to the 1,258th
of Loading...

Loading... is the premier daily
MMOG news, coverage, and
commentary newsletter, only from Ten Ton Hammer.

, those collegiate events where certain cliches uttered
in movies or TV shows meant we had to take a swig or down a shot? Some
events were so predictable they could put you on the floor (or, at the
very least, dancing on the table with a lampshade on your head) in no
time flat. Inspired by an href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/26/state-of-the-union-drinki_n_436932.html">article
in today's Huffington Post Comedy section, we propose a new MMOG
drinking game all our own in today's Loading... Bottoms Up!


The Pulse

You vote with what you
view at Ten Ton Hammer, and the
result is the Ten Ton Pulse ( href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/thepulse/" target="_blank">What
is The Pulse?).

are today's top 5 Pulse results:

  1. World
    of Warcraft
  2. EVE
    (UP 3)
  3. Dungeons
    Dragons Online
  4. Lord
    of the
    Rings Online
  5. EverQuest
    (Down 3)

movers today

  1. Sword of the New World (UP 14 to #18)
  2. Star Wars: The Old Republic (UP 3 to # 19)
  3. Dragon Age: Origins (UP 2 to #13)
Recent Releases

  • 2/1
    - Global

    (release date)
  • 2/2 size="-1">
    - Star
    Trek Online

    (release date)
  • 2/16
    - href="http://everquest2.station.sony.com/expansions/sentinelsfate/index.vm">EverQuest
    2: Sentinel's Fate (expansion)
  • March

    - APB
  • style="font-weight: bold;">Spring 2011
    - Star Wars:
    The Old

Loading... Daily

An email alert from The Huffington Post hit my inbox this morning and,
even pre-caffeine and groggy from having stared blankly at the ceiling
for most of the night when I was supposed to be (and would have liked
to have been) sleeping, gave me reason to smile. The subject header was
simple enough: href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/26/state-of-the-union-drinki_n_436932.html">State
of the Union Drinking Game.

I’m not much of a drinker (something to which any Ten Ton Hammer staff
member who’s attended an event with me will attest), but I do have fond
memories of my 19 year old self playing The Bob Newhart game (“Bob”
used in a sentence meant you took a drink, “Hi, Bob!" meant you
chugged whatever was left) and various and sundry buzz-word-related
alcohol imbibing challenges.

I realize I just dated myself with the whole Bob Newhart thing. But,
anyhow, onward.

Tonight, President Obama gives his first State of the Union Address to
an American public anxiously awaiting promised change. href="http://huffingtonpost.com/">The Huffington Post
decided to put a comedic spin on the event. They offered drinking game
suggestions such as downing two shots if Joe Wilson yells something,
three if Joe Biden nods off, laughs inappropriately, or starts talking
before the speech is over, and one if Nancy Pelosi href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/25/nancy-pelosi-puts-biden-t_n_169982.html">claps
like a seal (fortunately, you’re encouraged to “STOP
DRINKING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD” if Pelosi becomes a
seal.) It’s good, clean, intoxicating American fun.

Huffington Post’s drinking game got me thinking about predictable
events and the dev behavior (like seal-ish clapping, but not) that
affects gamers and the games we play. I figured I’d present my
own MMOG Drinking Game, with a little help from John "Boomjack" Hoskins
(former Loading... columnist, now not-so-evil brain-in-a-jar mastermind
behind Ten Ton Hammer), Ten Ton Hammer Executive Editor Ben de la
Durantaye, and Contributing Writer, Stacy "Martuk" Jones.

Please keep in mind that I accept
no responsibility for those who get liquored up and hit on the nearest
mangina or botch the raid (but if you do, get footage for a YouTube
video. One viral video could earn you your 15 minutes of Leroy
Jenkins-esque fame.) And, of course, this is all for comedic affect, so
please don't really drink yourself to oblivion, mkay?

that the broken mechanic you reported is "working as intended." Do one shot A developer
proclaims his game "easy to learn but difficult to master." Do three shots (you're going to
need them) Richard Garriott
pulls some outrageous publicity stunt. Do two shots while wearing a space
suit or some reasonable facsimile. Brad McQuaid
announces he has a "vision" and he's bringing it to a new next gen
video game. Finish the bottle. And, should you
become one of his employees, stay away from parking lots.
CCP's href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/78979/page/2">Nathan
Richardsson wears gold Spandex, platform heels and angel
wings. Buy him a shot! A press release from a developer
states that buying the game allows you access to open beta. Save the $50 and buy two cases of
beer; you'll get more entertainment that way.  [Boomjack] Blizzard announces their newest
game. Take one shot for every year until
the game will be launched. That's 15 shots for a MMOG, but only eight
for a RTS. [Boomjack] During
Blizzard's announcement, Mike Morhaime uses the word
"exciting."  Take one shot per instance. Bank on
at least six shots. [Boomjack] EA's CEO John Riccitiello
firmly plants his head in his ass with a statement like, "I think of
pirates as a marketplace."  Take one shot. (This rule is going
to put you under the table.) [Boomjack] A new MMOG boasts the "biggest
online world yet." Drink a pot of espresso. You'll
need it to stay awake as you aimlessly wander that empty world. [Ben] A new Asian free-to-play game is
announced. Take a shot of water. Drinking
anything else in such vast quantities would be lethal. [Ben] A developer offers a
preorder Collector's Edition complete with special trinkets
(ie.- Star Trek Communicator badge, custom made leather map ala Age of
Conan, etc.) Down a shot for each useless
trinket on your MMO shrine while using one
of your growing stack of "next big thing" MMO DVDs as a
coaster. [Martuk]

Do you have some of your own MMOG Drinking Game ideas? Share them in
the Loading...

