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Gaming with Uncle Lester: New Console, No Game... WTF?

Posted Wed, Jul 03, 2013 by Uncle Lester

Gaming With Uncle Lester

Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!


Hello and welcome to the eighth edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! I’m your host of today’s show, Uncle Lester. So uh… yeah. I didn’t think anything about the attendance assignment Preacher McGee gave me in exchange for being able to use the church’s Wi-Fi and parking lot at first but I’m beginning to wonder if there’s something else going on now. He came by to see how I was doing tonight and offered me some Jesus Juice. I’m not a religious man so I declined (wouldn’t want to burst into flames or anything), but I seem to remember hearing something about Michael Jackson and his love of it. Hmmm…

Anyway… with all the commotion being stirred up lately about the upcoming releases of the Xbox One and PS4, there’s really only one question I want answered. Am I getting a free game included with it and are you cheap bastards going to give me more than one controller? Seriously, what the hell happened in the last decade or so?

Back in my day, when you bought a gaming system you got… wait for it – this is going to shock the hell out of all of you… you got… A DAMNED GAME! I mean, what is so freaking hard to understand about that concept? When did it become acceptable to charge me half a month’s rent for a game system and then expect me to pony up another 60+ bucks for a game so I could actually use it?

Personally, I think some greedy beady eyed little bean counter in an office somewhere pitched the idea in a meeting room full of stuffy execs that had never played a game in their miserable little lives. “Hey, I’ve got it! We’ll sell them the greatest thing since the coming of Jesus in home game consoles but leave out any game. We’ll make millions! And we can literally then laugh all the way to the bank because the consumer is too stupid to fight about it!”

Guess what? That little prick of an exec is probably the same one getting off on pics of huge pixelated boobs during the marketing meetings. Sadly, after he was done getting his rocks off to the latest magazine cover highlighting the current disgrace of the gaming world, Scarlet Blade, he told them they should stop including two controllers as well. You know… because I don’t ever want to play a co-op game with anyone… said nobody ever. And that’s my theory on why we get bent over every time a new system comes out. Got a better one? Let’s hear it.

That’s it for today’s show but tune in tomorrow for more from your harassing hooligan of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!

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