Ten Ton Hammer - Taking MMO Gamers to the Next Level!

World of Warcraft loves you.

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And in that pure, undying love, Blizzard wants you to be happy - not only with the game and the experiences that it brings, but with your character. It knows that as you grow in life, your tastes change and develop and that some people may want those changes to be reflected in a large focus of their life...

...their in game avatar.

But sometimes new armor and a haircut just aren't going to cut it. Sometimes all of the questing, leveling, and grinding in the world simply won't give you the ONE thing that you *truly* want for Christmas.

Breasts.

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Or...you know, if you're a chick - dangly man bits. Which just makes everyone uncomfortable, because no matter how weirded out we are by the fact that you're now sporting enough tree trunk to be declared a national forest, we kinda wanna know how and IF it really works. Because if these things can be mass marketed, those of us born this way might be hosed, and more importantly - forced to be all sensitive and caring and stuff in order to compete with the "Male Order Bride", if you get my drift.

But I digress.

So you're stuck in game on a character whose sex is just plain wrong, and frankly, you're miserable.

Don't laugh, it happens more often than you'd think.

Maybe the character no longer fits you, perhaps you're just ready for a change of pace, or; perhaps like my buddy "Den" (and the rest of the world) you couldn't tell the difference between male elves and female elves upon character creation, and your buddies constantly laugh at and hit on you because you're an accidental chick.

Whatever the reason, one question remains:

"Seriously, how does that thing work? It is like the internet and involving a complicated series of tubes? Is there some sort of fossil fuel burning internal combustion that was developed expressly for the purpose of putting some junk...um..on your junk?"

...

....okay...TWO questions remain. That one, and..

"How can I change my character's sex in World of Warcraft?"

Well, you can try dealing with back alley shamans and barely English speaking "nad farmers", but most of them (as you know) are bots, and the work isn't exactly safe. Plus, half the time when they GET you alone for the illegal surgery, they either go link dead with your cash or call you n00bsaUc3 and try to duel you.

Blizzard recognized this, and in an effort to bring you, the player, a bit more happiness with yourself, and your character, they now offer (for a small nominal fee) in game sex changes.

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That's right. For 15 bucks they'll whap something off, or glue something on.

Now I know what you are thinking:

"But Coyote, this service offers MORE than that, and the SEX change part of it is just to show you how drastic an end result you can get for your 15 bucks!"

Really?

Sure, for that 15 bucks they'll change EVERYTHING about your character *except* race and class, but let's be honest...

All of the changes they offer, except for ONE REALLY IMPORTANT ONE...can be found in game, and bought with in game money - not real world cashy goodness. So the only thing that they are offering new, in this advertised-on-their-own-website-yes-this-is-real, is the fact that you can go from Dude-to-Chick or Chick-to-Dude.

That's it. Finito.

Wax on, or Wax off, there is no other REAL change.

Which leads to yet ANOTHER question: Who in the hell would DO this?

Answer? Guys.

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Seriously. Guys. Not to like prove a point, or to make their friends uncomfortable, but in following of the only two true motivators in a man's life: Breasts and pranks.

When you're playing a male character in 3rd person for weeks, months, years on end - one sad truth is never delved into: You're staring at a guy's ass. Sure, it might be *YOUR* ass, but you are still staring at it in all of its muscled glory as it fights, jiggles, and sweats with effort.

Turning yourself into a chick might get you made fun of, but now at least you have something *better* to watch flex and flobble as you kill undead by the score, and maybe fall out of your top in the heat of passion. (This happens a LOT to women.)

And if that isn't your motivator, the second one is.

I predict a LOT of guys who made the mistake of giving a buddy their password so that they could "log him in since I'm going to be on vacation" or "Sweet, here, go get me that item" are going to wake up one morning and realize that they're suddenly MISSING their Staff of Smiting, and in its place, some joker has left two Orbs of Awe.

And then he's going to bounce up and down in front of the mirror for like an hour.

....so you know. Fifteen bucks, well spent.

-Coyote