To get my hands on a Wii...
Updated Mon, Nov 10, 2008 by Coyote
I want to play with a Wii.
I want to hold it. Caress it.
Shake it too and fro in grasped hand as my eyes roll back in sheer pleasure from all the enjoyment that playing with a Wii can bring. Games, fun, distraction to the point where you never even begin to wonder where the phrase to and fro came from. I WANT to be Wii-fit, I want to be a Wii-Jedi, and I want to use my Wii controller as a zombie slicing fire axe of doom.
So breaking down, I decided to go out and buy a Wii. And foolishly, I thought it would be that simple.
I marched into Gamestop with a fist full of dreams wrapped around a bunch of wadded bills that would ensure me my prize. I would finally buy a console, my kids would stop complaining that the Super Nintendo doesn't work right and sucks, and I would become a hybrid PC / Console gamer. Moving to the counter I grinned at my newly discovered friend "Trevor" and requested a Wii, like those that they have advertised in the window.
Only to find out, that they were sold out.
"They go fast man. One guy bought like eight of them." Trevor told me as he popped the collar on his shirt as only a guy named Trevor can. Which was weird because as Trevor-like as that move is, his shirt didn't HAVE a collar.
Still, it pissed me off.
It is one thing to be denied my Wii because I fall to the numbers of purposely dwindled supply and demand - but to be robbed my chance to become Wii-fit because some asshat trying to make a buck is bogarting all of the consoles? He was probably selling them all on eBay and making a fortune.
Needless to say, I started to get grumpy. Sure the guy had every right to buy 8 Wii consoles. If he had the money and they were for sale, it was his RIGHT to buy them - but damn it.
I want one TOO.
It's almost two years later and you still can't get a Wii in stores. And as the holidays draw ever closer, it is going to get even HARDER. Which brings me to the question of:
Why.
WHY can I still not find a Wii available to me at any store with 100 mile radius of my current location? This isn't an exaggeration, or a trumped up number that I created in order to express my point.
This is truth.
This is fact.
This is, and it pains me beyond belief to say it, research.
That's right, Nintendo made me do research.
Those bastards.
At first it was for selfish gain. The stores I had visited in my daily trek were sold out, and I really wanted a Wii. So when we finally made it home I started calling other locations, further and further out of the blast radius that is centered on my home. Best Buy, Circuit City, Game Stop, EB Games, Target, Wal-Mart, K-Mart (Now the hip "Big K", because the bigger your K the cooler you are), all of the major players that might carry a Nintendo Wii, and all of them sold out in every location that I would reasonably drive to.
Which admittedly was getting less and less reasonably as I fell prey to the "must have it because I can't" which was responsible for driving this shopping nightmare in the first place. Like so many of the masses, I was starting to get a bit frantic because I was denied the seemingly harmless purchase that I wanted to make. I'm calling a Target over 90 miles away in a town I've never HEARD of and trying to justify the drive to myself as I wait on hold and rock out to "Take on me" by Aha.
"Well gas prices have come down."
"It's only like driving to work three times. Hell I do that every WEEK."
"I wonder if he left ink smears on her walls when he was ping ponging off of them and trying to escape the comic book world. That would be a bitch to clean up."
Finally after a minute or so on hold that seemed much longer as I mimicked slamming across the walls of my hall way and was ordered to "cut it out you retard" by the ever supportive Missus, the bubbly happy cheery Target Employee picked up the phone and informed me that they were sold out. Sensing my dismay and disappointment by carefully weighing every possible meaning of the "F-word" that I was using the store clerk tried to cheer me up by letting me know that they have a ton of Wii peripherals and games if I was interested, instead.
I was not.
Because I don't have a Wii.
And the only thing WORSE than not having a Wii would be not having a Wii but having a ton of Wii peripherals that I can't use except as a reminder that I don't have a Wii. So giving up on a locally purchased console, I turned to the only place that I could think of for solace.
The internet.
THE INTERNET would have a Wii! The internet has EVERYTHING! If the internet could supply me with porn from SEVERAL sites that satisfies my granny clown midget tranny amputee balloon popping tickle fetish, surely it could find me a Wii! Hell, probably even CHEAPER that the $250 bucks that they stores advertise!
So after a few hours of watching cross dressing dwarves pop balloons with their mangled stumps, I started scouring the dark corners of the internet. And do you know what I found?
EBAY!
All of the normal sites were "out of stock" or selling the Wii for up to two and a half times the store price, (Seriously. Check google.) which I wasn't going to pay, but eBay had consoles GALORE! Consoles bought in bulk at the stores that I was trying to buy on from by asshats trying to make a buck.
And making a buck they were.
I'm talking hand over fist.
They'd buy a console and an extra controller, "bundle it" as a console with extra controller and get, sadly, four to five hundred bucks for a product that came out almost two years ago yet still aren't readily available.
And as much as I want one, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't justify spending 150 to 200 dollars more than I'd pay retail for a console that I wanted JUST so that I could be a Jedi, or make old ladies to beat up in Wii boxing. It wasn't worth the added expense, I'm sure that they'll be available when the NEXT incarnation of the Wii comes out, and besides...
...Missus Coyote would f***ing KILL me.
So here I sit. Wii-less. No Wii. A man without a Wii.
Wii-neutered.
And I only have one person to blame for it.
Damn you eBay, damn you to hell.
I'm going back on Thursday, and if I see a guy buying eight of them? I'm jumping him in the parking lot and beating him to death with the Super Nintendo.
-Coyote
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Hey coyote if you can't find a wii out by you let me know there is a walmart out here that almost always has them in stock because it's in ht middle of no where.
Sheesh, what kinda 3rd world country are you living in?!
My missus went out and bought Wii Dance Mat something last night, for our Wii, which we've had ages, and as her and the mini witches came in through the door I was told in no uncertain terms I was NOT allowed to have a go, and I was NOT to try and impress the kids friends on it.
/sigh
Still, least I have a Wii!
I dont get why anyone would pay the bulk buying morons prices. Dont buy them, they get burnt, the status quo returns.
Glad you got home ok Dar. Hurk was dreaming about you grabbing his ass again. Hopefully next time he won't get so excited that he dribbles cobbler on himself again. :)
His Wii dreams shattered.
White plastic envy grows.
We laugh into the night!
Sorry, was just thinking of a haiku for you while I Wii fitted :)
There once were limmericks on the blog
Which stunk like a really big dog.
While relationships they mend,
It started a horrid trend,
And everyone loves the Log.
Bah, not at all :)
I figured it was silliness and accidental.
All the local dept and game stores around here stay sold out... but I got mine at Blockbusters... because I think that at least the speculators don't bother to shop there.
Erus
We even have wii's aplenty here in good ol blighty.
But yes i do agree with you on the ebay front, people are selling wii's and wii fit for stupid prices on there when you cant get them anywhere else.
Hey Coyote...I have a Wii and you know how much I paid for it?
Do ya?
I paid $0
That's right zero as in FREE. I won it in a raffle that I didn't buy tickets for because I got a handful of free tickets at the door that they didn't remember to charge me entry for.
So while I'm Wii-Fitting and Wii-sporting and force-choking people to my heart's content...
...I'll think of you...
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem, but couldn't you just go to like Walmart.com or Amazon.com or something and have one shipped to you?
*strokes his Wii*
It's hell, isn't it? Being... deprived.
Loads in the shops here. Want me to mail one over to you? (How many dollars to the pound now? Still around 2?)
Yes Alama it's still right ariound 2.
Poor Coy. That's what you get ya commie traitor ;)
I have a friend who works at Wal-Mart and she knows when the shipment comes in, only thing is so does half the people around and they are standing outside waiting for them. I want one as well, thus I plan on making hurk be one of those people standing outside. He found the console, 2 controllers, and the sports game package for like $357 online, which is just insane.
Simple solution but it does require patience. if you are a member of cheapassgamer read the video forum to see the coming weeks newspaper sales. If it is on sale at either target/Circuit City/Best Buy, then show up sunday morning at opening. I got mine that way with minimal fuss/muss.
I wandered into the local Circuit City and scored one on my first attempt. You must be a loser, Coyote.
