Gears of War 2: Sank by PIRATES
Updated Mon, Nov 10, 2008 by Coyote
I wasn't a fan of Gears of War.
The whole "alien war" genre with the gritty and tough Mercenary with an attitude saving the day has just gotten old.
We get it.
He's tough and mean and doesn't follow orders but when push comes to shove that's who you want fighting the war for you. He's misunderstood and even though he's going against orders and ignoring his commanding officers in the end he was right and THAT is why we are alive and not poking out the poop shoot of an three eyed alien cow. WE GET IT.
Of course, in the real world this would never happen. He'd be court marshaled and sent to jail and stuck behind bars he'd be an easy meal for an army of Martian cockroaches or whatever they send to clean out the jail cells. And even if he DID escape he'd still be killed because no one keeps a big trunk unlocked trunk full of weapons 11 feet from a prison full of war criminals.
But I digress.
So when the original gears of war finally made it to PC - I wasn't impressed. There were just too many controls to attempt comfortably with a keyboard, the mappings were a nightmare, the "duck and cover and hide behind" technology was a nausea inducing bob-and-weave through every level and the entire game felt CLUNKY. I didn't enjoy playing it, I didn't connect with any of the cookie-cutter characters, and I HATE blowing away aliens and monsters that have no realistic basis more than anything.
I don't care how tough you are, a pop to the head with a shotgun should kill you, or at least make you stop and think about your current situation before the symbiote that controls your corpse like a giant meat puppet sends you back into battle. No one should just shrug it off with a spray of blood from unseen wounds because they're on a higher level than other game characters.
You should ALWAYS have that hope of a head shot ruining a bad guy's day.
So I didn't care for Gears of War, which I've been told by the Halo crowd makes me "old" and someone who should "go back to playing Pac-man".
Kids.
And now Gears of War II has been announced, and while I had no intention of ever playing, trying, or buying the game - that is no longer a worry that I need to consider, because I'm a PC gamer.
And Gears of War II will *NOT* be coming to the PC.
Because of filthy pirates.
Cliff Bleszinski, lead game designer for Epic games had this to say...
"Here's the problem right now; the person who is savvy enough to want to have a good PC to upgrade their video card, is a person who is savvy enough to know bit torrent to know all the elements so they can pirate software. Therefore, high-end videogames are suffering very much on the PC."
...
...That's right! If you are smart enough to know that your computer might not handle the next and newest game release, you're smart enough to steal the game! Wanting a better computer makes you a Pirate so Ipso Facto, anyone who KNOWS that the computer can't handle a game is just going to steal it anyway.
So why bother to make it for a platform that is just going to steal it anyway, right?
WRONG. And this is why I hate the current views on Piracy so frigging much.
I know Pirates. I know people who illegally download video games, burn them to DVD and play them without EVER purchasing the game, or having intention of purchasing the game. I know people who have entire COLLECTIONS of games that have been pirated and what's more...
THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL CONSOLE GAMERS!
The Myth that ending computer gaming will end computer piracy is just retarded. The biggest pirates I know are the least tech SAVVY people that I know. They get a mod chip installed in their console, get thrown a few sites that have the downloads and burn their own modded versions of the CONSOLE games for CONSOLE.
The only involvement on the PC is actually getting the games for the console.
High End Videogames are suffering on the very much on the PC, not because of Piracy - but because PC's are a pain in the ass to make games for. Different cards, different setups, operating systems, system parameters - all of these things have to be taken into consideration and addressed so that a shrinking playerbase has the least amount of issue possible in installing your product.
Wherein if you have a console game, you make the game for one platform, one setup, and NO one has a problem unless your game is flawed.
Say what it is - don't take a cop out and blame the anonymous Boogeyman Pirates (Side note to rant, Boogeyman Pirates would make an awesome band name) for ruining it for everyone. Put the blame where it truly lies, with the pain in the ass mechanics.
Saying that someone who knows that their computer needs an upgrade is someone inclined to pirate software is like saying that someone who wants a faster car is more inclined to be the get away driver when robbing a bank.
Stop making criminals out of the minority among gamers and spreading fear and blame and lies as reason for your actions. Tell the TRUTH: Gears of Wars II will not make it to PC because Gears of War I SUCKED and got horrible scores.
Luckily for me, I had no intention of playing the game at all. Still, the above statement slapping back some of the blame to the PC gamer because of the easily accusable phantom pirates was just frigging lame.
PC gaming offers the TRUE gamer things that console gaming simply cannot. Things like:
* Better Graphics
* Extended Game Play and Replay Value
* Privacy When Looking At Really Weird Internet Porn
Kinda hard to get your spank on in the family room on the Wii, isn't it? No one wants to look at boobs with Grandma napping on the couch behind them.
BEHOLD! I give to you the salvation of PC Gaming and the ONE thing that will keep games on the computer where they belong.
Porn.
Is there ANYTHING it can't do?
-Coyote
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A pirate music video for you Coyote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTnT3DfQyrw it includes a woman getting whipped and seeming to enjoy it.
Pope, Cerdion, I hope you guys are happy.
*shudders incontrolably*
I agree that the only video game "pirates" I've known are console gamers.
I love the "get off my lawn" lolcat and the pirate hello kitty so you get five stars!
i dont think porn can clean your house, do your washing, cook meals, raise kids and a host of other things.
But since that's generally already supplied, your right, nothing porn can't do!
The Hello Kitty Pirate was for Taea :)
As for calling my bluff on the Potter stuff - seriously, why?
Nebbeny, porn CAN clean your house, do your washing, and cook meals. IF you're with a porn star! As for raising kids, porn's been doing that for years! Hooray Porn!
Coy, we call for the Potter stuff because we thinks it's fun to irritate the Potter fanatics. And since we don't have the material or the audience base to do it ourselves, we'll be happy antagonists.
The "piracy hurt game sales" excuse is only going to get them so far and when GoW 2 sales barely break profitable it'll be the fault of economy or anything else they can blame it on.
Dude why the Potter Porn? Why?
Why Potter porn? cause Coyote knows what he likes and likes what he knows . . . now where is the Emma Watson p0rn?
Ugh....this rant does hit home for me. Pirates are ruining things. I cant go sailing with out being boarded, looted, and placed in uncomfortable holding sells with my first mate Kyle, and I cant play video games cause they are stealing things on the high seas.
I can count on 2 hands the number of people I know who pirate PC software, but i need to take off both shoes to count to the number of people that pirate console games. The reality of the whole thing is that if it weren't for thing like "Dvds" and "Burners" we wouldnt have problems like this. I don't think people would go through the trouble of downloading a cracked version of "Ball-in-a-cup". Just my opinion.
Loved the Kitty Pirate, Coy. Good Stuff.
Oh, and Radar? Giddy up!
Coyote Says:
September 30th, 2008 at 8:04 am
The Hello Kitty Pirate was for Taea
__________
Dude, that's perfect. She's going to have that on a banner flying over her house.
Oh, and I meant to beat you senseless for the "Ironic" references yesterday, but didn't have time. So when you get home from work today, hit yourself in the face with a shovel a couple times.
S
Like rain on your wedding day Sandor...
Like rain on your wedding day.
I'd just like to point out that is NOT potter porn, thats an actual still from Equus, which has made its way to the uneducated shores of the USA.
Coyote is showing some culteral leanings there, stop being so narrowminded sheesh.
That aside, heh, good call. Stupid console players stopping us from getting games to play like Gears of .... oh wait, yay console players! /hugs
Nebbeny Says:
September 30th, 2008 at 8:02 am
i dont think porn can clean your house, do your washing, cook meals, raise kids and a host of other things.
But since that’s generally already supplied, your right, nothing porn can’t do!
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when they finally perfect that cherry 2000 android it will.
A free ride when you already paid....
Wow we asked for horse porn and got a pg version. You totaly wussed out! Krith would be ashamed!
I was actually one of the technically inclined PC Pirates. I probably wouldn't admit that, but I doubt Rockstar is going to come after me _now_ about downloading GTA3 5 years ago.
You know what got me to stop? Stuff like Steam. Turns out I wasn't actually opposed to paying money for games, I was opposed to having to drive around and go to the dungeons of the unwashed and socially inept (known as video game stores) on the off chance they were going to have some in stock. Sure, you've been able to order games from Amazon.com for forever, but they take a week to get to you. I was a mini-Caligula. "I want Half-Life and I want it today, and I don't want to have to leave this chair to get it". So I'd steal it. Once game developers started offering known-good virus-free copies just as fast as I could download them from their high-bandwidth million dollar servers, I was happy to pull out the credit card. In fact, I've even gone back and legally purchased some games I had previously stolen (Postal 2 being the most recent example - you pay $19.99 and can download the game from their website).
What it comes down to is that PC gamers that are technical enough to keep their system updated and configure games to run on it EXPECT GAME COMPANIES TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF 21ST CENTURY CONVENIENCES. Epic Games used Gears of War to intentionally snub the Steam distribution system - because Microsoft has a ridiculous DRM scheme they've deluded themselves into thinking is a competing product. So Gears of War got trapped in a hole where it couldn't get distributed on Steam, and Microsoft's Games for Windows couldn't distribute _anything_ yet (and STILL can't - supposedly the "Marketplace" is going to be available by November - but so far, instead of implementing that crucial feature, they spent 2 years futzing with a magazine before realizing their customers don't read anything on paper anymore [and use derisive terms for printed media, like 'dead tree edition'] and getting a Windows logo on the front of a bunch of game boxes [hint: the boxes shouldn't exist in the first place]). It would've been enough to kill even a _great_ game. And I wouldn't be surprised at all if it drove a lot of people to piracy.
So saying "we didn't make any money because of the pirates" is the same thing as saying "we didn't make any money, because we don't understand our customer base".
Coyote & all, i have intresting news for you all.... A.Warhammer Online, pain in the ass to install, or atleast for me cause im sitting on 2 blank warhammer discs....
B. I LOVE TORRENTS!... which is the only war i could get WAR to install correctly....dam disk2 error....
Ps: quote from someones tech support yesterday... Me: is it possible to download online?
Tech: yes if you can somehow find it, with all the files...
the reading between the lines is that the company walks a double standard.....
Boogeyman Pirates would be a good name for a band. But what genre eh. Sounds like some kinda techno blues combi. I always fancied managing a punk band called The Peroxides. But I don't know how to, or any punk musicians.
Oh, and that Alanis Morisette song. Only ironic thing about it is the title. The lyrics don't include one "ironic thing", just a series of "unfortunate" ones.
So ner.
What's a console game ?
@Wyrmy "Boogeyman Pirates" makes me think of some sort of Animal Crossing game. In fact, WHY isn't there a Boogeyman Pirates game? For my DS? NOWWW!!! WANT!
@Coy - "sunk by pirates" surely?