Xbox Reveal Event Coverage

Ten Ton Hammer Network News

  • New Visual Heroic Opportunities Reference for EQ2

    "HO" isn't just something you yell at the double dutch bus!

    EQ2 players know that a Heroic Opportunity is a set of coordinated group-member actions that, if properly completed in a short amount of time, lead to damage bonuses or heals and buffs for the group, though Neddie Seagoon (understandably) describes the process as a "Hopeless Opportunity. A game device whereby a group is instructed to execute an elaborate series of spells in the heat of battle demanding the intricate timing and delivery of the Cirque de Soleil acrobatic corps, while actually flailing at the keyboard with all the co-ordination, planning and dignity of a frenzied bunch of cornered raccoons. A cruel practical joke courtesy of the EQ2 designers."

    Well, stay with me friends, but I think Lycanthor just helped HOs enter the EQ2 realm of combat possibilities...

    After shopping around for a good, up-to-date Heroic Opportunities reference, site contributor Lycanthor of Highkeep server found that there simply wasn't one anywhere! Did he turn around and walk away from the gaping hole in that crucial pile of maps and reference data we keep close at hand while playing EQ2? Heck no! He developed his own graphical HO reference and asked us to help him spread the good news! Our thanks to Lycanthor for a superbly done HO guide, we're pleased as punch to host your fine work!

    "Heroic Opportunities are free damage, power, health and other buffs- so why not use them? Lycanthor of Highkeep has created an easy-to-follow guide to allow you to execute and switch out HOs effectively. Print out the 1-page guide for sessions with large groups, or the individual pages for a detailed look at your archetype's triggered HO possibilities!"

    Check out the Everquest II Visual Heroic Opportunities Guide and be the envy of your next group!

    Wed, Aug 31, 2005
    Ethec
  • Loading... August 30, 2005

    Loading...
    So much for slow MMOG news. Today was filled with gems, including two personal favourites from China. If the French had gotten into it I may have had a banner day. I will be travelling to meetings Wednesday to Friday, but our good man Jeff "Ethec" Woleslagle will be sitting in as my guest host. I'm sure many of you can barely contain your excitement at this announcement. To you I say, "Pffffffftttttt".
    I'd like to throw out a big round of clap out to all of the nations that have stood up and sent millions upon millions of dollars and thousands of relief workers to help the U.S. citizens who have lost everything in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. It's heart-warming to know that you would help the U.S. in the same way that you helped those hurt by the Tsunami. /Canadian Sarcasm Off
    Tuesday Vin Diesel Fact:

    Vin Diesel created the periodic table, although in the original version he was the First Element.
    I have a funny bone to pick with your folks... ohhhh, a pun that even Phil would be proud of. Each day I will link an "unusual" story and you folks send me what you feel the headline should be. One lucky entrant will win an all expenses paid trip to your desk chair, and my undying gratitide, AND THAT'S NOT ALL!!!! For a limited time I'll give you full credit. After that, I'll start taking credit for your humour. Just kidding...maybe.
    Today's Story - CNN Staffers Have It Out On Air

    Send your headline submissions to Boomjack@TenTonHammer.com. And keep your spam, you spamming bastards. Maybe China should limit spammers to three-consecutive hours of work?
    What's new on the network.

    What was recently recent, or what we still want you to see...you decide.

    Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.

    • Sweden's Twisting Tower

      Winner of the "Best excuse by a drunken architect goes to..."
    • Eyes Wide Open

      Postage stamp sized big screens.
    • iTunes May Pay More to Play

      iOutrage from the iGadget users will iEnsue.
    • School Gives Pupils F-word Limit

      Chris Rock seen leaving the school yelling "F-Yeah!"
    • Scientists Discover That People With Red Hair Get Sunburns

      In other news, our brightest minds have also discovered that dogs bark, water is wet.
    • Asteroid Could Smash Into Earth

      Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck stop drilling wells, get their spacesuits on.
    • Dead End Kid Makes Grave Mistake [Thanks Okooo]

      Is that a decomposing head on your shoulder, or are you just glad to see me?
    • Eyebrow Record Holder [Thanks Okooo]

      A man with three incher holds record.
    • A Bill For Your Bill. [Thanks Okooo]

      It's not gouging if they tell you to your face.
    • China's Newest Epedemic - Nude Web Chatting

      Chatroom names like Jenny Talia and Hugh Jass usually a give-away.

