Loading... January 12, 2006
My apologies for a missed day of Loading... yesterday, and for those of you on our MMOG mailing list who have patiently weathered a week of news blackout.. Our schedule and my need to sleep got in the way of my productivity. By the time I was able to sit down and make an attempt at Loading... on Wednesday it was 9pm and Jeff "Ethec" Woleslagle was leading me by the wallet to the craps table, an experience which is best described as a long spiral dive into a felt covered, money eating organism capable of eliciting the full spectrum of emotions from the people who choose to stand around it.
Today, or by the time this hits the site it will have become yesterday, was a momentous day for Loading...that is sure to be scribed in news stories far and wide. For today, or yesterday, you get the picture, Loading... became a member of the "Mile High Club". Yes indeedy folks, Loading... is being written from 37,000 feet on a teeny tray sprouting out of the seat in front of me aboard flight AC592.
As I write this, some pinheaded, loud-mouthed simpleton is yelling at the top of his lungs across the top of his seat at the passenger sitting next to me and howling like a Banshee for one of the stewards to come "Help him". Why you ask? Did the passenger beside me make an unfavourable comment about loud-mouth's parentage? Erhm, no. Did he repeatedly kick the dimwit's seat to the beat of "More Human Than Human" by Rob Zombie? Uhm, no. Did he reach between the seats, flick the man-boy's ear and exclaim, "You're it"? Hah, no. His crime is far more insidous than that my good readers. His long legs, obviously purchased in Las Vegas for this very specific and dastardly scheme make it difficult for the socially challenged rottweiler in front of him to recline his seat. The man is obviously a criminal genius, who has spent months nurturing his plan from being merely a twinkle in his eye until finally, yes finally, he was able to hatch his diabolical scheme making it impossible for the person in front of him to recline their seat. I eagerly await his attempted takeover of the plane's television system where he will pre-empt the latest box office failure to demand that the passenger give him "One Billion Dollars" while holding his pinky finger to the corner of his mouth. Failure to comply will result in him sitting behind each and every one of us forcing us to put our seats in the upright and our trays in the locked position. I figure it's either that or the guy who can't recline is a lunatic. I'll let you decide.
As with most of the travel done in this industry I am glad that it is over, though I always enjoy hanging out with the other editors and TenTonHammer.com staff. They are a humorous bunch which makes the downtime a lot more enjoyable. Hearing Phil "Ralphedelominus" Comeau scream out "Frost Shock!!!" as he throws the dice is one of those moments I will never forget, no matter how hard I try.
Our next excursion as a large group will be E3 where at least 13 of the editors will get together to interrogate the who's who of the MMOG industry. E3 seems so far away and yet there is so much to do to prepare for this event that it feels like we are already in a time crunch. Even with 10 contributing editors at the event, a publishing team in the media center and our management team on the show floor it will be impossible for us to cover every MMOG in the manner we would like.
So here it is, your chance to voice your opinion on what MMOGs you want on our "Must Cover" list. The usual suspects will be on the list including World of Warcraft, the Sony Online Entertainment stable, the NCSoft stable, Vanguard, the Perpetual Entertainment stable and the Turbine stable, but who else do you want us to interrogate on your behalf? We're not afraid to ask the tough questions and "Cake or Pie" is already set to fire and forget mode.
Let me know what games you are most interested in hearing about and I'll make sure that the list gets into the right hands.
TenTon Comic - I promise that this week I'll try to get you some new comics. My well is pretty dry at the moment, but I'll see what I can do. Until then, check out the pantload of comics we already have posted by clicking "Right Here ".
After much belly-aching, bantering, complaining and research it was decided at our meeting that Vin Diesel is really the best choice for Fact of the Day, though I could probably have reeled out enough facts about either Tom Cruise or Hillary Duff to fill a full year.
Vin Diesel Fact: When Vin Diesel drinks coffee the coffee gets jittery. [Thanks Michael Sun]
Game Movie: World of Warcraft: Beer - Two of our favourite things.
Here's what's new on the network!
- Dungeons and Dragons Online - 10 Days in Stormreach
" Being a dyed-in-the-wool fan of Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), I knew I was going to buy Dungeons and Dragons Online (DDO) when it came out, so I preordered a copy when it was available. I received the 10-Day Beta pass, and after installing the client, logged on to play. "
- Guild Wars - Armor 101: Crafting For Beginners
" Almost all the major MMORPGs on the market feature a crafting system. Allowing players to have a hand in building their own equipment, crafting is a popular addition the standard role-playing video game. When done well, it adds a new layer of depth and involvement for players. "
- Vanguard: Cindy's Wedding
" In the same year that Charles, Prince of Wales, married his long-time sweetheart, Camilla Parker Bowles, the Vanguard community had its own fairytale wedding. On December 17, 2005, our own princess, Cindy Bowens, eloped with her Spanish prince, Kumar Daryanani, better known to us as Destral. "
- EverQuest 2: The Kingdom Awaits - What to expect in the EQ2 Expansion
" KoS brings us lots of new goodies; quests, zones, armor, rewards, etc. For those that are already in the upper levels, having new places to explore, and fun new things to do, is very exciting. One of the worst things about MMO's is getting burned out on content too quickly, and keeping expansions coming regularly is always a welcomed move, however, is it a little too soon? "
- EverQuest 2: Lore and Legend Quests Updated
" You know you want to complete these... read on."
- World of Warcraft - Travel Routes Guide
" Many towns aren't situated along the same flight route, making it a little tricky to navigate the flight route system at times. It's not pretty, but here's what towns link to each other with flight routes, by faction and by continent, so you can figure out the fastest way from point A to point B. I encourage you to check out the Transportation Guide for more info on the various forms of transit."
Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.
- Taiwan Breeds Transgenic, Fluorescent, Green Pig
Armies of lime coloured swine being trained to repel the inevitable Chinese invasion.
- Hubble Panoramic View of Orion Nebula Reveals Thousands of Stars
Tom Cruise demanding top billing.
- Symantec Admits Rootkit Usage
Soon we'll need anti-virus to keep the anti-virus guys out.
- Canada's Oil Supply to Top Saudi Arabia's
First we control the water supply, then the oil. American invasion plans commence.
- World Penis Sizes
French are the biggest dicks.
- Chinese Claim They Invented Golf
Apparently the Chinese were holding their sticks and balls 500 years before the Scots were.
As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin