Warhammer Online at Ten Ton Hammer - Taking MMOG Gamers to the Next Level!

The fast-food giant announced today that it will be extending its marketing arm into the virtual world of Warhammer Online. The move is all the more surprising given how it will be implemented. McDonald's, better known for its Happy Meals and donations to sick childrens' hospitals will be taking a more mature track with this promotional campaign.

Happy Meals will be renamed 'Scrappy Meals' and will come in only one variety, the WARhamburger box. Toys included in the meal will consist of 'Waaagh! The Card Game'. Children will be encouraged to speak like Greenskins, gaining 'reknown' points for speaking this nearly incomprehensible language both at school and at home. The second phase of the campaign will include a set of collectible skulls. A dozen different skulls will be available for children to collect, display and trade with their friends. The final phase will once again be a set of collectibles, only this time it will be weapons which will be customizable with various decals portraying blood, body parts and gore.

McDonald's famous Monopoly game will be mothballed in favour of Barnettopoly, named after the flamboyant Creative Director at Mythic Entertainment, Paul Barnett. Peel off codes will be placed on all sandwich and beverage products giving customers the chance to win virtual items for use in the Warhammer Online game. One such item, the Ronald McDonald Rapier will allow players to randomly change what their opponent receives when they purchase from an in-game merchant, emulating a McDonald's Drive-Thru.

In turn, the team at Mythic Entertainment has made changes to their game to reflect their partnership with the clown prince of calories. A new class will be introduced to the game, named the Hamburglar. This class will include abilities like 'Super Size Me', which causes opponents to get larger and slower. Changes will also be made to the Dwarven classes which previously used 'grudges' as a resource within the game. Grudges will now be called 'grimaces' and will be displayed as purple blobs on the player's user interface. Grimaces will never completely satisfy the player, but will be easy to play and cheap to maintain.

When asked about this strange partnership Jim Skinner, McDonald's CEO had this to say,

"It only made sense to team up with the Warhammer Online team. We plan on putting little figurines in our Happy Meals, which will be renamed Scrappy Meals, but some of the team decided that having figures with blood and skulls as ornaments wasn't appropriate. I don't see why not, so I OK'd it anyway. I mean our McChicken is basically just ground up chicken skulls and blood. What's the difference? Making a custom hamburger was much easier and hell, we can charge for it! -- Jim "Super Size Me" Skinner, McDonald's CEO

Mythic Entertainment's Eugene Evans replied with,

"It may seem an odd coupling on the surface, but when you dig deeper both products are eerily similar. We both cater to teens, offer an escape from reality and have been known to cause weight gain. " -- Eugene Evans, EA / Mythic Upper Crust Guy.

Mr. Evans quote was interrupted when Paul Barnett burst into the room asking, "Where is the dark little cloud?". He then waved his hands before his face simulating a magician, pretended to throw a ninja smoke bomb at his own feet, yelled "I am batman!" and fled the room.

More on this breaking story as we receive it.