I will pay cash money for pics of Shipwreck on a Wii-fit.
That is all.
Hey Pffy, which one is that? I've been thinking of getting a Wii.
I borrowed one from a coworker whose kids wouldn't bother with it; played around and found it to be disappointing, the games are very simplistic (turn of the century) and most of the challenge comes from operating the powerglo... err Wii stick.
It's the super Walmart in Albion. it would be a hike for you most likly lok, seeing how it's about a 30min drive for me to get to that one.
Coyote Says:
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:26 am
I will pay cash money for pics of Shipwreck on a Wii-fit.
That is all.
***************************************************************
I will also pay cash for said pictures
There once was a Coy from Syracuse
Whose Wii-less-ness was causing him blues
He scoured the stores
And online he searched more
Sorry good sir, but you lose!
There once was a man named Dar,
Who taunted the Coyote from a-far.
He sorely lacked in his prose,
To rhyme he turned up his nose,
And then I kicked him in the balls.
I have Wii Fit. It is awesome!
Haiku run 5, 7, 5
Yet Alma ran 5,6,6
So inside I cried.
It's Log! It's Log! It's Big! It's Heavy! It's Wood!
It's Log! It's Log! It's better than bad, it's good!
And seriously, check my blog for lack of posting apologies.
Here we go again
Everyone talking in pros
Brain hurts from thinking
Coy mocks bad haikus
Yet posts 7,7,5
Calls poems "prose", too
Check the target ad online for your zipcode late Saturday night. If the wii, or wii fit, is featured they'll have some in stock when they open Sunday morning. I got the wii and the fit that way from the Fayetteville Target near Syracuse.
*translated from Binary by Coyote*
Remember to be gentle with your wii.
mwahahaha
*note* Danniable, no breaking bloggy thing by going sick with the scrollin' binary.
The natives are restless and want blood, but the gods are merciful and we deny them your head fer breakin' the encoding 'cause they all use crappy browsers.
*end Coyote note*
Overrated Wiis
Selling on Ebay right now
Why would you buy one?
Seriously though...I have thought from the beginning that the entire Wii thing was a gimmick; look at me, look at me, I'm a controller that you can wave! You can't play DVDs on it (a must for me as I use my consoles to play them when I'm not watching on my computer), it has graphics from the Middle Ages, and it's overhyped. Granted it would probably be fun to play for a little while, but even my old NES has an Olympics game and a running pad. Get that+Powerglove and you have a Wii for most intents and purposes.
Why Foozle?
Force unleashed.
Resident Evil 5
Wii fit.
Resistance is futile.
Sorry about that, I couldn't resist. I figured your comments would be smart enough to wrap the text, but I guess not. This morning a buddy and I were sending binary messages back and forth, guess it's just one of those moods you get in. Must be that time of month =/
Damn. Foiled by numbers AGAIN!!
*nerf arithmetic*!!!
@Foozle
True, but you could say much the same about all consoles. Why bother? They're just gimmicks. PCs without the monitors or keyboards... In fact the whole computer gaming thing, it's a gimmick. We managed perfectly fine with pencils and paper back in the day....
/pets Wii
Don't you listen to the scary lady, SquiiWii. (She's not getting one for her birthday now ;) )
the best way to get a wii is from gamestop.. but online
http://www.gamestop.com/Catalog/ProductDetails.aspx?product_id=75070
What they do it they make a pretty good bundle, and then do a first come first serve kind of thing. Most of the time you'll get a Wii, some time they'll say they ran out, just wait tell they put a new preorder date and try again. Most of my friends have been able to get a wii from them this way pretty quickly. (i got mine that way as well).
It keeps me warm at night....
I LOVE HAIKU'S!!!!
Darkness fills my heart
* URGH *
...... .... ... ....
We have a Wii (just rubbing it in a bit)
Bought it at Target; the trick is to ask when the next shipment is and get there early. I had 10 people in line in front of me, we each got one. I considered buying a bunch and then taking advantage of people by selling them on eBay but I didn't.
When all else fails, shop at Blockbuster.. Mine has both the Wii, and Wii Fit...