Ten Ton Hammer Network News

  • Ganked!

    Jeff "Ethec" Woleslagle here, continuing to fill in for John "Boomjack" Hoskin, who is currently on vacation touring the bottom floors of America's 2-story outhouses. Not to worry, he'll take a shower and be back in the distinguished "Loading..." chair this Wednesday.

    The collossal nerd zerg a.k.a. Comic-Con 2006 has come to a close. What did the event mean to MMOG fans worldwide? Blizzard had a booth, SOE had a wicked fun block party off-site, but other than that... absolutely nothing. Which is why your friends at Ten Ton Hammer chose to sit this one out and let the gold-selling Hun do all the reporting while we provide the color commentary from the comfort of our own home. And let the commentary commence…

    You're one click away from everything you never knew you needed to know about Comic-Con 2006, plus the same humor and news you've come to expect from Loading...

    Ganked! - July 24, 2006 [Comic-Con Wrap-up Edition]

    Mon, Jul 24, 2006
  • The Quest Guides are Coming!

    Tonight Ralsu takes a look at emails from readers and shares some of his big plans for the site. Predictably, the issue of the drow surfaces again. The big news: the quest guides are coming!

    "Back to quest guides, let me assure you that we've been compiling the data for the past 5 months. I can now proudly say that we are ready to start unveiling our quest guides! Look for the first series to come in late August. After that, we'll start posting them regularly. I'll be sure to mix them up for you, too. Our first set of quest guides will be lower level, but future sets will vary in level greatly. "

    Find out what else Ralsu has to share. Got a question for him? Ask it in the forums at DDO Ten Ton Hammer!

    Mon, Jul 24, 2006
  • Mercurial Thoughts

    During this year's Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), Ten Ton
    Hammer's booth babe photos were a huge hit. Why? Pretty girls in revealing
    clothing--duh! But Mercurie takes time this week to ponder whether booth
    babes are harmless fun, or a phenomenon that objectifies women and furthers
    the stereotype that all gamers are just hormonal teenage boys. How do you
    feel about booth babes? Read Mercurie's latest editorial, then share your
    thoughts on our forum.

    "It must be pointed out that while they are controversial, booth
    babes are nothing unusual. Indeed, the use of pretty girls to sell goods is
    nothing new. In the 30s and 40s pin up artist Gil Elvgren provided Coca-Cola
    advertisements with paintings of lovely ladies. Throughout the twentieth
    century a number of print ads and television commercials would include
    pretty Gil Elvgren pin-up artgirls (indeed, 60s and 70s airline ads were
    fairly notorious for portraying flight attendants--then called
    stewardesses--as sex objects)."

    y&ceid=341">Keep reading
    to learn more about how Mercurie feels. I know you have an opinion on this topic so head on over to Vanguard Ten Ton Hammer and share it with us in the forums!

    Sat, Jul 22, 2006
  • Weekly Official Forum Roundup

    Each week, Aunraye scours the official Vanguard forums for fun,
    interesting, or informative threads. This week she's uncovered a thread
    about "mounts with attitude," a discussion about being able to name weapons
    (alert the name police, I just saw someone running by with Glamdring!), an
    idea for allowing players to become legendary characters, and more.

    y&ceid=340">Check it out!
    And if the official forums scare you, the Vanguard Ten Ton Hammer forums offer a safe harbor away from the fanboi fervor.

    Fri, Jul 21, 2006
  • Live (Game) Update 25 and Tailored Clothing

    The Live (Game) Update that wasn't. Not only is it no longer a Live Update, there wasn't a THING for the protesters to protest! Except clothes... Ever hear the old saying: "Be careful what you wish for?" Oh yeah..

    "They say that the clothes make the man." A large Kerran holding a microphone muses as he looks into a television camera. "But what happens when those clothes cause their creators pain, anguish, and even monetary loss?" He asks, rhetorically, as he shifts his weight slightly.

    Read more thoughts from Coyote. You know what to do by now don't ya? You guessed it...let us know what you think in the forums at EQ2 Ten Ton Hammer.

