In what seems to be normal behavior for large gaming companies these
days, Mythic Entertainment quietly laid off dozens of employees earlier
this week. Affecting mainly play testers, quality assurance, and
customer service representatives, these cuts seem to be just part of a
much larger plan at EA.
The company of course gave no offical reasons for dismisals, but
fortunately for you the staff at Ten Ton Turnip managed to located a
few of the displaced workers and asked them their thoughts on the
matter. We were shocked when the truth behind these devestating
cutbacks came into light.
"Why'd they let us go?" one bold employee began, "Oh that is easy,
we're gamers. That's right, when they found out that we
actually PLAY video games in our free time, they let us go. Nobody
wants to hire gamers anymore." The terminated employees then
began to list off games such as World of Warcraft, Fallout 3 and a
dozen other top sellers you'd see next to any gamer's PC. With a
grimace of disdain the employee continued, "Bill here just got canned
for Little Big Planet. Hell that's barely even a game. And
poor Mary just plays Mario Galaxy with her kids for crying out loud.
Gamers are SUPPOSED to play games! This blacklisting is ridiculous!"
In an attempt to verify facts or get an official word on the situation,
we decided to track down one of the higher-ups, Mr. Jark Macobs.
"Of course it's regrettable," he stated with no remorse, "because we
consider this a family and you don't leave the family you understand?!
The family leaves YOU. Capish? We can't have our employees
actually playing games in their off time, because it leads to
entertainment and fun. We actually caught someone playing
Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning in the office. He swore he
was playtesting it, but I know better."
With such a strong anti-gaming stance, how do they decide who to
hire? "We look for accounting and finance backgrounds," he
states. "I think we have a few Environmental Engineers and the guy over
in QA actually used to manage a Hooters." We here at Ten Ton
Turnip can only hope for the best for those displaced employees and we
wish them well in their new endevours.