Posted Fri, Jul 12, 2013 by Uncle Lester
Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!
Hello and welcome to the 15th edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! I’m your host of today’s show, Uncle Lester. I uh… discovered what those craters are from last night. This isn’t where bad soldiers go to dig holes. This is where fighter jets come and drop bombs. Like REAL f***ing bombs!!! Why wasn’t this area blocked off from the dirt road?! I’ve gotta get the hell out of here ASAP!
Before I do though, it’s time to throw two superheroes from Marvel and DC into the Pit of Eternal Geeknation and see who comes out on top. This week? I'm pitting Marvel's Quicksilver against DC's Flash. Two super speedy characters within their respective comic universes, it's time to throw them in The Pit, so let's go!
On the left, sporting the blue and white trunks, it's Marvel’s Quicksilver. A mutant of extraordinary speed, Quicksilver is also the son of Magneto and twin brother of the Scarlet Witch. Since he’s stuck perceiving the world as moving super slow around him, he has a bit of an attitude and it ain’t friendly. Hey, if I had to be stuck in traffic all day, I’d be grumpy too. The Flash may be faster than Quicksilver, but this is one family you seriously don’t want to piss off, so I think that evens things out.
On the right, wearing red and gold tights, stands Flash. This dude is beyond fast. He used to periodically race Superman. We find out years later that those other races were close because he was being charitable. How do we know he wasn’t lying? Because he smoked the crap out of Superman in a race later. The dude can move so fast that he can actually vibrate his body fast enough to move through solid objects. But can he go up against the mutant might of Quicksilver and the consequences of pissing off his family? That’s up for you to decide.
So there you go! Two of the fastest characters the comic universe has ever known. If we threw them into a pit and forced them to fight it out, who would end up the victor and whose corpse would be left to rot in the sand? Vote for your favorites here!
That’s it for today’s show but tune in Monday for more from your conniving cohort of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!