What makes people like Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris and even virtual celebrity Leeroy Jenkins so easy to poke fun at?
You may have noticed that there have been no new Vin Diesel Facts out of my weary brain since we turned the page to 2006. A few of you have even written me asking when they would be coming back. The answer: probably never. I'm dry, tapped out, at the bottom of the well...you get the picture. I think it's time for a new face to reap the rewards of daily TTH facts.
My short list includes: Bruce Campbell, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, Those meddling kids from Scooby Doo and our own in-house nitwit, Neddie Seagoon. I'm sure you have better people for me to poke fun at on a daily basis, so let me know who they are! Who knows? You might even get a little present if we pick the one you sent in.
Send your entries here and for the sake of all that is holy don't send them here.
Day Old Comic - Totem Poles are the topic in "Proud Protectors ".
Here's what's new on the network!
- New Year...New Game...New You? - Vanguard
" This year, why not make different resolutions? Why not try to make some that won’t require dieting, or the purchase of a gym membership you’ll stop using after a month or two. Make resolutions that won’t deprive you of your twice-weekly Krispy Kreme or Starbucks addiction. Some time this year, if all goes well, Turbine will favor us with a shiny new game: Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar (LotRO). Before you enter Middle Earth for the first time, why not resolve to be a better gamer? What does being a better gamer mean? Only you can make that determination. I’ll share a few suggestions, though, and you can figure out for yourself which ones fit. "
- New Year's Resolutions For Gamers
" Heading to the gym more, losing a few pounds, eating less junk food, and spending more time with the family, these are all typical responses when asked what you're New Years Resolutions are. Can any of us really keep a straight face as we find ourselves reciting these familiar strains? Looking around the gaming community leads me to think that these recitations are in need of refreshing…something more along the lines of what gamers really ought to try for instead of these mainstream answers. "
- EverQuest 2 - New Year's Resolutions
" One of the most popular new year traditions is to make resolutions. People make promises to themselves to do things better or in some cases worse. This tradition is traced back to early Babylon when folks would make a mental note to return borrowed farming equipment (That reminds me, I should probably take that snow blower back to my neighbor). So let's grab a glass of champagne, put our arms around our neighbors and sing some “Auld Lang Syne”."
- EverQuest 2 - Language Guide Update - U Nubs R Axin 4 it.
"It's self explanatory. What are you looking here for?"
- WoW: Paladin Guide Updated Post 1.9 Patch
" Wishing they had Frost Shock since 2005"
- EverQuest 2 - Assassin Guide
" Like to be up in the mix but not be the focus of a monsters wrath? With high damage stealth attacks the assassin moves in and brings the pain. Not designed to take much in the damage department, it requires cunning and strategy for maximum efficency. One of their primary functions involves the ability to hide from most enemies, unleashing their strikes without warning. Another involves being able to tip their blades with poision, causing damage and other adverse effects. They are also one of the few classes trained to use thrown and projectile weaponry firing from a distance. "
- WoW: Back to the Future
" It's now 2006, a brand new year, full of endless posibilites, dozens of Blizzard promises, and the contiuation of that living being, known as the Online Game, World of Warcraft. Much has happened in a year and infact the game itself has only been out for a short while longer, but has already taken under it's influence 5, 000, 000 gamers around the world and has a well established in game economy. This "New Year's Resolution" Tentonhammer article will take a breif look at some of the many statements and promises made by the players in Azeroth that they will try and keep throught the next year, as well, how much things have changed over the passed year since the game's begining. "
- Auto Assault: The Benefits of IRC and Gaming
" When Auto Assault (or AA) starts up, the first thing you are going to want to do is play. Of course that is what anyone is going to want to do. Then you’ll want to be active in the community. Why would you want to be active in the community? Well for starters knowing other players is a great way to get grouping started along with the inevitable need to be in a clan. Well, finding people in game is a great start, but if there are so many people who play the game then the amount you interact with in-game would be small. So if you want to interact with a larger group of the community, then you’ll need to do so outside of the game itself. "
- New Year's Resolutions...D&D Style
" Over the years, I’ve made many a New Year’s resolution. I’m not going to tell you how the “lose weight” and “get more exercise” ones turned out, but suffice it to say I keep making that same resolution every year. I’ve come to the conclusion that New Year’s resolutions are one surefire way to plan failure and self-defeat. After all, those champagne-sodden promises we make and proclaim each January 1st are destined to be broken. "
- Guild Wars: New Year's Resolution
" I don’t make New Years Resolutions. If you can’t stick to a diet in June, what makes January any different? However, do I have a list of things that I would like to accomplish this year. I won’t call them resolutions. I’ll just call them steps in my master plan. "
- Lord of the Rings Online: New Year...New Game...New You."
- Hottest MMOG Releases of 2006
" Now that you've stumbled out of that drunken Christmas gluttony and all of the turkey sandwiches are consumed, it's time to look forward to what's coming up in the New Year. The pickings have been slim this year. I'm not saying that these are terrible games; they aren't. However, it's time for something fresh and something that will take us out of this box. The 2006 stocking looks like it's going to be bulging with a plethora of new games for us to devour. Will these new and shiny toys knock our socks off or will they end up on the shelf of dour disappointment? "
- Vanguard: Game Terms 101
" Are you new to MMOs or just a bit rusty on what all those terms mean? VTTH presents Game Terms 101 to help you decipher what is being said around you as you wander into Telon and other gaming worlds."
Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.
- Researchers Discover Largest Prime Number
Cure for cancer is still 9.1 million digits away.
- Feces In Mailboxes Stains New Year's Cards
Letter carriers feel flushed about their shitty jobs.
- U.S. Military Gets Radar That Sees Through Concrete
All speeding suicide bombers will now be ticketed.
As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin