Interview with Lucan D'Lere

By: Coyotee Sharptongue

 “Begin.” A cold and intimidating voice commands from the deep
recesses of the pitch black nothingness. 

An incredibly bright light flairs instantly to life as the camera
focuses on
a large Kerran holding a microphone. He looks nervous, yet excited as
he addresses
the recorder in a harsh whisper.

“H-hello friends. This is Coyotee Sharptongue for Casters Realm
news, coming
to you LIVE from..”he looks around, his eyes searching through the
darkness
that surrounds him. “..from location unknown. My camera crew and I were
roughly
kidnapped in the Commonlands, bound and blindfolded and brought here.
We were
then told that we were to go on air live to bring you this unexpected
interview
with the Overlord himself..Lucan D’lere.” Coyotee breaths into the
microphone as
he turns towards a large man sitting on a throne of bones. The man’s
stark
white hair is tied in a ponytail, his remaining good eye never leaving
the
reporting Kerra.

“Lucan, not since your interview with Moorgard have you spoken to
th-“
Coyotee is cut off as Lucan interrupts him with an fearsome bellow.

“IMPUDANT WORM!” the Overlord erupts, causing the large cat-man to
shrink
back in terror. “You will address me as OVERLORD when I allow you the
HONOR of
speaking to me. Do you understand me, you wretched pile of filth?” He
growls as
Coyotee nods quickly.

“Yes Overlord. I meant no disrespect sir.” Coyotee corrects himself.
“Overlord, if I may ask, why have I been brought here? What message do
you wish
Norrath to hear?” Coyotee asks in a shaking voice, the microphone
bobbing
nervously.

Lucan sneers and leans forward the camera focusing on his
intimidating
glare.

“Simpering fools of Qeynos, I address you.” He growls. “Know now
that your
end is near. No more am I willing to sit back and allow your festering
blemish
of a city to disgrace Norrath. I give you warning.” He leans back, an
evil
smile cracking his angry face. “Leave Qeynos. Abandon your hovel and
flee like
the cowardly dogs you are. For when I-“ Lucan is stopped mid sentence
by a
bright rectangle of light appearing behind him. A new voice interrupts,
it’s
sheer volume splitting the air.

“Lucan? What are you doing down there? I hear voices!” An older
woman’s
cackled question cascades down with the newly dawned light.

Lucan looks annoyed as he looks over his shoulder towards the sound
and
yells back.

“I am BUSY Mother!” He snaps, before turning back to the camera.

“For when I command my armies to-“ he tries to continue but is cut
off once
more by the woman’s voice.

“Busy NOTHING! Did you take out the trash? And why are the lights
off?” She
crones down to Lucan who annoyed, spins once more in his chair and
yells back.

“I’ll take out the trash LATER! I have COMPANY MOTHER!” He screams
in reply.

“Company? Is it a girl pookybear?
Do I know her? Is it that lovely Antonia? She is always so polite.” The
woman’s
voice softens as the Overlord sighs and brings a hand to his forehead.

“NO Mother, it is NOT a girl. PLEASE leave us ALONE.” He commands as
he
looks up at Coyotee, daring him to comment with a steel gaze. Coyotee
looks
confused, but still intimidated as he offers a nervous but
understanding smile
that quickly wilts under Lucan’s dread glare.

“Did you offer your guest any thing to eat or drink? Would he like
some milk
and cookies?” Mrs. D’Lere inquires, spurring more rage from Lucan.

“NO! HE DOES NOT WANT ANY MILK OR COOKIES! Do you MIND? We are in
the MIDDLE
of something here!” He screams towards the light.

“Did you even ASK him?” The woman’s voice inquires haughtily as
Lucan gives
a defeated sigh and turns towards Coyotee, his voice low and barely
audible.

“Wouldyoulikesomemilkandcookies?” He grumbles grudgingly.

“Um..uh..n-no…no..I’m good..thank you.” Coyotee smiles awkwardly as
Lucan
sighs and yells back towards the light.

“HE DOESN’T WANT ANY MILK AND COOKIES! Will you PLEASE leave us
alone now?”
He pleads back towards the woman’s voice.

“Okay. But you boys play nice. And open a window or something Lucan!
It’s
starting to smell down there.” The woman’s voice suggests as the light
slowly
shrinks, now evident a door being closed.

Lucan sighs and looks towards Coyotee.

“You can edit that out. Right?” He asks hopefully, as Coyotee nods
slowly in
affirmation, not daring to mention to the Overlord that this is a live
feed.

“Okay..lets try this again.” He commands, his voice returning to its
normal
growl as a sneer returns to his face.

“City of Qeynos.” He begins, his voice dripping with hate as he
closes a
fist, slamming it violently onto the arm of his throne. “Know that your
time is
at hand. Even as you hear these words, my – “from somewhere above a
large
mechanical humming sound drowns out the Overlord, who flinches
noticeably but
tries to ignore it. “MY ARMIES ARE ALIGNING AGAINST YOU.” He raises his
voice
against the commotion but to no avail. Spinning in his chair he screams
in
rage.

“MOTHER!” He summons as the humming sound stops. Audible footsteps
are heard
as the door is opened and the square of light returns.

“Did you call for me my little Boogerbear?” the woman’s voice
inquires.

“What in the name of Norrath are you DOING up there?” He stands as
he
addresses the light in anger.

“I’m VACUUMING, because SOMEONE thinks that just because he is an
Overlord,
he doesn’t have to do his CHORES.” The woman’s voice retorts.

“I’m TRYING TO ADDRESS THE WORLD!” He screeches.

“Maybe you should address that TRASH. It’s not going to take itself
out. OH!
And don’t leave your retainer in your pajama’s pocket! I almost washed
it
again!” she scolds. “And your father and I are NOT going to buy you a
new one!”
she adds chiding.

Lucan slumps visibly at the shoulder and puts his hand to his head.

“Um…S-sir? Are we..d-done here?” Coyotee asks nervously as Lucan
nods, his
head still in his hand.

“I could come back later maybe? Perhaps we could –“ Coyotee offers
gently
but is interrupted by Lucan pointing off camera.

“Just get out.” He sighs, defeated.

Coyotee nods to the cameraman and makes a cutting motion as he moves
out of
the camera’s view. As the camera is switched off and fades to black
Lucan’s
voice can be heard screaming towards the light.

“YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! I HATE YOU!” He cries, his loud tones choking
back a
sob.