I can categorically state that Hero League in Heroes of the Storm and my pursuit of Rank 1 has been a miserable experience. Solo queueing is akin to rubbing salt into a wound but if your friends aren’t online, you’ve just got to plough through it. Here are my 25 favourite memories from players I've encountered during my daily play.
1. I pick Brightwing first, only for my team mates to pick Malfurion second and LiLi third. When I ask why, both reply that they love healing. We lost due to no damage.
2. Diablo achieving 0-15 within the first 8 minutes. He then proceeds to call us all "fucking noobs".
3. Jaina missing Cone of Cold, Blizzard and Frostbolt at point blank range against a Nazeebo who trapped himself in his own Zombie Wall
4. Requiring only a Warrior, the last party member chooses Uther and insists he can “tank”. He spends the entire match dead.
5. Nazeebo insists he is amazing. At 0-5 he informs us he has never played the Hero before. He proceeds to die, multiple times, from zombie walling himself.
6. Sgt. Hammer - every single Sgt. Hammer - is rubbish. Pushing too far, dying instantly and failing to seige.
7. Followed closely by Raynor and Tychus, every single one is also poor.
8. Abathur as first pick proceeds to remain in the base, as opposed to soaking XP in lane, and refused to symbiote Illidan. He claims it would be a waste.
9. Zeratul repeatedly uses Void Prison on us, rather than the enemy. He wiped us three times.
10. Nova taking first pick only to die 14 times, achieving 2 kills. He/She claimed they were Rank 1.
11. Stitches choosing Stitches after we already have Muradin and Tyrael. He then misses every Hook, complaining the game is bugged.
12. Murky insisting he’s amazing in a team fight. Despite us winning, he ended the game having achieved 1 Hero kill and destroyed zero towers.
13. ETC taking Stage Dive, repeatedly jumping the entire length of the map, dying, before blaming us for not supporting him.
14. Gazlowe taking up a second Specialist slot (when Sylvanus was already picked first) insisting he can solo boss. He proceeds to die at every solo boss attempt.
15. Azmodan claiming he can tank and solo mid lane against three enemy Heroes. He proceeds to die, despite us assisting, and then blames us when he continues to attempt to solo against over three Heroes.
16. Sonya using Leap into a group of 5 enemy Heroes when she is by herself, proceeding to blame us for not backing her up.
17. Tassadar only shielding himself, claiming he needs to survive over others.
18. Kerrigan missing every single Primal Grasp and repeatedly using Ravage to kill herself.
19. Uther insisting he’s an offensive healer, only healing himself and soloing constantly.
20. Arthas insisting he isn’t a tank and that he should only be “DPSING YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!” before going solo lane.
21. Chen repeatedly using Fortifying Brew while attempting to chase but failing to engage or use Wandering Keg to do anything other than roll around the map.
22. Every Sgt. Hammer I've ever encountered being terrible. This is worth mentioning twice.
23. Falstad repeatedly using Barrel Roll into a group of enemy Heroes, instantly dying, then insisting that Rehgar “heal me you retarded Orc!”.
24. Sylvanus taking Possession because she insists it helps with clearing a lane quicker.
25. Zagara over extending the entire match to the point where he has not only died more than ten times, but refuses to join in on team fights (“It’s not my job!”).
Have a favourite Hero League moment? Let me know.
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