Gaming with Uncle Lester: Excessive Boob Jiggle
Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesnÂt mean he isnÂt a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!
Hello and welcome to the second edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! IÂm your host of todayÂs show, Uncle Lester. Forced to move on from yesterdayÂs driveway, I was lucky enough to find an unsecure connection while driving around last night. The school faculty shouldnÂt mind a rickety van without any windows being parked beside the playground, right? Fingers crossed!
TodayÂs topic guys and gals? Boobs. And not just any boobs, but the ridiculously huge and jiggly boobs of certain video games. Ivy of Soul Calibur comes to mind as a great example. In the first Soul Calibur, they were definitely large, but by the time we get to Soul Calibur IV, theyÂre just ridiculous. And letÂs not kid ourselves Â there is no way that piece of string is going to keep her from having to call Janet JacksonÂs lawyers for the incoming nip slip. I donÂt care if you use duct tape, gorilla glue, or staplesÂ itÂs not going to help.
Hey. I get it. Even when weÂre not talking about lamb, I love a nice rack just as much as the next guy or gal, depending on their personal persuasion. That doesnÂt mean I want developers spending stupid amounts of time on both the art and ÂphysicsÂ of ridiculous boobage. Instead of making the boobs of female characters as large and ridiculous as developers think they can get away with, how about we start creating ÂrealÂ female characters instead? IÂm willing to bet the developer that does will find themselves with a much bigger slice of that elusive gamer demographicÂ WOMEN! Of course, all IÂve got to bet with at the moment is a cheeseburger I managed to scrounge up from an undisclosed dumpster but IÂm a gambling man so IÂm all in!
ThatÂs it for todayÂs show but tune in tomorrow for more from your Traveling Wilbury of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!