Andrew Wilson has confirmed today that he’s stepping down from his role as Chief Operating Officer at EA, and is set to be replaced by the beleaguered British Prime Minister, Theresa May.

The outgoing CEO has found himself struggling to right EA’s share price, having had a difficult year. With backlash from its continued lootbox controversies, to lukewarm reviews of Battlefield 5, he felt it was not only time for a change, but to place someone at the helm of the company who’s as useless as he is.

Theresa May is hoping her experience with hostile environments will make EA development teams more productive.

A company insider, who wished to remain anonymous, informed Ten Ton Hammer that, “Theresa May has been earmarked for a while. She’s a perfect candidate: cruel, brilliant at lying, and amazing at fudging the figures. She’ll fit right in with our monetization model.”

Although there's no word yet as to when Theresa May will take the helm, a date is due to be set within the next few weeks. 

"After Brexit, Theresa just can't be fucking bothered to be in Government any more," added the insider. "She's convinced it'll be more rewarding to nickle and dime computer geeks all over the world than the British public."

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Last Updated: Nov 19, 2018

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Lewis is currently playing The Division 2, and Risk of Rain 2, having covered a variety of genres for many years.