though it isn't?
  • Why the fuck is my health pool constantly bugged?
  • Why the fuck does the sound keep cutting out in the game?
  • Why the fuck is there no way for me to ask for support from another player in my instance, when playing Freeplay?
  • Why the fuck is the game world just devoid of anything of interest? Besides looking nice, with some interesting architecture, there's absolutely nothing to do in it. 
  • Why the fuck can't I zoom my map out far enough to see it all?
  • Why the fuck does the end-of-mission screen even exist, when it tells you absolutely nothing of value?
  • Why the fuck does the game in general just tell you so little about Components, weapons, inscriptions, consumables and materials?
  • Why the fuck, from the Forge, can't I then choose where to load into?

Other than the above, I'm thoroughly enjoying the game.

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Last Updated: Mar 06, 2019

About The Author

Lewis is currently playing The Division 2, Dota Underlords and Destiny 2, having covered a variety of genres for many years.