Shayalyn's Epic Thread of
the Day

From our href="http://forums.tentonhammer.com/forumdisplay.php?f=6">Articles,
News & Events Discussion

Brings Massive Invasion Warfare to Star Wars: Galaxies

SOE is bringing battle on a massive scale to href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/taxonomy/term/42">Star
Wars: Galaxies with the game's latest update, Galactic Civil
War: Forces Under Siege. The update, which went live
yesterday, features new massive invasion scenarios in thee major
cities. Players can join the faction of their choice and engage in new
gameplay such as sieging an enemy city with an AT-AT or defending a
city's walls by manning a defensive structure such as a turret. New
rewards and faction-specific NPCs have been added for quests and
rewards. As an added bonus, SOE is reactivating old accounts and
players can return to the game and play for free between February 1st,
and March 1st, 2010.

As you can imagine, this news was received with enthusiasm by the
members of our community who have fond memories of the NGE. No, really!
I'm serious. I'm...okay, I'm lying. But perhaps SWG can win you back,
if even for a short time. And perhaps you (like me) don't blame SOE
entirely for its downfall. Want to talk about it? href="http://forums.tentonhammer.com/showthread.php?t=49217">Join


Awesome Quotes from the
Epic Thread

"No offense to SOE but with it being old content
they're  putting back in should this even be called an update?
I mean, this stuff was in in 2003 for EU and US and 2004 for
the Japanese.  This content is seven years old."

- stefman123


Have you spotted an Epic Thread on our forums? href="http://forums.tentonhammer.com/showthread.php?t=32559">Tell

New and Exclusive Content
Today at Ten Ton Hammer

8 new Ten Ton Hammer
features today! 108 in January! 108
in 2010!


Conquest Agenda - A Global Agenda Q&A with Todd Harris


or AvA play in Global Agenda will have Agencies vying for power around
the world. But how exactly does the system work? Who can contribute?
When are players safe from attack? Find out the answers to all these
questions and more as we speak with Todd Harris, Executive Producer of
Global Agenda. Todd's got all the answers and tells all in this
exclusive Global Agenda interview.


New Star Trek Online Intro Movie


Trek Online is just under a week from launch and Cryptic Studios has
added a new intro movie to the game with one of their final open beta
updates. The new movie is narrated by Star Trek icon Leonard Nimoy, who
reprises his role as Spock to explain some of the back-story of the
game and introduce players to the current story that they will first be
involved in. Nimoy also explains the alternate timeline that Spock was
pulled into after the destruction of Romulus and the current dilemma
facing the Federation in the "prime" reality, where the game takes


Top 10 Improvements the Next Great MMO Needs to Have


has their ideas of what the next big MMOG needs to include in order to
be a truly great game. In the last couple of years, many companies have
tried to create the new standard, but almost all have failed. What must
game developers do to lift their games out of the cesspool of
mediocrity and into the spa of greatness?


Star Trek Online Beta Journal #6, Enemy At The Gates


Trek Online’s Open Beta heads toward both the finish line and starting
line as it caps the last few days of beta prior to launch. Join in on
our pre-launch jitters as we prep for our first official journey into
the final frontier.

Star Trek Online End of Beta Event Breakdown


Trek Online celebrated it’s final day of beta with a special event full
of adventure, intrigue, and more than a bit of hair pulling. Ten Ton
Hammer’s Eric “Dalmarus” Campbell was witness to it all. Join him as he
relives the tales from this event.

Champions Online - Cool Costume Unlocks


the character creator gives you a ton of choices, there are many
costume pieces you can unlock in Champions Online. Your pals
at Ten Ton
Hammer are here to show you a small sampling.

Runes of Magic - The Druid: Dual Class Guide


Druid is one of the few Hybrids in the Runes of Magic. How do you pick
a second class for the Druid when you basiclly already have a second
class already built in? Join our resident Runes player ZeroMerc as he
takes a look at possibly one of the more difficult
dual classes.

AdventureQuest Worlds: Battle the 3rd Lord of Chaos, Kitsune!


Worlds has been building up to an epic showdown over the last few
weeks. Each week Artix Entertainment brought us a new blog detailing
the challenges that faced players of AdventureQuest Worlds on Yokai
Island and this week they return with new details on the long awaited
epic showdown with the Chaos Lord Kitsune.

Hottest Articles and Guides

  1. Conquest
    Agenda - A Global Agenda Q&A with Todd

  2. Getting
    for Earthrise
    - A Q&A with
    Atanas Atanasov
  3. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/sto/space_combat_guide">Star
    Trek Online Space Combat Guide
  4. Another
    Forward - A Preview of DDO
    Update 3
  5. The
    Rise of
    Free-to-Play - Industry Insiders on the Future of MMOGs
  6. Gamer
    - An Interview with the Founder of a Video Game
    Addicition Clinic
  7. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/wow/uimods/reviews/WIM">WoW href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/wow/uimods/reviews/WIM">:
    UI Mod
    Review - WoW Instant Messenger
  8. Top
    10 Improvements the Next Great MMO Needs to Have

  9. Avoiding
    Progress Trap - An MMOG Retrospective
  10. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/sto/space_ui_guide">Star
    Trek Online
    href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/sto/space_ui_guide"> Space
    UI Guide

for visiting the Ten Ton Hammer

- Karen "Shayalyn" Hertzberg and the
Ten Ton Hammer team

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016

About The Author

Karen 1
Karen is H.D.i.C. (Head Druid in Charge) at EQHammer. She likes chocolate chip pancakes, warm hugs, gaming so late that it's early, and rooting things and covering them with bees. Don't read her Ten Ton Hammer column every Tuesday. Or the EQHammer one every Thursday, either.