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Daily Column

Loading... it's cruise-control for cool.

First, the Ten Ton Pulse, your finger on the beating heart of the MMOG industry.

If the Top 10 isn't enough, we now show the Top 20 and Top 50 lists as well, available to everyone on our homepage. (What is Pulse?)

1. Age of Conan - 200 BPM
2. World of Warcraft - 77 BPM
3. Lord of the Rings Online - 29 BPM
4. Lineage 2 - 23 BPM
5. EVE Online - 23 BPM
6. Warhammer Online - 20 BPM
7. EverQuest 2 - 19 BPM
8. Guild Wars - 14 BPM
9. Tabula Rasa - 10 BPM
10. Vanguard - 10 BPM

Some days our new MMOG content is good and some days are like today where I have a tough time deciding what makes the "Big Board" of scrolling feature promotions on our homepage. If I don't put the Age of Conan: Class Interview #8 - The Priest of Mitra article up I may get beheaded, literally and virtually. The AoC community is rabid and I mean that in the most positive way. The drooling, foaming at the mouth fans just can't get enough of AoC and it shows in our Pulse where the game has only left the #1 spot once.

We also have interviews with Brett Close (38 Studios), Pierre Deslandes (Chronicles of Spellborn), Slava Zatuchny (SAGA) and Marylou Molina (PowerUp) posted today.

SAGA is an interesting title in that it fits exactly with what I enjoy most, MMO and RTS. They put the two together like peanut butter and chocolate, Penn and Teller or Britney and attention whoring. It is also a title that as far as I can tell was promoted as often as the drunken hobo in the mailroom. Where did this game come from? Why have I just heard about it? Where can I buy it to try it out? Until I read the interview that Garrett wrote I didn't even know that this game existed.

I quickly scooted over to www.playsaga.com and found out that they only accept Paypal or U.S. credit cards. I've never been anywhere that didn't accept a Canadian credit card. I have been plenty of places that won't accept my U.S. credit card. Apparently this is NAFTA payback time and the gang at whoevertheheckmadethisgame (they don't even have it on the homepage) is the vanguard.

I disappointingly used PayPal, plunked down my $19.95 and navigated the menu system built by the guy who also invented the Three-Way-Stop for the highway construction industry. Eventually I navigated the maze, avoided the Minotaur and got to the "Success!" screen where I was told I had three booster packs to redeem. Let the redeeming begin! I could use some redemption and SAGA was going to give it to me. I clickity, clacked through the first of the promised booster packs, eager to shred the packaging on my second pack I clicked and..... "Only One Booster Per Day". I'm aggravated enough, don't tell me I have three of these virtual hockey card packs and then let me open one.

Fair enough, let me download this damn game to see what it plays like. Wait... there is no download link on the webpage. They don't even host their own frickin' game for download. I am beginning to understand why the developer's name is also absent from the official site. Ah, but there you go, if you scroll way down past the fold you will see a news story that has download links, none of which are on the official site. If I have to register at some third party game site to get this game that I have already paid for I'm going to write an extremely long letter to myself reiterating everything that the voices in my head are telling me right now.

I choose FileFront from the list of sites sine it seems the most legitimate site that doesn't require me to register. Fileshack was my first choice, but I haven't been there in so long that my login isn't saved in my super-secure browser and I can't be bothered at this point to register again or to try and figure out which combination of leet-speak I used to spell b00B13s. Filefront turns out to be a good choice as it literally throws the file at me as fast as I can catch it.

While I download the installer I receive the following email. This is the email in its entirety.

Welcome to SAGA! If you haven't already downloaded the SAGA installer, try one of these download mirror sites. Once downloaded and installed, you'll be granted an online kingdom and a small army to begin your journey as a commander and ruler of a growing nation.

It arrives via an address that belongs to a generic web hosting company. My comfort level, if it could drop further does so.

Here I sit, aggravated and $19.95 lighter in the wallet, and developers wonder why people play World of Warcraft?

Tell me your gaming aggravations in The Loading... forums.

Do you feel the need to contact me personally with naughty pictures or derogatory comments? Here's my E-mail.

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9 new MMOG hand-crafted articles today! 43 in March! 556 in 2008!

New MMOG Articles At Ten Ton Hammer Today

• 38 Studios: Interview With Brett Close on the Unreal Engine 3
• Age of Conan: Class Interview #8 - The Priest of Mitra
• Chronicles of Spellborn: Video Preview and Q&A With Pierre Deslandes [Premium Version] [Regular Version]
• Lord of the Rings Online: Tier 2 Weapon Product Statistics List
• Powerup: Interview With IBM Senior Program Manager
• SAGA: Post-Launch Interview With Slava Zatuchny
• Tabula Rasa: Guide To Spies
• Tabula Rasa: Nyxroq Post - Part One
• World of Warcraft: Glossary Update

Hot Content - Or, what I took a fancy to

1. Age of Conan: Class Interview #8 - The Priest of Mitra
2. 38 Studios: Interview With Brett Close on the Unreal Engine 3
3. Chronicles of Spellborn: Video Preview and Q&A With Pierre Deslandes [Premium Version] [Regular Version]
4. SAGA: Post-Launch Interview With Slava Zatuchny
5. Powerup: Interview With IBM Senior Program Manager
6. Anarchy Online: Developer Journal #5 - The Best Memories
7. World of Warcraft: New Ten Ton Community Site
8. EVE Online: Interview With Valerie Massey - A Story of Breaking Into The Industry
9. Age of Conan: Active Blocking and Sneaking Video From GDC
10. Final Fantasy XI: Dancer and Scholar Interview

Real World News

• Jedi Knight Demands Right To Carry Laser Weapon In School [Thanks Matt]

  Except a lightsaber isn't a laser, duh!

• Microsoft Officially 425 Years Behind The Times [Thanks Matt]
  They may have to leap a few years to catch up.
• I've Just Had A Fit You Wanker

  Tourette Syndrome manifests itself in the one-finger-salute.

• Connecticut Woman Gets Rehab For Groping Mall Santa [Thanks Martuk]

  Applications for Santa jobs in Connecticut skyrocket.

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and the Ten Ton Hammer Team