The Five - Qeynos Under Siege

By: Coyotee Sharptongue

Daybreak.

The first few rays of dawn shatter the softblanket of night
as the city of Qeynos lays quiet in peaceful slumber.

But not all dream of peace.

On a large hillside overlooking the sleeping city
five
imposing figures stand side by side in silence, their hooded robes
hiding from
sight their ever watching eyes.

The leader of this dark brotherhood stands in the
center of
the ranks. His hooded head adorned with a crown of wicked horns; the
lone
symbol to mark his sovereignty over the others.

Stepping forward he raises his heavily draped arms
towards
the city and cries out into the morning’s birth.

“BROTHERS!” He bellows, his deep voice booming
down upon the
unsuspecting city as he cries out, the four remaining figures raising
their
arms in unison, mirroring his gesture.

“For too long we have remained silent. For too
long we have
hoped for ancient prophecies or forgotten scriptures to deliver us from
the
rotted womb that is Qeynos.” He cries out in anguish as the others
allow their
silence to echo his outrage.

“But now is the time, and in the years to come,
when the
slaves that were once the proud citizens of this city cry out in pain
and
sorrow, they will remember this MOMENT – THIS DAWN OF A NEW REIGN OF
EVIL!” He
screams from the zenith of the hillside, his hatred bouncing off of the
protective walls that cradle the city.

“No more will we rely on demons, spells,
rituals..” He
growls as he snaps his fingers, gesturing towards another of the hooded
figures, who steps forward holding a small sack. “For this dawn, this
day, we
take it upon ourselves to conquer this city.” He finishes, gesturing to
a
second hooded figure who also steps forward, holding a black leather
wrapped
bundle.

“By eating the sacred ambrosia, the very
food of
the gods, we shall be made immortal.
Powered by the
strength of a thousand men, we shall rip through the feeble shell that
Qeynos
has wrapped itself in and destroy ALL that oppose us as we wield the
flaming
swords of CHAOS!” He laughs maniacally as he reaches for the sack.

“Brother Hateborn, distribute the ambrosia.”
He
commands
with an evil satisfaction.

Brother Hateborn hesitates as he holds back
the
small bag,
wincing slightly as his ruler snatches it greedily and looks inside.

“What the frick are these?” He asks angrily,
holding up a
flakey pastry.

“Muffins?” Brother Hateborn replies meekly,
flinching just a
bit.

“Muffins.” The leader echoes in disbelief.

“BLUEBERRY Muffins.” Hateborn adds hopefully.

A long silence ensues as the robed leader
looks
into the bag
before him, then slowly to the other hooded figure.

“What. The HELL am I supposed to DO WITH
MUFFINS
KYLE?!?” He
screams flinging the bag of treats back at the cowering man in a spray
of
crumbs.

“SERIOUSLY. You had *one* JOB. You had to
SECURE
THE SACRED
AMBROSIA. I gave you the FRIGGING QUEST, EXPLAINED the importance of
the GOD
DAMN Ambrosia, and you bring me DONUTS?” He screams as the newly named
“Kyle”
scrambles to pick up the discarded food and quickly rejoins the ranks
of his
brethren.

Putting a hand to his horned forehead the
leader
of the
brotherhood sighs quietly, his shoulders slumping slightly.

 “Okay.” He says trying to sound optimistic
as he
points to
the figure holding the wrapped leather items.

“We still have the Flaming Swords of Chaos.
Right?” He states as he
reaches
over to unwrap the clothed weapons.

“Okay, now you’re just gunna be MAD.”
The robed disciple holding the swords states flatly as his hoard is
exposed.

Picking up a plastic sword by its hilt the leader
slowly
puts his free hand back to his forehead.

“These aren’t the Flaming Swords of Chaos. Are
they?” He
asks quietly to the robed presenter who shakes his head no.

“But if you shake them really hard they glow.” He
points out
helpfully, giving one of the swords a vigorous shake and holding the
now dimly
glowing blade out for inspection.

“Glowsticks and muffins.” The leader says quietly.

“GLOWSTICKS AND FRIGGING MUFFINS? HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO
OVERTHROW A CITY WITH GLOWSTICKS AND FRIGGING MUFFINS?!” He screams in
rage,
flipping over the offered stack of novelty swords.

“SERIOUSLY. Did you guys even READ the memo?
Glowsticks and
MUFFINS? Are we evil overlords bent on destruction or GOD DAMN
HIPPIES?” He
bellows, pacing violently back and forth as he screams at his troops.

“I have HALF a MIND to take EACH AND EVERY LAST
ONE OF YOU
AND –“ The leader’s threats of violence are abruptly cut off.

“WHO’S OUT THERE?” A voice calls out from the
barely lit
guard tower, causing all five figures to freeze.

“GUARDS! RUN!” One of the robed figures screams,
causing the
leader’s loyal followers to lift their robes and run shrieking away
from the
city walls.

“YOU GUYS SUCK!” The lead figure screams after his
fleeing
brotherhood before hiking up his own robes and taking up chase.

….leaving once more…the city of Qeynos….safe…

 …For the moment.