    Fri, Jul 21, 2006
  • A Day in the Life of an EverQuest 2 Site Writer

    Ever wondered what goes on around here behind the scenes? Me too! When I figure it out completely, I'll let you know, but in the meantime here is a look at a typical Thursday.

    I know exactly what you're thinking. What in the world could be exciting about the life of a Ten Ton Hammer writer for EverQuest 2? Absolutely nothing, but here I am typing about it anyways. Ever wonder what goes on behind the scenes, how we decide what we write about, and what our secret handshake is? Yeah I didn't think you cared, but for the 5 of you who do (4 of which are Ten Ton Hammer employees), Thursday is usually the busiest day, and a great example of what we go through on a weekly basis.

    Keep reading to see what happens to RadarX. Head over to EQ2 Ten Ton Hammer and let us know what you think of this article in the forums.

    Fri, Jul 21, 2006
  • Paladin How To

    We've gone through our Paladin Class Guide and updated a lot of
    the information from the words of seasoned Paladins. Included in the
    updates is a few brand new talent builds (both PvP, PvE, and leveling
    builds), updated information on the best way to utilize your Paladin,
    all about Paladin U.I.s, and much more!

    "In solo PvE, combat should start with using Judgement of Crusader
    (using Seal of the Crusader then judging it). Then use your combat
    seal (Seal of Righteousness or Seal of Command) and swing your weapon
    at the enemy! Depending on how well your mana holds, judge your combat
    seal and reapply. You'll need to experiment with it to see how often
    you can judge a seal while not spending all of your mana."

    Learn more about Paladins in this helpful guide beought to you by WoW Ten Ton Hammer.

    Fri, Jul 21, 2006
  • Ganked!

    Don’t adjust your monitor! This is, in fact, the column usually known as “Loading…”, usually authored by John “Boomjack” Hoskin. The wheels on the Hoskin family van are going round and round as Father Boomjack takes a well-deserved vacation. In the aftermath of this momentous event (momentous, in that we now have EVE Online ISK riding on whether or not we’ll see a day pass without an email from our supposedly vacationing boss) you’re left with Jeff “Ethec” Woleslagle’s Ganked!And you’re just one click away from the rest of it!

    Join us as we entertain a comment from one of our oh-so-insightful readers, plus offer you the best in MMO news, commentary, and humor. You know what to do…

    Ganked! - July 21, 2006 [Open-Line Friday Edition]

    Fri, Jul 21, 2006
  • Ganked!

    Day three of the Ganked! takeover of Loading... Never fear, John “Boomjack” Hoskin will take up the reins again next Wednesday when he returns rested and rejuvenated from a week of email-free vacation. I said “email-free vacation,” John!

    There’s a new MMORPG in the works. The folks at SquareEnix have a new “next-gen” MMORPG in the works for the PC (Vista), Xbox 360, and Playstation 3. Originally rumored to be a sequel to Final Fantasy XI (FFXI-and-a-half? - Final Fantasy XII is already taken), the mega-publisher across the Pacific pond has since claimed that this MMO is something completely different.

    For more on what “next-gen” could mean, and the Loading… style news and commentary you know and love, click those beautiful blue letters.

    Ganked! July 20, 2006

    Thu, Jul 20, 2006
  • Was Your First Time All You Hoped It Would Be?

    Everybody remembers their first...MMO, that is. We want to hear scintillating tales of your first time. Which game took your MMO virginity: was it an old school MMO, or a more recent one? And how do you feel about it now--nostalgic or apathetic? We're encouraging you to gather 'round and join us in a little game of Truth or Dare. Better just tell us the truth, though, because who knows what we might dare you to do.

    "A couple nights ago, while playing some MMO (which shall remain nameless just...because), someone on the /ooc channel blurted, "OMG! EQOA popped my cherry, too!" Of course, just a couple seconds later she said demurely, "Whoops! That was a mistell." But it was too late; everyone heard it. Obviously, she mistakenly used the out of character chat channel during a private discussion about the first multiplayer online game she'd ever played, and the one that took her virginity happened to be EverQuest Online Adventures."

    Hurry over to Vanguard Ten Ton Hammer and tell us about your
    y&ceid=339">first MMO experiences.

    Thu, Jul 20, 2006
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