Updated Thu, Dec 13, 2012 by Shayalyn
Heart broken: Jeffprime
One of the many games that broke my heart was one that I looked forward to for many years--Duke Nukem Forever. I was an insanely addicted player of Duke Nukem 3D and spent many nights with the game until the cold light of dawn filtered through my windows. When a sequel was announced, I eagerly waited for its release...and waited....and waited....and waited. More than a decade later, long after it had become a standard vaporware joke, Duke Nukem Forever was finally released. And I wish it hadn't been.
Duke Nukem Forever is the Highlander II of computer games, a sequel that should never have seen the light of day. The original Duke Nukem was fast-paced, brutal fun as you mowed down hordes of enemies to the tune of over-the-top macho humor. I was hoping for a similar experience with Duke Nukem Forever, but alas. The game's intro gets you pumped for some bad-ass FPS action, but then the game actually starts and it all goes downhill.
The action in Duke Nukem Forever moves at a glacial pace, without any energy or excitement. I think you actually get more action playing games like The Sims. It gets even lamer when you realize that you switch back and forth between two weapons. You're supposed to be loaded with an arsenal of destruction in shooters, and being relegated to two weapons is like being told you can only have salad at the all-you-can-eat buffet. The level design is pathetic and the game simply drags. You should be running and gunning, but instead you lurch from checkpoint to checkpoint. There are some interesting ideas, such as the R/C cars, but the execution of those are so badly handled that they serve only to further leech any enjoyment out of the game.
Overall, Duke Nukem Forever is a total mess. The PvP is somewhat decent and recent DLCs have added additional maps, but that means you'll be shelling out even more money for a game that's incredibly lackluster. Oh, why couldn't they let Duke stay in the past and always be remembered fondly as a kick-ass game? I’d liken Duke Nukem Forever to having a favorite boxer come out of retirement only to have to painfully sit and watch as he gets pummeled in the ring.