Updated Wed, Jul 10, 2013 by Shayalyn
MAJOR BIG UPDATE STUFF: I didn't get fired, but I'm going to need a miracle to get me to Vegas for SOE Live. You can be the miracle! Just follow some Ten Ton Hammer social media feeds and enter to win some cool prizes in the Super SOE Ninja Loot Giveaway.
In just a few short weeks Sony Online Entertainment will host SOE Live at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. And so far, I’m not on Ten Ton Hammer’s short list to go. Which sucks. Because I really want to be there when SOE unveils EverQuest Next on August 2nd, and if I’m not I might just, I don’t know...stick a fork in my eye. Or (and this is better, because it doesn’t involve forks or eyeballs, and I kind of like my green eyes) pop a Xanax or two and hide under the covers all day with my Kindle Fire watching streaming video and whimpering because it’s just not the same, damnit.
But I thought I’d try this tactic first. You see, it’s not that my bosses don’t like me, or that Ten Ton Hammer doesn’t have the funds to send me, or anything like that. The reality is that the stars have aligned against me. A whopping contingency of 7 awesome Ten Ton Hammer staff members (I mean this. They’re truly amazing. Not sucking up here, people!) are already slated to attend SOE Live because there will also be a senior management meeting in Vegas at the same time and, well, they’re making an event of it. Who wouldn’t want to offset a bunch of boring meetings with SOE Live excitement? In Vegas?
But I’m not senior management; I’m middle management. A features editor. Which means I’m potentially missing out on SOE Live this year by one step on the corporate ladder. I tell you, how fair is that?
So, this is my petition to my splendid, magnificent, truly wonderful senior bossman, supreme leader and all around swell guy, John “Boomjack” Hoskin.
I’ve never written a Dear John Letter before. This is weird. (Ignore this part if you get that Dear John Letter shit a lot. You can keep it in if you think it’s kinda funny, though.)
As you know, because someone as omniscient as you is keenly aware of all things that go on at Ten Ton Hammer, I am not on the list of staff members scheduled to attend SOE Live this year. It is my hope that you, the most magnanimous individual I’ve had the pleasure of knowing these past seven or so years as I’ve poured my lifeblood and creative energy into Ten Ton Hammer, will consider my request to be among the Hammer crew watching the EverQuest Next unveiling on August 2nd. Here are some reasons:
And so, those are the reasons why I should go to SOE Live, John. I could think of dozens more, but these really should suffice. I’m sending a kid off to college this fall (as an English major with a writing emphasis, and a minor in Game Design Communications. How cool is that?) Because college is expensive, there’s no way I can afford my own ticket and accommodations. If Ten Ton Hammer doesn’t see the value in my attending SOE Live, then I’ll be home with my Kindle Fire and some Xanax. (And potentially a fork, but that's a last resort.) Ten Ton Hammer would be better served if I were actually in Vegas writing, capturing video and ooing and aahing my way through the EverQuest Next reveal.
Yours very truly,
Karen “Shayalyn the Wood Elf Druid” Hertzberg
Writer, Editor, EQ Geek
p.s. - Can I borrow some Xanax, just in case?