Updated Mon, Nov 10, 2008 by Coyote
Or is it the OLD new Star Trek movie?
I dunno, I get confused easily - but no matter how you slice it, another one is coming, it's coming quickly...and there has been little chatter about it.
ESPECIALLY given the fact that they have a nice little teaser trailer up.
Now as a member of the Geek Royalty, (I defy you to dispute the fact that I am a Royal Geek) I have no other choice than to be a Star Trek fan. Not knowing Star Trek would mean that I would miss an infinite number of inside jokes and references, miss out on connecting even more deeply with my peers, and most importantly of all...
...be robbed of the opportunity to flip up my cell phone while pretending it is a communicator and striking a dramatic Kirk pose.

Which as you already know, we've all done.
Don't bother denying it.
And while I am a fan of both the original and its spin-offs, I in no way consider myself a "hardcore" Trekkie or Trekker or whatever the freaks call themselves. Still, even with my knowledge of Star Trek floating around in my library of all things geek, I'm amazed that no one has brought up or pointed out the above trailer or the CAST list for the movie that debuts next May.
I mean LOOK at this list!
Cast
Captain James T. Kirk - Chris Pine

...okay
I've never heard of him, so I can't get really excited. But he's got that whole Dawson's Creek thing going on so ...
...
....wow. This isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I just hope he doesn't sing that "I don't wanna wait" song and brood through the whole movie in front of a moonlit lake as he talks to Uhura about his feelings.
...
Moving RIGHT along.
Spock - Zachary Quinto

OH YEAH BABY! SYLAR REPRESENTING!
How cool is that?! Aside from already looking like an alien or serial killer, or constipated Vulcan, he's already got some geek cred going for him from Heroes.
Plus? IT IS SYLAR! So like when he "mind melds" instead of just slapping down a sweaty palm on your kisser and spreading his fingers into a "V" he cuts off the top of your head with telekinesis and pokes around in your thinking jelly in order to logically solve your problems.
And while I know that this doesn't technically follow any path in any series - I hope that by the end of the movie Spock realizes the potential in Kirk and acknowledges his role as Alpha Male. And then he cuts off Kirk's skull lid and pokes around in HIS brain before becoming the TRUE Captain of the enterprise.
Because...yeah baby. Sylar.
Scotty - Simon Pegg

Okay, he's like 50 and balding...and...English, not Scottish as the name "Scotty" would imply..but...
Dude, it's SHAUN OF THE DEAD!
If there is anyone you want working the transporter and disintegrating and reconstructing your molecules for instant teleportation and travel, it's the slacker dude from ShaUn of The Dead.
..right? Guys?
Uhura - Zoe Saldana

She's...uh...she played in...she was that...
...
She's black! Eh? EH? Uhura was black, she's black...and...
HEY! Look! She knows Orlando Bloom!
Okay. I have nothing.
They're making a new Star Trek movie prequel that doesn't have Shatner in it even in passing, using new faces and little known stars as the main cast. And while the crew listing does have at least one "A-list" celebrity on it, it's Wynona Ryder who as far as I know is a vegan hippy tree hugger stoner who probably still shop lifts for attention.
No WONDER I haven't heard much about the movie.
Still...I'm actually looking forward to it. Star Trek doing a prequel in itself is ground breaking. Not because all of the original actors are old, or dead, or have a cheesy fake Hollywood laugh like Queer-Eye-For-The-George-Takei, but because we get to see a bit more of the back story as we enjoy yet another Star Trek film gracing the big screen.
The gritty realism of building the Enterprise. The nervous and wide eyed crew seeing their ship for the first time. Sylar killing people and picking apart their brains for trivial knowledge because he's too lazy to ask where the bathroom is...
...
...yeah. Nothing. I've got nothing. That and NO Kirk.

