Ten Ton Hammer - Taking MMO Gamers to the Next Level!

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Welcome to the middle of the week. Are you looking forward to the weekend or back at the days you whittered away trying to get to your next milestone? Here's a tip, logout of World of Warcraft once or twice and productivity will skyrocket.
Managers everywhere must scratch their heads on Tuesdays when productivity hits its weekly peak. World of Warcraft patch day is becoming the most productive day of the work-week. A work-week that is one day short for many of you with an Easter holiday, Good Friday, only two days away.
Good Friday, Easter, a time when families get together and hand out chocolate eggs. Drag your kids away from those violent video games. You know the games I'm referring to; the ones that are causing children to have nightmares and that promote smoking. Perhaps they are playing games that are causing cancer? Whatever they are playing we know it's bad, unless it's a massively multiplayer online game in which case it is good. There is no grey area.
Once they are away from the computer or the XBox, just sit them down and raise their spirits with the story of Easter. You know the one, where we take a man, drive nails through his hands and feet and essentially staple him to a huge, heavy, wooden cross that he is then forced to carry to a spot where we drive it into the ground and leave him hanging until he dies. That will brighten their spirits and drive away all the ugliness that those video games are injecting into the kids.
If they cry, tell them not to worry. The man we just killed in most horrific manner will respawn in two more days.
If you don't want to do that then there is always Auto Assault.
Questions or comments? (.mp3 format if you want bonus points in the swag give away) Send them in.

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What's New On TenTonHammer.com?
Let us entertain you or at the very least waste some of your time at work.
04.12.2006

• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Swiss Army Knife - Ranger Tactics
  "Gone are the days when all a ranger did was hang back and plunk arrows at enemies. In Dungeons & Dragons Online, the ranger is a one of the most versatile of classes, a veritable Swiss army knife who can serve as a scout, a ranged combatant, a back-up healer and buffer, and even a respectable melee fighter in a pinch. Aelasyl takes time out from DDO to offer his guide to ranger tactics."
• Vanguard: Rain and Roses - Part 2
  "An innocent comment finds Wil feigning off an onslaught of punches. What could have transpired to boil Renna's blood so? Find out in Part II of Rain and Roses."

04.11.2006

• EverQuest 2: Fan Faire Coverage Part 1
  "RadarX heads to the 2006 SOE Fan Faire to sit among those god-like developers and discuss issues effecting EverQuest 2.   What is on their minds, and where is the game heading?  Why was Radar almost late to the first meeting?  These and more exciting questions are answered here."
• Auto Assault: Terminator Skill Listing Update
  "Those Biomek tough guys sure do have a lot to bolster theirartillery! The Terminator skill listing here at Auto Assault –TenTonHammer has been updated with information from the live game."
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Enter the Halfling - Part 4
  "The next installment of our weekly Dungeons & Dragons Online comedy serial finds Cailag imprisoned by Clan Tunnelworm, with
  little hope of rescue before his time runs out. Will Preston, and the dwarf-for-hire, Nord, find Cailag in time; or will Cailag find a way to free himself? And what was that prisoner shouting about the Seal of Shan To Kor?"
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Boredom Busters
  "Find it hard to keep grinding away in the same area? Tired of weilding that short sword or dagger? Why not try some of Merriandra's suggestions in Boredom Busters."

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Vin Diesel Fact of the Day: To Vin Diesel laws are just "suggestions".

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Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.
Yet, another big round of clap to Matt for sending in these headlines.

• German Sues Easter Bunny
  Bunny countersues for racial discrimination, notes goose-stepping.
• Kentucky Set To Outlaw Internet Hunting
  Fighting dangerous man-eating animals like deer will have to be done in person now.
• Laundromat Thief Took Cameras, Forgot Videotape
  Paris Hilton DNA rears it's ugly double helix yet again.
• Prison Officer Disciplined For Showing Brokeback Mountain to Inmates
  Scenes of violence and sexuality obviously not suitable for criminals.
• Man Charged For Mailing Live Tarantula
  
  No word on what he mailed to the tarantula.
  

As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin