Blizzard Needs to Add Flying to Draenor

By David Piner -
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Anyone remember Bloodrayne? That game was hype. Anyway let's talk about flying in WoW.

Look, let's all sit down and have a quick chat. It's about quality of life. Now, for a lot of you, running around Draenor on your ground mount is like playing TBC or Vanilla all over again, before you could obtain a flying mount and when flying was the same speed as walking, except in the air. Remember when flying was a novelty? Yeah, you do, because in general chat all I ever get to hear about is the argument of flying vs. no flying and let me tell you how it should be alright, we should be able to fly at level 100 and here is why.

First, we've pretty much have seen all of Draenor. Blizzard successfully removed PvP and dungeons as a viable way to level quickly. We get it. It's pretty, it's nice, and I'm so happy that I've got to personally see it. You know what else is great about Draenor. The sky and the trees. The sky and trees are just great. I want to enjoy the beauty whatever imaginary moon length in the sky in my kickass dragon of doom while laughing manically making terrible mankirks wife jokes in trade chat. Ya know what, I want to dismount above Shattrath City and float down shooting two birds at the Iron Horde while casting every sparkly spell possible to be a giant glowing flaming ball of doom gently floating in the skies making fun of the scrubs who keep asking where that dumb bird is that is south of a town ka'laal or whatever, by telling them all to ALT-F4.

Why can't I do this Blizzard? Why can't enjoy the beautiful skies of Draenor while on my mount that I scrapped together the last bits of my ramen money for after I forgone buying a bed in order to purchase legions of Hearthstone cards? This is a consumer issue! My sparkle pony needs to take to the skies, much like a Transformer. Me and it had a wonderful conversation last night. It was telling me how much it just wanted to kiss the skies in Dreanor. I took it to Outland and the air was dirty and the place looks like a Rhino took a massive defecation on some horribly formed 3D Maya editor default template and smeered it across with some big grimace Blizzard must have had 8 years ago or whatever when we were all hype about how beautifully shitty Hellfire Peninsula was. You know what, we didn't even like it then. It's probably why Tanaan Jungle is closed right now, because they're scared we're going to hate the expansion on the first sight of a hellboar.

If you think we need to be grounded, then I'm sorry, but just don't buy a flying mount. It's not your choice to make us all roleplay around the world of Azeroth like we're some kind of tourists that enjoy the sight of a aging game's graphics. No, we're people who want to get from point A to point B quickly and without having to spend gold. It's 1 gold a flight, did ya know. Sure that's just a few monsters, but it adds up. That's like saying you can't take a cheaper form of transportation when there is other options available to you because you want to spend more money for less fun.

Speaking of - HELLO, we already FLY ALL OVER DRAENOR. We do so on the taxi service offered by Blizzard. This is like Blizzard wanting I guess flying to be the worlds crappiest meat sink. Oh boy, they're totally draining that gold out of the economy with these beautiful scenic flights that I alt-tab out of and play Kerbal or something stupid while my slow ass mount gets from one end of the continent to the other making every stop and zig zag it can on the way. Boy oh boy, I sure am the OG true commander, I don't even get my private jet, I get to ride AirTran with the rest of y'all.

I mean if the NPCs treat me like some 1%, the commander that has finally came to liberate them from whatever threat we're fighting in Dreanor (we blew the portal up I guess we need to go fight Garrosh again because Blizzard loves beating dead horses with giant sticks aka Kel'Thuzad and Anub not dying for a century. Yeah, let's just go and be like, guys our next expansion is gonna be aight in WAIT FOR IT, LOL NORTHREND *crowd at Blizzcon cheers* yes yes that's right Garrosh has opened a portal up to the FROZEN THRONE with NER'ZHUL who have reversed the curse but now the Lich King is back this time it's Ner'zhul and GARROSH WOOOOOOO *crowd starts rioting with joy* and it's also going to be in like FIVE INSTALLMENTS AT $39.99 EACH AND YOU HAVE TO BUY 20 HEARTHSTONE CARD PACKS *WOOOOO CROWD GOES CRAZY YAYYYY BLIZZARD*

Whatever, just give us flying Blizzard. I get you crafted this beautiful land, but boot up some legacy servers if you want to force people into a world without flying and make them bootstraps. This is 2014 and I damn sure can fly and still enjoy the scenery. Thanks!

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About The Author

David "Xerin" Piner
Get in the bush with Xerin every week for his column, Respawn, as he analyzes the hottest trends, buzz topics, and absurdities in MMO gaming. In addition to his ongoing war against early access titles.

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