    -- John "Boomjack" Hoskin

    Loading...
    Tue, Aug 30, 2005
    Boomjack
  • 4 Million WoW Subscribers

    WoW announces 4 Million subscribers just a month after announcing 3.5 Million.
    Blizzard has issued a press release announcing 4 Million paying subscribers. Our attempts to contact all 4 million paying subscribers were in vain. We were only able to track down 3.8 Million. Nonetheless, each and every one of them had this to say:

    "IRVINE, California - August 29, 2005 - Blizzard Entertainment®, Inc. today announced that World of Warcraft®, its subscription-based massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG), has reached more than one million paying customers in North America. This brings the total population for Blizzard's critically acclaimed game, the largest MMORPG in the world, to more than four million paying customers. "It's very rewarding to see so many new and returning players logging in to play World of Warcraft daily," said Mike Morhaime, president and cofounder of Blizzard Entertainment. "With the continued support of our retail partners, World of Warcraft has reached more than one million paying customers in North America well before its one-year anniversary in November. We would like to express our appreciation to both the players and our retail and license partners for helping us make World of Warcraft one of the most popular online games in the world." To support World of Warcraft's expanding population, Blizzard Entertainment continues to release content updates on a regular basis. These updates continually evolve the game, rewarding subscribers with new experiences and enticing prospective players to join in on an ever-growing number of adventures. World of Warcraft has been the #1-selling MMORPG in North America since it launched in November 2004. Reaching the one million customer milestone in North America further solidifies World of Warcraft's position as the biggest and most popular online RPG by far in the region. Since its North America debut, World of Warcraft has steadily grown in popularity around the world. Following launches in Australia, New Zealand, Korea, and Europe, World of Warcraft recently released in China on June 7, 2005 and quickly garnered over 1.5 million paying customers in its first month. Shortly after the China launch, World of Warcraft made its debut in Singapore. The game is currently scheduled to launch in the region of Taiwan later this year. For more information on World of Warcraft, please visit the game's official website at www.worldofwarcraft.com. World of Warcraft's Paying Customer Definition



    World of Warcraft customers include individuals who have paid a subscription fee or purchased a prepaid card to play World of Warcraft, as well as those who have purchased the installation box bundled with one free month access. Internet Game Room players having accessed the game over the last seven days are also counted as customers. The above definition excludes all players under free promotional subscriptions, expired or canceled subscriptions, and expired pre-paid cards. Customers in licensees' territories are defined along the same rules.
    About Blizzard Entertainment®, Inc.

    Best known for blockbuster hits including the Warcraft®, StarCraft®, and Diablo® series, Blizzard Entertainment® Inc. (www.blizzard.com), a division of Vivendi Universal Games, is a premier developer and publisher of entertainment software renowned for creating many of the industry's most critically acclaimed games. Blizzard's track record includes nine #1-selling games and multiple Game of the Year awards. The company's free Internet gaming service, Battle.net , reigns as the largest in the world, with millions of active users. "

    Related Links:

     

    Tue, Aug 30, 2005
    Boomjack
  • Loading... August 29, 2005

    Loading...
    It's a slooooooooow day for MMOG news. We did get a mailing list setup. We'll send out the daily headlines and whatever else catches our fancy to those of you who prefer e-mail to the Web. I tried sticking the little "Sign Up" dodad in here, but the system cough, sputtered and went into cardiac arrest. I was able to start CPR in time and you are left with the fancy picture at the top of the left menu for your mailing list subscription needs.

    Monday Vin Diesel Fact:

    Vin Diesel owns a business where he recharges batteries with a lay of hands.

    I've been coming up with crazy headlines for news stories and I think it's about time some of you gave back instead of just taking every day. Now whaddaya say? Here's your chance to be famous, or at least get your name in front of the six people that read this column. I'll post a link to a story and the person with the best headline gets it on the site complete with their name (or alias) in lights if they so choose.
    Today's Story - Race Exudes City's Uniqueness

    Send your headline submissions to Boomjack@TenTonHammer.com.
    What's new on the network.

    What was recently recent, or what we still want you to see...you decide.

    Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.

    • Google is Building Its Own Internet

      Constipation can even be a problem for an entity like Google. More fiber the doctor said, so more fiber they shall have.
    • iPod "Shuffle" Randomness Explained

      Apple cultists rejoice. Their iFaith iRenewed in the omnipotent powers of their overpriced gadgets.
    • Authorities in Turkey Arrest Two in Zotob Investigation

      How they got into the turkey is still unclear, but apparently the cranberry sauce was delicious.
    • Search Engines Take On Talk

      Howard Stern and Opus and WhatsHisName to create their own Instant Messengers, aptly called IM Annoying.
    • Poker Bot Invades Online Tables

      All hail our new PokerBot overlords.
    • Human Cannonball Flies Over Mexican / U.S. Border

      Gardeners across California camouflage hidden 'landing nets' and await the impending invasion.
    • Coffee Is Good For You

      In other news, guy who drinks a lot of coffee condones its use.
    • Japanese Prime Minister Accused of Having Female Ninjas.

      Opposition party hires pirates. The war has begun.
    • Canada Ranks Only Behind Saudi Arabia in Oil Reserves.

      American troops begin massing on Alberta border.

    -- John "Boomjack" Hoskin

    Loading...
    Mon, Aug 29, 2005
    Boomjack
  • Ragnarok 2 To Be Unveiled

    The moment you've been waiting for is almost here! Ragnarok 2 will be released! Let's hope it promises as much shitty gameplay and eye tiring graphics as the original.
    1UP is reporting that Ragnarok 2 will be revealed in all of its tramphy anime glory at the Tokyo Game Show. We are 100% absolutely confident they they may have written this:

    " At the Ragnarok Festival IV held back in July, Gravity said that everyone should hold tight; they will reveal Ragnarok 2 Online at the Tokyo Game Show. Keeping good on their promise, Gravity plans to reveal the game to the public and give an announcement about the company's future plans at the show on September 16th. "

    You can read the entire Ragnarok 2 Announcement at 1UP
    Related Links:

    Mon, Aug 29, 2005
    Boomjack
  • Ganked! - August, 28, 2005

    Ganked! Sunday edition.
    Jeff "Ethec" Woleslagle with the Sunday morning comics... er, I mean real-life news that's completely ridiculous but taken from creditable, TTH-approved sources.
    What's new and sort-of new around the Ten Ton Hammer communities:
    Everquest 2 -
    The "Thundering Steppes" zone guide - maximize your time in this level 18-30ish zone.

    Everquest 2 - Tradeskills: Levels 1-10 - in a jiff and with the least cost!
    World of Warcraft
    - Priest Guide - The recent update covers a host of fundamentals.
    Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - 17 Classes Too Many? - Finchal takes an early look at how SoH will handle class roles.
    Guild Wars - Understanding the Warrior's Role - You might be surprised at this more-than-a-meatshield approach.
    Lord of the Rings Online
     - Lunch of the Rings - Our very own Blindharper brings back an exciting report from a luncheon with Turbine devs

    And on to the news that you could make up. Just kidding, there's no way you could, really. It happened, and that's just all there is to it, see?

    • Farmer Discovers and Traps First Goat Blood-Sucking Chupacabra in Texas

       The vampiric rat-kangaroo-dog actually bears a resemblance to Michael Jackson... or maybe it's just the pastiness.
    • Replica of Buddha's Tooth Stolen from Asian Temple

      Apparently the replica of buddha's belly wouldn't fit in the rickshaw.
    • British Researchers Probe the Causes of Housecat "Petting Aggression"

      Cures for Alzheimer's and Heart Disease still waiting for funding.
    • Peeping Tom Mechanics Inspect More than Your Car

      At $65 a labor hour, they could've at least given patrons a reach-around.
    • Have a Problem with Hideaway Bandits? Calcutta Says, Release Lions!

