You down with Diablo 3? Yeah you know..wait..
Updated Mon, Nov 10, 2008 by Coyote
No...
No I'm not.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED Diablo...
It did top-down RPG WELL, had a great storyline, unique loot system, and you could play it over and over again and not end up with the same gear or play experience.
The game was FUN and I played the ever loving snot out of it. Diablo itself may be the sole reason that I was a virgin until I was 28 years old. I was too busy "gettin' my game on" to worry about "gettin' my game on". If ya know what I'm sayin', gimme a lil' sum sum.
Then Diablo II came out, and I never saw my family again.
I stumbled out of the computer lair one day, looking for Pepsi and Funyons in order to fuel my gaming streek and noticed that the house was bare. The walls were empty, the remainder of the furniture had been covered in white sheets, and THERE WAS NO ELECTRICITY TO THE HOUSE! I had only been playing the game in my MIND because I WAS A GHOST THE WHOLE TIME!
...
....okay. That didn't happen, but once M. Night Shamalamadingdong reads this, it will.
But I digress.
Diablo II was a fun experience for me, and like the original I played it non-stop. I found every secret, killed every beast, and became themaster of the next incarnation of The Secret Cow Level. But a few years had passed, and with the addition of a new game, came a new experience.
Online game play.
Okay, the original had it as well, but this was over a cable modem! No lag, real time play with your buddies and people online! You could start over, earn achievements and adventure with perfect strangers...
...who hacked the game and ganked you the MOMENT you left the safety of the village.
You laid there, betrayed and confused as level 70 mystical geared warriors came out of the woodwork, all of them fighting over your tattered corpse and the rights to do unspeakable things to it.
Diablo II almost completely turned me off from online gaming.
The game was hacked harder than Lizzie Borden's parents. Mods, cheats, exploits, trainers, bots, and roving gangs of griefers straight out of the gasoline hungry gangs from Mad Max. It was pure and utter Chaos - and for once I didn't enjoy it.
Not because I couldn't cheat, because I could have. I wouldn't because it would have ruined the game for me on a whole 'nother level, but I could have. The hacks and mods were easy to find, easy to set up, and worst of all...
It seemed like Blizzard didn't care.
They knew about the rampant cheating and hacking, and while they did put out a few patches and updates, it seemed like they made no effort at all to keep up with the modders. Online play was FREE and if you didn't like it, you could just log off. They had already been paid for your fun and had your money, so why would they care? Diablo II left a bad taste in my mouth, and now as they're serving up a big ol' plate of Diablo III...
I dunno if Iwant a bite.
They're offering new classes on this admittedly epic game, new storylines and arcs, and with the advances in gaming since Diablo II - a new game experience. Online gaming has changed by leaps and bounds, and this COULD be a brand new experience of play.
Or it could be just another round of Diablo II in disguise.
Either way, I'm afraid to leave the boundaries of the town to check. Sure, security will be better (anything will be better compared to what it was), and Blizzard is a King in the realm of Online Play, but what will the incentive to play Online be? Will it be free? Will it be subscription based? Does this teaser shot do anything for you?
Or does it look like John Conner in drag?
Which would have just been an awkward moment from Terminator 2, right? Arnie kicks down the door, blasts some bad guy in the face, reaches out a hand to John Conner ...
...and sees him all in drag. Feeling pretty.
"*BLAM!* Come weeth meh if you wunt to...li-...um...wow. This is awkward. Bad time?"
"Yeah."
"I..I could just you know, come back in like a year. I'm sure you'll be fine."
"Close the door on the way out."
"Uh...yeah. Wow."
No matter how you slice it, Diablo III will be absolutely huge, and despite my hesitation - I'll be one of the people playing it. Diablo II was just too good NOT to give it a chance. However, UNLIKE the majority of players, my replay value will be limited to my own imagination...
...because there is no WAY I'm going online and playing with a bunch of Counter Strike kids screaming "n00b!" into Ventrilo.
Unless, you know. You guys have really good hacks you can share. Then it's on like Donkey Kong.
-Coyote
-
Basics, GuidesFri, Feb 10, 2012Ethec
-
Zone Info, GuidesMon, Feb 13, 2012Halfshell
-
Basics, FAQ, Misc Guides, GuidesSun, Feb 12, 2012Space Junkie
-
Features, OpinionsSun, Feb 12, 2012Saia
-
FeaturesMon, Feb 13, 2012Mem
-
Features, OpinionsMon, Feb 13, 2012Messiah
-
Basics, Class Info, Item Guides, Misc Guides, Zone Info, GuidesFri, Feb 10, 2012Space Junkie
-
Features, OpinionsFri, Feb 10, 2012Saia
-
NewsFri, Feb 10, 2012Martuk
-
NewsFri, Feb 10, 2012Martuk
Unless they add DRM or some form of it, which they WILL do, because Diablo, Starcraft and Warcraft are the heavieset pirated games in history. Then you'll have to make Sophie's choice.
