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Gaming with Uncle Lester: Excessive Boob Jiggle

Posted Tue, Jun 25, 2013 by Uncle Lester

Gaming With Uncle Lester

Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!


Hello and welcome to the second edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! I’m your host of today’s show, Uncle Lester. Forced to move on from yesterday’s driveway, I was lucky enough to find an unsecure connection while driving around last night. The school faculty shouldn’t mind a rickety van without any windows being parked beside the playground, right? Fingers crossed!

Today’s topic guys and gals? Boobs. And not just any boobs, but the ridiculously huge and jiggly boobs of certain video games. Ivy of Soul Calibur comes to mind as a great example. In the first Soul Calibur, they were definitely large, but by the time we get to Soul Calibur IV, they’re just ridiculous. And let’s not kid ourselves – there is no way that piece of string is going to keep her from having to call Janet Jackson’s lawyers for the incoming nip slip. I don’t care if you use duct tape, gorilla glue, or staples… it’s not going to help.

Hey. I get it. Even when we’re not talking about lamb, I love a nice rack just as much as the next guy or gal, depending on their personal persuasion. That doesn’t mean I want developers spending stupid amounts of time on both the art and “physics” of ridiculous boobage. Instead of making the boobs of female characters as large and ridiculous as developers think they can get away with, how about we start creating “real” female characters instead? I’m willing to bet the developer that does will find themselves with a much bigger slice of that elusive gamer demographic… WOMEN! Of course, all I’ve got to bet with at the moment is a cheeseburger I managed to scrounge up from an undisclosed dumpster but I’m a gambling man so I’m all in!

That’s it for today’s show but tune in tomorrow for more from your Traveling Wilbury of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!


Uncle Lester's age is showing. The Traveling Wilburys? Duuuuuude!

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