Posted Mon, Jul 08, 2013 by Uncle Lester
Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!
Hello and welcome to the 11th edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! I’m your host of today’s show, Uncle Lester. In my defense, I simply want to state that I would have sworn Preacher McGhee asked me to take attendance of all the boys that came to church Sunday. Have you ever seen a person’s face turn genuinely purple? It’s not a pretty sight. Apparently, I misheard something. What I did not mishear was the profanity-laced screaming of Preacher McGhee as he ranted about my need to get out of his church. So… it’s back on the road for me.
Since it was early morning and I didn’t want to fall asleep at the wheel, I dug around in my van and found my secret stash of gamer energy drinks. I grabbed a tiny bottle of Mana and chugged that sucker down. Holy f’ing Christ on a popsicle stick, did that crap taste like ass!!!
It got me wondering just how many other cockamamie ideas these energy drink companies come up with in their desperate attempt to appeal to gamers. I will give credit where credit is due. Mana may taste like the backside of a skunk, but it comes in a cool potion-shaped bottle and has a cool name.
There’s another energy drink marketed directly to gamers that may not have as gut-wrenching a flavor as Mana, but I’ll never find out because it’s called Bawls. I shit you not. I’m not sure what moron of a marketing nitwit thought this name would be cool, but it’s nothing of the sort. It sounds like some company just grabbed a bottle and squeegeed the sweat off some pro athlete’s balls in south Florida… in July… after practice… and that’s disgusting.
That’s it for today’s show but tune in tomorrow for more from your pumped papa of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at UncleLesterWIFI@gmail.com!