EverQuest Interviews: Mujaki The Devourer
EQ humor by Coyote
"Fear." A large cat-man holding a microphone speaks the single word as he stares darkly into the camera.
"It can save your life as it offers bursts of adrenaline and speed, or it can paralyze you - holding you unmoving in icy grip as your mind rips through your subconscious like a jagged edge, leaving your sanity tattered and frayed. But what of those who use their wits to scare you out of yours? This is Coyotee Sharptongue for Ten Ton Hammer News, reporting to you live from the Shard of Fear as we explore deeper the mysteries of this birth place of horror." Coyotee explains as he gestures to the blood red skies above him.
"With me today is Mujaki the Devourer, creator of nightmares, father of fear. Can you tell us Mujaki, what exactly is it you do here?" Coyotee holds the microphone to the skull masked figure who steps forward with a menacing glare.
"I unleash the terror buried deep within the minds of my victims. I feed upon the fear driven from them in torrents of sweat, drinking in deep the taste of pure horror." Mujaki bellows, his impressive tones lessened slightly as they are muffled by his mask.
"So, YOU orchestrate our fears within the shard? YOU bring them to life so that we must face our inner demons?" Coyotee asks, sounding more than a bit skeptical.
"You DARE question me Coyotee Sharptongue?" Mujaki roars incredulously.
"Then perhaps you would like to WITNESS MY POWER?" His bellows, his voice reaches impressive yet still slightly muffled octaves.
Coyotee looks around nervously before turning towards the skull clad figure looming menacingly before him.
"No, no..that's quite alright. Y-you don't need to bring my fears to life, I was simply-" The reporter tries to explain, only to be cut off by Mujaki's rage.
"SILENCE WORM! You have angered me Coyotee Sharptongue, and you must be taught a LESSON! QUAKE before me as I reach into your mind and produce THIS!" Mystical energy erupts around Mujaki in an explosion of fire and energy, forming a object in his outreached hand.
Screaming in horror Coyotee pulls away, his fear laced shrieks piercing the world around them.
"NO! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY! I..uh .um..what is that?" Coyotee's fear turns to curiosity as he stops screaming and looks into the out-stretched hand.
"BEHOLD! Your fears have taken form! KNEEL before the MASTER of TERROR!" Mujaki's voice echoes evilly as he holds forth a small piece of twisted metal.
"Is that a paperclip?" Coyotee asks in confusion as he cautiously pokes the object with one finger.
"YES! HAHAHA! Your fears have taken form, and NOW, I hold them in my hand, for the WORLD TO SEE!" Mujaki laughs, proudly showing the piece of twisted wire to the camera.
"Um..but..I'm not afraid of paperclips." Coyotee says, obviously puzzled.
"Dude. You totally are." Mujaki says quickly.
"No, really, I'm not. It's just a paperclip. Why is that scary?" Coyotee asks as he tries to figure out the meaning of horror behind the office supply.
An awkward silence surrounds the two men as they look down at the paperclip resting harmlessly in Mujaki's palm.
"Um..because..um..Ooooohhh looook. It's chhhaaannnging." Mujaki says suddenly in a spooky voice as he starts to bend the paperclip.
"No its not. You're just ..bending it. I'm sorry but I just don't understand." Coyotee apologizes as he watches Mujaki bending the metal wire.
"It's a SNAKE now Oooohhhhhh Snnaaaakkkkee...SNA...no? Nothing? How about a worm. Are you afraid of worms?" Mujaki inquires hopefully as he glances at the Kerran.
"No. No. Not afraid of snakes or worms and its not REALLY a snake or a worm now is it? Its just a bent paperclip." Coyotee points out as the two men stare blandly at the now twisted clip.
"Nothin' eh? Really? No jitters? No shakes? BOO!" Mujaki screams suddenly and throws the paperclip at the reporter.
Coyotee doesn't jump or even move to protect himself as the paperclip softly bounces off his chest and falls to the ground between them.
Another awkward silence ensues as the reporter prods at the paperclip with his foot.
"A paperclip? Really?" Coyotee asks quietly as he shakes his head.
"I..uh..gotta go." Mujaki says without warning as he quickly walks away, leaving a puzzled Coyotee staring at the object at his feet.
Coyotee scratches his head and looks up, turning to the camera with wide eyes as he realizes that his newscast is still recording.
"THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! Your fears! Real. Alive. Tormenting you as you fight your way through the shard. So the next time you find yourself alone and afraid...remember. THIS could be YOUR fear! " Coyotee whispers eerily as he holds up the bent paperclip in hopes of saving the interview.
"This is Coyotee Sharptongue for Ten Ton Hammer news, bringing you the TRUE story. Back to you Tom and Diane." He finishes, the camera fading to black.
"A F***ing PAPERCLIP?" is heard faintly before the feed cuts to static.
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