      Not since Roman times have criminals had such a sporting chance.
    Loading...
    Sun, Aug 28, 2005
    Ethec
  • Ganked! August 27, 2005

    Ganked! Saturday edition.
    Jeff "Ethec" Woleslagle coming to you live from the TTH newsdesk in the tropical, ocean-side paradise of central Pennsylvania.
    My favorite weird news story today even found syndication even in my hometown rag this morning. An exhibit participant, commenting on the London Zoo's "Homo Sapiens" exhibit (in which a gaggle of volunteers traipse around in a primate "enclosure"), said "a lot of people think humans are above other animals." Well, maybe that's because most of us are standing on the outside of the cage! In any case, monkeys have yet to design a quality first-person shooter, let alone an MMORPG.
    In other news, you still can't make this stuff up.

    • Sleep for Sale at the Mall of America: 70 cents a minute / $42 an hour

       Naps in a natural themepark of sorts. Note that "Asheron's Call 2" will only cost you $12.95 a month.
    • Ohio Woman Makes 79 False Complaints Against Neighbors, Including "Unnatural Acts with Animals"

      It kind of makes "get off my lawn!" akin to a pat on the back.
    • "Raging Grannies" Try to Enlist to Protest Iraq War

      Kill them all! Let Matlock sort 'em out.
    • Clerk-Punching 400+ Pound Man Could Get Life After 2nd Attempted Beer Heist

      Where he's going, they don't serve beer. What's worse: they have portion control.
    • Palestinian-American Gets Credit Card Offer Addressed to "Bomber"

      The U.S. Army veteran was even more outraged by the annual fee and APR Chase Bank was offering.
    Loading...
    Sat, Aug 27, 2005
    Ethec
  • Loading... August 26, 2005

    Loading...
    Here comes the weekend. Summer is almost at an end where I live. /sigh
    Friday Vin Diesel Fact:

    Jerry Bruckhiemer's next show, CSI: Vin Diesel, will not co-star Keifer Sutherland.
    What's new on the network.

    What was recently recent, or what we still want you to see...you decide.

    Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.

    • Ghetto Fries Offend Some Appetites

      Subsidized housing fries still flying out the door.
    • Chinese Cyber Spies

      Bringing five-cent McDonald's toys to a spyware program near you.
    • Water Flowed Recently On Mars

      NASA hurriedly building next Mars spacecraft from duct tape and chewing gum.
    • Homer da Vinci

      Homer da Vinci code make N.Y. Times bestseller list.
    • 'Redneck Woman' Singer Asked To Stop Chewing Tobacco

      Cars on blocks in front yard is still O.K.
    • Controlling West Nile Through Mosquito Urine

      Mosquito keg parties coming to a swamp near you.
    • Border Patrol Chopper Brought Down by Thrown Rocks

      Major League Baseball open door to illegal immigrant pitchers.
    • Garbage Truck Forced To Dump Flaming Cargo

      Your tax dollars at work.

    -- John "Boomjack" Hoskin

    Loading...
    Fri, Aug 26, 2005
    Boomjack
  • Gunho's MMO Crazy

    MoCrazy.
    1UP has posted the GungHo lineup for upcoming Tokyo Game Show. SuperHappyFunGamesWithGuns.com will not answer our calls, so we have to assume they would have said this:

    "GungHo, known best for their delivery of MMORPGs from Korea and other
    eastern countries will be showing off the following games at next
    month's Tokyo Game Show."

    You can read the entire GungHo's MMO Crazy Article at 1UP.

    Fri, Aug 26, 2005
    Boomjack
  • Mythic Licenses physX For Warhammer Online

    It's a deal.
    Mythic Entertainment and AGEIA have signed an agreement that will see AGEIA physX technology in the upcoming Warhammer Online title. Donald Trump refused to return our calls regarding this deal, making it unclear if he would have said this:

    " Mythic will make extensive use of the AGEIA physX SDK in developing its upcoming MMORPG based on the legendary Warhammer fantasy world. One of the most enduring fantasy games in history, Warhammer will be released as an MMO for the first time in 2007. Players who have PCs equipped with the AGEIA physX processor will experience never-before-seen levels of online immersiveness, along with stunning effects and rich interactivity. "

    You can read the Mythic Entertainment Licenses AGEIA physX Technology Article at GamesIndustry.biz.
    Related Links:

    Fri, Aug 26, 2005
    Boomjack
RSS feed

News from around the 'Net

Get ReLoading... Daily MMO e-mail newsletter