Wonder Woman Busted at E3!

E3 Security - "nothing to see here .. move along ... no ass cheek wiggling here - move along"

Controversy erupted at the Media Centre Thursday morning as E3 Security converged from all points on the compass in response to an urgent "Code Pink". Backup was urgently needed. Guards in light blue barked into their walkie talkies as their chubby legs propelled them wheezing towards the scene. A subversive element had infiltrated the facility. The threat was real, the situation urgent. This was no drill!

The target? Wonder Woman.

And she had to be taken out.

Their jaws set with grim determination, E3 Security cordoned off the area - no media and no pictures allowed. Clearly there was some sort of cover up going on. Ten Ton Hammer was immediately at the scene, and our journalistic integrity impelled us to get the bottom of the story.

But despite the media blackout, details began to reveal themselves. Rumors, then whispers and finally confirmation - Wonder Woman was showing too much ass cheek.

Earlier that morning, Wonder Woman had managed to evade detection by blending in with the usual crowd of exhibitors, booth babes and bleary media as they made their way to their assigned posts. Bags were searched. ID's were checked. But for some reason - and the investigation continues - the E3 Ass Cheek Detector had malfunctioned.

Sabotage? Perhaps. Someone working on the inside? Possibly. Disgruntled security turning a blind eye in return for the promise of favors to come? Likely.

But the fact remained that E3 was now face to face with Wonder Woman's ass - and all that implied. E3 was getting anal about its new dress code.

Wonder Woman is given the bum's rush by E3 Security.

On the phone to the Justice League - "Batman, c'mon - pickup! You gotta get down here and save my ass, man..."

She was surrounded by E3 personnel in the Media Centre. As the Ass Swat team circled, their crack ass cheek negotiator was called in. The first step - create a dialogue, get Wonder Woman talking, get her tired. And then - take her out. "There's nothing wrong with my ass!", Wonder Woman explained to the thong throng. We craned our neck to verify her claim, as demanded by the journalistic canon.

As she warmed to her theme, we attempted to take a newsworthy photograph or two. We were blocked by what appeared to be a female security person. The security part we’re sure of though. Holding up one hand to cover our camera lens, she brandished her credentials in the other.

"Don't do that!" the Orc Security madam demanded, "that's just what she wants!"

"And if she's showing too much ass, it's pretty much what we want, too", we skillfully argued. Our logic fell on deaf hairy ears.

Notwithstanding Wonder Woman's entreaties, she was given the bum's rush to the rear doors and informed, at the end of a number of wagging fingers that, if she returned, she would be charged with trespassing. "Get out and stay out!" was the message as the doors closed forever behind her behind. She was out on her ass.

It wasn't a cleavage issue says E3. But we just thought we'd check and make sure.

Kasey appears topless on her talk show. Why is she still wearing her top? Why, why, why dammit! Where are the topics?

Wonder Woman decries E3 decision. Calls for "Boobs not Bombs". Runs for topless President.

Was this anyway to treat a charter member of the League of Justice? Why didn’t she use her Golden Lasso? Where was Batman? Was he showing too much Bat-Bulge?

Of course, Warner Bros. Games, who operate the Justice League franchise, and who have a presence at E3, have trademarks and copyrights up and past the wazoo, probably had no role in the decision to boot the booty of our cheeky imposter.

TenTonHammer being sympathetic to her cause, we arranged for an exclusive interview - to present her tail for all to see, if you will.

We selected a location, suitably off-premises, for what we hoped would turn out to be a tongue in cheek interview.

Her name is Kasey Poteet. Thirty six years old, she lives in LA. And she loves to dress as Wonder Woman.

Ten Ton Hammer asked her how she discovered her calling.

"Wow! Well, I'm a big comic geek - I host a comic book show for MusicPlus (which is what I'm here for). Also, when I do public events, I wear costumes. I've worn this costume before and I chose it for this event because they have big posters of Wonder Woman in there. In fact, I wore longer pants just to be on the safe side."