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Five Things You Can Do in Diablo III, but Probably Shouldn't in Real Life

Posted Fri, Mar 28, 2014 by Mem

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Reaper of Souls is here and players have flocked back to Diablo III to test out the new content, myself included. As I happily hack and slash my way through hordes of demons, undead, and inanimate objects that get in the way, I can only imagine the horror some people would find in what I consider to be a grand old time. You see, blaming games for transgressions taking place in the real world is a big thing these days, with just about everyone jumping on the band wagon.


With all that being said, any rational gamer will tell you, that this is nothing short of pure codswallop. Unless you already have a screw lose, you know that there are some things you can do in game that you really probably shouldn't try out in real life. Diablo III and it's predecessors have plenty of great examples of that, some more harmless than others.


Read on to see my top 5 picks for things I do in Diablo III that I probably shouldn't do in real life:


Grave Robbing

In the world of Diablo III, it is perfectly acceptable to wander intro crypts, overturn corpses, and otherwise pillage the dead. Nothing is sacred here. If you have valuables on you and you happen to be no longer one of the living, consider them no longer yours. Gold, trinkets, rings, even the clothes off your back, will be casually taken by random adventurers strolling through the world. There is no remorse here, only satisfaction for having collected a new piece of loot.


Of course, in the real world it doesn't quite work that way. People tend to get a little bent of shape if you loot the dead bodies of their friends and family. Grave robbing is a pretty serious offense in the real world. It will land you with a felony on your record, jail time, and a hefty fine.


Dead Villager D3


Vandalism

Nothing brings me more joy in Diablo than smashing random objects through the world. It doesn’t matter what it is, if it breaks I am all over it. Vases, tables, bookshelves, torture devices, you name it, I've probably broken it. Sometimes breaking these items even garners you a small gold reward, making the breaking all the sweeter. There is nothing quite like the utter satisfaction one gets from destroying things in game.


Breaking things in the real world, especially things that don't belong to you, is not a good plan. Imagine walking into an antiques shop, your friends house, or even the local Walmart and just breaking things Diablo style. It is safe to say that the owners would be pretty unhappy. It is likely that you would end up having to pay for all the items broken and if the owners were particularly grumpy, you may get spend some quality time with a police officer.


Looting Personal Belongings

In Sanctuary the NPCs just don't care if you walk up in front of them and dig through their bags, chests, or other personal storage spaces. A perfect example of this can be found in Act I. Here players are introduced to Haedrig, the blacksmith. Haedrig it seems, keeps his belongings in a cute little chest just outside his forge. Of course, because this is a game, this chest is lootable by the player. You can take what is inside and Haedrig will say or do nothing to stop you.


Unfortunately, in the real world, taking other people's things is totally unacceptable. You can't go pillaging through your best friend's jewelry box or the local convenience store and just walk out with you want. Your friend is going to be pretty upset with you and as for the convenience store, well, it would probably be another visit with that police officer we talked about earlier. People can be so touchy in real life!


Blacksmith's Belongings


Hired Hit Man

Speaking of Haedrig, it is this fellow that starts your career in Diablo III as something of a hired hit man (or woman). He begs you to assist you in killing off his wife, who happens to be very close to turning into one of the walking dead. Of course, you take on the task and poor, unfortunate Mira bites the dust. This is just the beginning of a long line of people and creatures that you are tasked to kill.


The job of a hired hit man in real life is pretty frowned upon. People just don't approve and really, no sane person would do it. You can't provide this service or pay for it without suffering some serious consequences if you are caught. So forget offing the old ball and chain, that kind of thing is reserved for the in-game world only.


Kicking Down Doors

While this may fall under the vandalism category, I thought it was significant enough to make the list all on it's own. In Diablo III kicking down a door to enter a room is not big deal. You do it almost continuously throughout the game. Honestly, I think that considering you are a bad ass epic hero in the game, there is no better way to make an entrance.


Of course, as with everything on this list, kicking down a door to make your entrance is not something that translates well to real life. First and foremost, people just don't appreciate it. Not only does it make a huge mess and the door will ultimately need repaired. Also, people don't really like others bursting into their personal space, no matter how cool the entrance. Even if you did find someone who would welcome this unusual way to come inside, breaking a door isn't as easy as it looks in game. Unless you are trained in marital arts, serious bodily injury would be quite possible.


That wraps up my list of top 5 picks of things I do in Diablo that I probably shouldn't do in real life. What are some things you do in game that might be frowned upon in the real world? Share them with us in the comments section below!


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