No, i'm not sure what that is. What it looks like is a reminder to move his dot. We had dots on a giant marker board, we were suppose to move them when we got in so the managers wouldn't have to walk around to see if you showed up. If you didn't move it they would get all pissy cuz they would have to get up..
That would be funny if it was his password, the HIPAA police would leave a memo on his desk. Fear the HIPPA police.. they will steal your stapler then move you into the basement.
You should do a blog on the number of things that caused you to be a virgin til 28 years old. Without going back and rereading yer crap here over the last few months, I swear you blame everything.
Everything except that goatie.
Coincidence? I think not!
Diablo? Never played 'em, never will. Im so into my Orc in WAR its not funny. Even managed to trick my witch into rolling a zealot, tho she seems a little slacking in the keeping me alive in scenarios area, but questing and stuff, shes doing just fine! Possibly cos I have crafted and honed awesome plan!
1. Target a healer.
2. Attack healer.
For some reason, if I attack a wizzy or other dress wearing poofter, noone cares. Attack a healer and I get ALL 9 attacking me! Now I can stay alive without heals for about 3 mins, but, these morons are all following me, away from the flag they were 3 mins earlier intent on getting, so my team mates are wracking up points from the flag!
The only things missing in this awesome game are /dance and /giggle.
Oi oi OI!
PS I cant remember what you wrote about people playing orcs, but, you can sod off gitface!
From what i remember of Diablo 2 (too young to of done 1) i had fun on the offline single player, but i managed to get to level 60 odd pally before anyone started ganking me on the hardest setting stuff, and that was probably once or twice. i was always confused how a level 70 could play on the easiest setting but they were only there to help friends zoom through the game in 5 minutes.. and kill as many cows as they could, moooooooooooo!
@Madhog: What server? I've got an itch to roll an orc.... and there's no way of writing that that doesn't sound vaguely 'Welsh'.
As for Diablo.. yeah, I'll play it. Might have to dig out the old ones first though. But that means going into The Cupboard. Where the old games live...
And since he is away from the computer this morning be sure to check out his second Warhammer Online guide where he discusses the Dwarves and Greenskins http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/46196
Im on Karak-Ungor Alma. Madhoggz iz da name, killin stuntiez is da game! Oi oi oi!
Erm thats basically a rip off of the class and race review he did on here! However, s'bloody true and funny!
I think they made Diablo 3 a little too bright. I loved how dark Diablo 2 was, but all the screenies of the new one I've seen make me cry. It's like they went to the WOW designers and said hey we want you to make everyones asscheeks squeeze together like we are trying to stuff a watermelon up there, thus the brightly colored atmosphere. That being said I will probably end up getting it for Dread and me, but I will play the whole game with a butt plug nicely inserted so that I'm not enjoying the colors.
Speaking of tea bags...
I stopped in the office one night on my way home from the bar and did this to a buddy's PC. http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k145/Dannible/Other/082206_18281.jpg The next day I had to educate my fellow workmates, including my manager, on what tea bagging was...
Good times!
I played both Diablo's and thought they were ok. I never realized how popular they actually were until pretty recently. Seems like the hype was generated well after the games release, or I am just out of touch with Diablo ;)
Hey Dan is that yer mates password stuck on the screen??
Can't a fellow drink in peace?
Diable was awesome, and I will be all over D3 like Coyote on a pixie stick.
Actually, I played the original Diablo online a lot, and I remember it being a lot more hack-ridden than Diablo II. As someone that's been on both sides of the cheating, Diablo II was a lot harder to break than the original Diablo (in the original Diablo, I used to hack for unlimited mana, then cast Mana Shield. That gave you infinite health. Combine that with a weapon that could kill even Diablo himself in one hit and it was completely not fair - eh, I was 15. I did eventually grow out of it). I never had much of a problem with other players cheating in either of them though, as I tended to play in private games with people I knew, rather than submitting myself to the company of the unwashed masses. There were also tools for both that would scan the game you were in and let you know if anyone in it was hacking. Nothing like calling people on their bullshit before you even set foot out of town.
Blizz has actually done a great job keeping hacking out of WoW though. Yeah, there's a few hacks here and there that get through - but it gets reported, and people get banned, and I have never _once_ in 2+ years been killed by a player using an exploit. Sure, I've seen the videos of people doing 20k damage per second, and there was JUST a high-profile lawsuit filed against a company that wrote a botting program - but you can't even log in to Lineage II without encountering a player named GKsjdlgOsldh running in circles killing the same mobs over and over for hours at a time.
As far as paying to play, the buzz at Blizzard is that your WoW account will soon be converted to a "Blizzard Account". The current speculation is that you'll pay a monthly fee for your Blizzard Account, and that'll give you access to online play for WoW, D3, and whatever else comes down the pipe.