PotBS - Why You Should Chew Your Food

In perhaps the funniest piece I've read in a long time, Woodrodius explains why you should chew your steak. Now locked in the gaze of both my CEO, some attentive restaurant patrons, and the interns, (who were watching an art position open up before their very eyes) Bruce and I rose, and our heroic art director positioned himself to administer his first Heimlich maneuver. The first thrust was unsuccessful. I heaved forward, and felt sickening pressure on my abdomen, pretty much the worst imaginable stimuli one can receive after a large meal. With this initial motion failing to dislodge the tasty globe from gullet, I began to have some genuine concern. Was this it? Was I going to die choking on steak and not making-out to death with supermodels as had been my previous guess? Would Greg be able to tastefully wait two months before he started making jokes about the manner of my demise, whilst validating it as “part of the healing process”? What of my bug list? Would they all go unresolved? Was this to be the end of Woody? You have to read the rest of this devlog. Don't eat or drink anything first. My monitor and keyboard are giving me baleful glares as I type this.

In perhaps the funniest piece I've read in a long time, Woodrodius explains why you should chew your steak.

Now locked in the gaze of both my CEO, some attentive restaurant patrons, and the interns, (who were watching an art position open up before their very eyes) Bruce and I rose, and our heroic art director positioned himself to administer his first Heimlich maneuver. The first thrust was unsuccessful. I heaved forward, and felt sickening pressure on my abdomen, pretty much the worst imaginable stimuli one can receive after a large meal. With this initial motion failing to dislodge the tasty globe from gullet, I began to have some genuine concern. Was this it? Was I going to die choking on steak and not making-out to death with supermodels as had been my previous guess? Would Greg be able to tastefully wait two months before he started making jokes about the manner of my demise, whilst validating it as “part of the healing process”? What of my bug list? Would they all go unresolved?

Was this to be the end of Woody?

You have to read the rest of this devlog. Don't eat or drink anything first. My monitor and keyboard are giving me baleful glares as I type this.

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