Set your phasers to SUCK.
-Coyote
((Regretful Pimpings: As you all know, there is NO shame on the internet. There is no modesty, shame, or self-conscious worry about anything that I say or do here. I give you who I am, and I do so without reluctance.
Until today that is.
You see, The Evil League of Evil is accepting applications...and in order to join them (Yes, it is real.) you have to apply both in letter and in ...video...
If accepted you'll become part of the Dr. Horrible DVD when it is released. If you're not, you'll get made into a mare.
So either way it's a win for me and infearing one of you will find it and link it anyway, I bring you MY submission to the Evil League of Evil for the contest.
...
Be nice, you heartless bastards...
-Coyote ))
I loved your application! Sending good Mojo toward you!
Excellent contest entry. I needed a laugh for today. Thank you.
Survivor? Coyote? Jesus H Zebsen, he'd go feral in about 5 mins and kill everyone!
LMAO! I really hope you get accepted, that is an AWESOME application.
Fire poker? I think they make a cream for that now . . .
If you follow Joss Whedon or are familiar with Dr.Horrible - you'll get it, and hopefully appreciate it.
If you don't and have never SEEN it....well...
Then I look like the retard that I obviously am.
I kind of wish there was a stereotypical cartoon KERPOW or POKE when you poked yourself though :P
LOL!! I loved it!! You should totally be accepted!
Ok I can't wait to go home and watch it. But the fact that you are totally putting in your application (which I totally knew you would) I *sniffle* am so filled with pride!
Stunning. Excellent. Wonderful. These words do not describe the genius that is Coyote.
I hope you get accepted, there are some other very good submissions. I'll need ot make one for myself.
But you missed some more important characters man...
Eric Bana will be...whoever the hell Nero is. Eric Bana! How can you forget the guy we like to call the "Crappier Hulk"
Jennifer Morrison (or who I call the "chick from House") will be playing Kirk's wife who we've never seen or really wanted to see before.
And last but not least...Cody Klop as Vulcan Bully #3
Outstanding Acting.
Great directing.
Awesome script.
Three things that don't even remotely describe that application.
Just josh-en.. (see what I did there?)
I was in tears watching that video, and very surprised by the feminine twinge you have to your voice. Must be from living in that house full of women.
Yes yes. Let the mocking commence...
Royalty? You?
Actually yes, I totally agree.
Yer a lazy sponging waste of space that does nothing but expects everything for doing nothing, you're a drain on the economy and give nothing back, except foreigners like to look at you and take photos of you.
Yes, you're royalty alright.
*giggle*
Good work on the U too. Yes I appreciate stuff like that.
Dear god....just watched that video....
How come you sound like you got braces in??
Does Mrs Coyote know you been playing with actual fire??
You realise, even with the mask on, you have the perfect face for radio??
You also realise you do NOT have the perfect voice for radio???
However, I looked at that chicks, Harlyquim or something, video, now THAT is disturbing. She is deffo waaaay more evil than you are. She scared me. Seriously.
That said, Pee Wee Herman is more evil than you. No offense.
1) I have a cold.
2) Mrs said "No one can tell".
3) I hate her.
4) I'm suddenly very relieved that you don't find me physically attractive or with alluring voice. I'm sorry to disappoint, but if you keep searching I'm SURE you'll find that sexy voiced man of your dreams you mammoth bad toothed poofter.
6) I am totally evil.
Oh and you said *per se* you actually used that phrase! Hahahahahahaha!
When did you turn all metrosexual??
Pretencious? Moi??
Hahahahhahahahahahahaha!
Sean Bean does it for me btw.
When I saw the title "Fire Poker," I thought that you were going to be that guy at the campfire who can't leave it alone and is always poking it. You know you'll wet the bed if you keep doing that.
Xaryn wins the column for the day for a Trashcan Man reference.
who's the trashcan man??
I wanted to see your contest entry, but I couldn't get it to load on Youtube. Stupid youtube.
# Sarah Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 12:02 pm
who’s the trashcan man??
__________
A character from The Stand. Here's the book's Wikipedia entry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stand
Scroll down to the "Character's" section and you'll find a couple paragraphs about The Trashcan Man.
S
Great video. I'd love to cross post that on something like Survivor or Big Brother auditions or something. I bet you'd get a call just for the off-the-wall nature of it.
Go nuts! Post it anywhere you think it would be appreciated.
We've entered "full whore" stage now, and if you think someone will laugh - post it. The winner gets on the Dr.Horrible DVD.
I mean talk about yer geek cred.
you kind of sound like sylvester. when did you start lisping?
...
I realize MADHOG can't grasp the difference between "person" and "character for contest", but dude - you KNOW me in real life. Surely YOU saw a difference.
yeeeesh.
Okay, finally got to watch the whole application.
Strength of a thousand men in one finger, eh? Well that's one bastard who isn't getting near my boobs anytime soon.
Bumpety Bump.
*had to be said
ehhh might want to see a doc for that poker if its feeling like fire might want to check it out. and bats do you poke bats.... BATS
Ok I watched it...loved it...faved it oh and added it to my myspace playlist ;) MWAHAHAHA
I'm not Star Trek fan. In fact, full-on geek that I am, I dislike it. I reckon we've been spoilt by the likes of Babylon5, Farscape, and the Whedon's. I can't appreciate those episodic story arcs, with no discernable characterisation beyond their jobs, and dialogue that could be uttered by anyone on the show. But I'll watch this new one, cos, hello, geek.
Was kinda puzzled by getting Simon Pegg in as Scotty. I like the bloke, but not being Scottish, or brunette, just wonder at the train of thought that gets from A to B in that casting. Not as bad as casting Keanu effing Reeves as John Constantine from the Hellblazer comics in the Constantine film though. That one had me frothing at the mouth in rightous frothing. A common blond englishman, yeah, Keanu Reeves springs to mind. Pfsh.
Quality evil video. Hope it pays off. I felt the Whedony force flowing. Or I might have wet myself.
As much as I truly hate to agree on this one little point...
You do kind of lisp a bit. On the plus side, it's probably the piercing :)
Oh... and yeah. I totally passed that around at work. To everyone.
I may have to email it to Smed...
I heard lisping..... Who'd. You get t jelly ya?