Ten Ton Hammer - Taking MMO Gamers to the Next Level!

Video games have feelings too..

Richard Bartle is an old school gamer.

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He's written games, contributed to more online play than just about anyone in the universe, and oh yeah...

He invented the MUD.

For those non-geeks among us, or for those of you who are so young that you wear your baseball cap off kilter and jeans pulled down so low that your crotch rests somewhere between your knees:

A MUD is a Multi-User-Dungeon. MUD's predate things like consoles and graphics, and rely heavily (solely?) on text. (You know, that stuff that you don't bother reading as you quickly accept a quest because you damn kids today need to get off of my friggin' lawn. And PULL UP your GOD DAMN PANTS! Yeesh.)

So Richard Bartle has seen it all...

...and what he's seen as of late has him riled.

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In the new World of Warcraft expansion: "Buy Me Because The Lich King Needs A Porsche", there is a quest line for zone access that requires a player to torture a prisoner who will not speak. You have to grab the in-game equivalent to a cattle prod and give him 900,000 volts to his digital happy sack (Okay, you don't HAVE to aim for the rocket boosters, but we BOTH know where you are aiming.), until he coughs up the information, and probably a little bit of blood.

And there is no way away around it.

You either give Mr. Happy a couple of tickles with a hurt stick, or you don't get to go to The Nexus. There is no other way to finish the quest and no option that allows saves the NPC from French kissing a bug zapper. You HAVE to torture this NPC, and Richard Bartle is disgusted.

Now, I know what you are thinking:

"THIS SOUNDS FRIGGING AWESOME!! *MORE* games should have people that you can jab with pain pokers!!"

I know right??

...

...WRONG!!

Torture is wrong, torture is bad, and torture is NOT something that Richard Bartle wants in his game! He had NO choice but to follow this quest and shock the hell out of a poor, probably innocent, NPC. A decision that will haunt him the rest of his life, because he HAD to do it. He HAD to go against his morals, his values, and his own inner voices because...

...dude. He REALLY wanted in that zone.

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I mean, it probably means nothing to Mr. Bartle that he had to slaughter a million creatures in order to get to that point, or that in several instances parties SNEAK UP on NPC's and gank them in surprise.

That's okay.

You can KILL people based on the fact that you're at war with their race, hate them because you have a difference in values, or kill them because they might drop something you want in a glorified mugging...

...but torture? C'mon. That's against the Geneva Convention!

"But Coyote! This is a game and isn't ruled by the Genev...wait. Do you even know what the Geneva Convention is?"

No.

No I do not. I went to public school.

So if these aren't my words or concerns...who do they belong to? How about Richard Bartle?

"Unless there's some kind of awful consequence further down the line, it would seem that Blizzard's designers are OK with breaking the Geneva convention...

When I signed up to play WoW I knew it had fireballs, so I expected killing. I knew it had rogues, so I expected thieving. I had to wait until the second expansion to find out it had gratuitous torture."

And I feel for him, I really do...

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If you are playing a game where you are expected to kill people, murder and skin animals for their innards and hides, rob, group mug, and set things on fire - the LAST thing you want in a game is torture.

Where do we draw the line?

So what is the point behind all of this?

Well, to state it maturely as both and an adult AND a professional: Richard Bartle, the man who invented the MUD, the man I owe my online gaming memories, joys, and future to...

Is a big whiner-baby Emo Carebear.

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A wise man once told me "Pick your battles", and that is a guideline that I hold myself to everyday. You can’t be good with some inexcusable and real-life horrific behavior, but turn your nose up at the ones that bother YOU specifically. You can't wallow in the mud for fun, and then get pissy when you get dirtier than you wanted to.

These games are full of violence.

Sure, it might be spruced up with cartoon graphics and humans who look like they're doing ab crunches between instances when you aren't looking, but the truth of the matter is that these games are VIOLENT and deal with VIOLENT themes. Torture is the worst they offer?

What about the raising of the dead? Desecrating remains? Murder, violence, pyromania and every other ass-kicking aspect that makes a game FUN to play? You're not playing World of Ticklefest - it is WARCRAFT, and if torture isn't a craft or result of War tactics then I am sadly mistaken...

...or you're reaaaally lying to yourself.

If a game sets off your moral compass - don't play it. It is that easy. And while you're at it:

You damn kids get off of Mr. Bartle's lawn! You're torturing his grass!

-Coyote