Interview With Blackguard

by: Coyotee Sharptongue

“Combat alterations. Class revisions. Change.
These words
can be heard ringing across Norrath, grudgenly accepted by most, but
still
stinging the ears of some as their occupation as they know lays
drastically
different. But what of direct answers? Who speaks for the gods? This is
Coyotee
Sharptongue for Caster’s Realm news bringing you the TRUE Story.” A
large
Cat-man clutching a microphone dramatically gestures with his free hand
to a
small stone dwelling behind him.

“I stand here today, unannounced at the very
threshold of
truth. After following an anonymous tip we have learned that this very
building
is home to the infamous “Blackguard” spokesperson of the gods, and
contact from
the mortal world.” He announces as he stomps up the path to a large
wooden door.

“Armed only with the questions supplied by you –
the viewer,
and a hunger for the truth, I bravely put myself in harms way as I will
now
demand for the world, direct answers that you the public cry out for.”
Coyotee
explains dramatically as he steadies himself and knocks three times on
the
heavy oak door.

His echoes reverberate eerily and for a moment
there is no
response. Coyotee looks nervously to the camera as the doorway suddenly
cracks
open slightly and a small voice asks a meek “Hello?”.

“Yes, hello. I am Coyotee Sharptongue for Casters
Realm
news, and I am searching for Blackguard.” Coyotee says politely as he
addresses
the voice.

The door swings open a bit more as a small, thin
human
wearing large glasses steps out of the home.

“Yes? I’m Blackguard.” He states as Coyotee blinks
in
disbelief.

“You? YOU are Blackguard?” The reporter asks
incredulously
as he towers over the small man.

“Y-yes. Melvin J. Blackguard sir. How can I help
you?” The
diminutive human asks pushing up his glasses as Coyotee grins,
obviously
emboldened by the man’s small size and meek stature.

“You can START by answering a few questions that
the public
DEMANDS answers for PAL.” Coyotee growls as he takes aggressive
control, trying
to intimidate the truth from the tiny Blackguard.

“The p-public?” Melvin stammers as Coyotee cuts
him off,
shoving the microphone in his face.

“The PUBLIC. The public THAT YOU owe your JOB to
Buddyboy." Coyotee adds with a poke that staggers the little man.

“Tell us BLACKGUARD, what is it you have against
PALADINS?
Was it YOUR idea to completely upset the entire class?” He asks again,
the
stammering from Blackguard only fueling his fire for the truth.

“PALADINS?!!? I didn’t do anything with Paladins!
I even –“
Blackguard tries to explain as Coyotee cuts him off.

“No? Then how do you explain the general turmoil?
The
discontent? Or maybe you want to delve into the latest cries of
rage from
the Guardians? The WARLOCKS? WE DEMAND AN APOLOGY! YOU ANSWER FOR THE
GODS, AND
BY GOD YOU’LL ANSWER TO NORRATH!” Coyotee growls as he grabs the little
man by
the front of his tunic.

“Answer for the gods? Oh. OH!” Blackguard chuckles
as he
shakes his head, his hands laid gently on Coyotee’s paws as he’s held
in iron
grip.

“You don’t want ME. You want my UNCLE Blackguard.
HE’S the
liaison to the gods.” Melvin laughs at the mistaken identity as Coyotee
looks
on confused.

"Uncle Blackguard?" Coyotee asks in a small voice.

“UNCLE BLACKGUARD!” He screams behind him with a
turn of his
head.

The camera shakes violently as a large and
intimidating
looking human stomps into view all but ripping the door from its hinges
as he
opens it roughly, his eyes locking on the Reporter who has the small
Melvin
still held by the front of his shirt.

“Blackguard?” Coyotee asks in a small voice as the
human
growls low in his throat, his eyes ablaze.

“Let. Him. Go.” Blackguard orders in deep, but
eerily calm
voice.

“W-wha..oh..yes..yes..um…sorry about that.”
Coyotee stammers
as he releases the smaller Blackguard, smoothing out the wrinkles on
his shirt
with a nervous smile.

“He’s here to beat answers out of you or some
such.” Melvin
points out helpfully as Blackguard crosses his arms and rumbles another
low
growl.

“Heh..heh..funny guy that..M-melvin. Nonono..I was
just g-“
Coyotee  tries to offer a quick
explanation as Melvin cuts him off.

“Oh. He demands an apology too. Plus I think I
heard him say
that you are a pathetic wannabe pirate .” The smaller Blackguard adds
as
Coyotee’s eyes go wide, his jaw going slack as he looks towards the
impressive
Brigand.

“What?!? I never..why you little..” Coyotee says
as he looks
up to the now advancing Blackguard. The Kerran's bottom lip quivers
slightly as
he throws a pleading look to the viewing audience.

Cracking his knuckles, Blackguard reaches for
Coyotee as the
camera pans to Melvin waving at the now off camera reporter. 

“Bye-bye.” He smiles as the sound of sudden and
painful
combat can be heard, causing the little man to flinch as the camera
quickly breaks
to static.

The words “Wow, I didn’t think that would FIT
there” can be
heard muffled as the scene fades to black.