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Cody âMicajahâ Bye here, traipsing about in John âBoomjackâ Hoskinâs typical role and trying my best to entertain you with a measure of his wit and charm. If only I had as much humor as John possesses in his little finger.
In the spirit of April Foolâs Day â which you readers narrowly avoided by a strange chronological twist of fate â we at Ten Ton Hammer have unearthed the strange and uncanny. While thinking of a topic to write about in this newsletter, I came across a little blog/game site run by Verse Studios, where they display a game of such horrendous monstrosity that it has to be seen to be believed.
Verse Studios has created the first â and I shudder at the thought â Gold Farming Roleplaying Game (GF-RPG).
Hereâs the description from the site:
Set in the lush land of Goldman is the village of Sacks, and it is here where you start your heroic journey...
At this point, I nearly lost control of my bowels I was laughing so hard. Yet there was even more:
Some of the side commentsâ¦ are absolutely hilarious. *blinks out tears* Take a look for yourself:
"Simplistic amateur adventure with horrible voice work."
"A real turd of a game."
"Clearly this is a joke. A really bad joke."
And, thereâs actually a downloadable client available at the site! While I worry that the client is actually some sort of gold farming invasive software, Iâve risked my new computerâs life and limb to get the scoop on this story.
Exclusive TenTonHammer.com Content!
The Chronicles of Spellborn: Interview with Marco van Haren
"For a few months, very little was heard about the dark, fantasy-inspired MMO, The Chronicles of Spellborn - at least very little in the U.S. However, the folks at Spellborn NV are getting close to finalizing their deal with a U.S. publisher and recently held a European press event that featured new screenshots and videos. Since mid-March, news about TCoS has begun spinning about the web, and the Ten Ton Hammer team has been lucky enough to get a chance to chat with Marco van Haren, the Marketing and PR Manager for The Chronicles of Spellborn."
Blog - World of Warcraft: Multiple Connections
"Today's entry in theÂ "Heal Plz"blogÂ looks at the popularity of WoW and how connected the community is. It's an interesting look at Â the out of control growth WoW has experienced and asks one question that maybe you could answer!"
Blog - The D&D Factor
"Recently, Micajah and Jeff "Ethec" Woleslagle were discussing LotRO when Jeff mentioned the "D&D Factor". Micajah explores what Jeff meant and how the D&D factor truly influences our current MMOs."
Lord of the Rings Online: Complete List of Traits
"With Turbine's unique system of traits, it's easy to get lost in all the information. This new guide gives players a quick and easy way to see the types of traits and the titles associated with them."
Everquest 2: Lesser Faydark Zone Guide
"Lesser Faydark is a gorgeous, open zone included in the Echoes of Faydwer expansion. This level 50-60 zone is full of wonders and great content for both the solo player and the groups, and you will not want to miss it. Bring this guide, along with your desire to adventure and you are sure to have tons of fun!"
Warhammer Online: Location Overview - Troll Country
"Recently revealed in the WAR Monthly Newsletter, the Ten Ton Hammer WAR community site now boasts a page featuring Troll Country! Check it out!"
Warhammer Online: Gallery Update
"We have an update to our Gallery Page today. Included are several new screenshots ranging from Warrior Priest to Chaos Zealot. Don't worry though, you don't need to chase these pictures down...because they're right here!"
A Preview/Review of WHoA (Warcraft: Heroes of Azeroth)
"Xerin has gone out into the field to obtain a copy of Blizzard's latest game, WHoA. He's able to report a quick preview and review (both at the same time!) of the latest game from secret copies obtained at Wal-Mart...*ahem*....I mean Blizzard's HQ. If you're looking for the latest on this April Fool- I mean game - then look no further!"
Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Video: Player Housing
"Sony Online Entertainment and Sigil Games Online released new footage from Vanguard: Saga of Heroes that showcases player housing. The video, narrated by designer Kurt Wagner, takes viewers through the purchase of land and construction of a house on both Qalia and Kojan. Vanguard allows players to build houses big and small and provides very open floor plans, leaving the dÃ©cor up to each individual player."
Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Guide to Harvesting Wealth
Changul relies on the old economic basics of supply and demand to make her wealth in Vanguard. Now she relays her tips on harvesting to help you raise some cash!
Dungeons and Dragons Online: Enhancement Guide - The Singing Soldier
"Like to add a little battle to your bard? A little toughness to your troubadour? Darkgolem gives shows you the way with his new guide to bard enhancements, The Singing Soldier!"
World of Warcraft - Alchemy Guide Updates
"Our Alchemy guide has received a face lift. Not only has it got a brand new easier to navigate style, but it's also got a ton of new information. Discoveries, specializations, and more are now included within our Alchemy Guide. Keep checking back for a new shiny list of recipes located in Outland!."
Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Cleric Spells and Abilities List
"The cleric is a well known staple of the fantasy MMO genre. How does the Vanguard: Saga of Heroes Cleric stack up? Take a look at what he can do! Zinn has provided us with a cleric spells and abilities list for levels 1-50.."
- The Chronicles of Spellborn: Interview with Marco van Haren
- Archlord: Review
- Lord of the Rings Online: Hands-on Preview
- Gods and Heroes: Developer Diary - Introducing The Nomad
- Fury: Interview With C.E.O., Tony Hilliam
- Lord of the Rings Online: Beta Recap
- Sword of the New World: Interview with Peter Cesario
- Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Armour Project Portal Opens
- Tabula Rasa: GDC Logos Coin Unveiled
- Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Interview With Jeff Butler
- Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Guide to Harvesting Wealth
Real World News - You Canât Make This Up
Teens Arrested After Putting Laxatives in Donuts
Thirteen other teens taken to obesity clinic for treatment.
Girl Kicked off Plane for Coughing
Eight crying babies still make trip.
Japanese Set Record for Longest Concert
Not even an earthquake could stop 'em.
Fake Volcano Ignites, People Flee
"Dante's Peak ain't got nothing on me!"
Vin Diesel Fact: Superman's greatest weakness isn't kryptonite, it's Vin Diesel.
Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com
- Cody "Micajah" Bye
You can read previously enjoyed editions of Loading... in the blog archive.