Humor

Gaming With Uncle Lester: Jellybean Hell

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Gaming With Uncle Lester

Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesnÂ’t mean he isnÂ’t a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!


Hello and welcome to the first edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! I’m your host of today’s show, Uncle Lester. Ok. That’s enough for introductions. Today’s show is brought to you through the magic of Wi-Fi. Specifically, unsecured Wi-Fi. If there’s any message I have for the old lady living at 1010 East Bagaboo Avenue in Talahassee, Florida, it’s this – pay no heed to the van with no windows parked in your driveway!

Ewwwwwwwww.

Any whoÂ… gaming. ThatÂ’s the topic of my life and today weÂ’re talking about gamer food. More specifically, those funky flavored Harry Potter jellybeans. Have you tried these things? Worms, dirt, soap, grass, VOMITÂ… the list goes on and on. My nephew sent me a care package with this the other day and I was ecstatic. One, that I got anything at all, but two, that he remembered my love of jellybeans.

What gamer doesnÂ’t like a good bean of jelly goodness? And before you ask, yes, I did read the label before eating the one that said vomit, but letÂ’s be real here for a moment. No one in their right mind would ever think a company could sell anything that genuinely tasted like vomit. So I ate it. And promptly proceeded to gag and spit for what seemed like an hour. It tasted exactly like vomit.

I may not have the best gig in the world, being unemployed and always on the lookout for the next Wi-Fi signal, but at least IÂ’m not getting up every day and going in to work to see if the next batch of vomit jellybeans has just the right amount of fresh bile in it.

ThatÂ’s it for todayÂ’s show but tune in tomorrow for more nuggets of awesome sauce! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!

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