Interview with Hwal Rucksif

By: Coyotee Sharptongue

“Dwarven Workmanship. These two words are the
pinnacle of
perfection, the absolute standard to which by anything sturdy and
reliable,
like the dwarves themselves, are judged. But what of these bearded
craftsmen?
What passion burns so deeply within them that the very strength and
durability
that they personify is etched forever in the very objects that they
bring to
life? This is Coyotee Sharptongue for Casters Realm News, bringing you
the true
story.”A large Kerra holding a
microphone smiles into the camera as he moves towards a gruff looking
dwarf.

“Standing with me today is Hwal Rucksif, the local
dwarven
craftsman made world famous by his legendary Dwarven Work boots. Can
you tell
us Hwal, what got you started in the footwear industry?” Coyotee asks
as he
lowers the microphone to the stout boot maker.

“I like feet.” Hwal says with an odd smile as he
looks up to
the large cat-man.

“Ahhah..ha. Don’t we all.” Coyotee smile
uncomfortably as
the dwarf leans towards the microphone.

“No. I mean I REALLY like feet.” He insists as he
puts on
hand on the mic and looks towards the camera.

“Ya see Coyotee. These boots..” He smiles as he
holds up a
leg and shows off his wares. “These boots is justa money maker fer my
REAL
project.” He smiles as he reaches into a large sack at his feet.

“Your real project?” Coyotee asks intrigued as he
watches
the rough looking dwarf scrounge through his bag.

“Aye.” Hwal affirms in muffled tones as he finds
what he’s
looking for in the sack.

“A new type of shoe perhaps? Battle armor? What is
this new
project?” The Kerran reporter asks eagerly as he’s given the exclusive
scoop.

 “DWARVSIES!” Hwal cries out in triumph as he
erupts from the
bag, holding a pair of large pink lace underpants over his head.

 “Dwarvsies?” Coyotee asks in confusion as he
eyeballs the
frilly undergarments.

 “Aye! Dwarvsies!” Hwal grins as he smiles up at
Coyotee.

 “Ya see Coyotee, jus’ ‘cause a dwarf is tough on
the
outside, don’t mean he don’t wanna be pretty on the inside.” He
confides as the
wide eyed Kerra stares at the pair of Dwarvsies.

 “They look like a female’s underwear.” Coyotee
points out as
he gestures towards the pink laced cloth.

 “Purty enough fer a wench but made fer a lad!
How’s that for
a slogan?” Hwal laughs loudly as he claps the Kerra on the back roughly.

 “But. They’re…they’re pink.” Coyotee exclaims as
the dwarf
begins to lovingly rub the Dwarvsies against his leathered cheek.

 “They’re soft against yer skin, yet as durable as
leather.”
Hwal sighs dreamily as he holds them against his nose inhaling deeply.

 “An’ they’re scented. This one here is lilac.” He
grins,
holding them out for Coyotee to smell.

 “ I am NOT sniffing your panties!” Coyotee yelps
indignantly, stepping back.

 “DWARVSIES!!” Hwal roars angrily as he shakes a
meaty fist
at the Kerran.

 “I don’t care WHAT you call them, I’m not SNIFFING
THEM YOU
TWISTED LITTLE FREAK!” Coyotee screams back as he bats at the offered
clothing.

 “I don’t need yer closed minded judgment DAMN YA!”
The dwarf
screams on the verge of tears.

 “I jus’ wanna feel pretty…ain’t no crime in that!”
He sobs
before throwing the pair of lacey underpants at the reporter and
stomping off.

 Blinking in disbelief Coyotee looks down at the
pair of
Dwarvsies resting on his arm and then back to the camera.

 “What drives a craftsman? Is it his need to
create? His
passion for perfection? Or is it..” He looks down at the wad of pink on
his arm
and picks it up, holding the discarded panties towards the camera“..his
need to feel…pretty?” Coyotee asks
staring in awe at the large pair of underwear.

 “This is Coyotee Sharptongue for CR news. Back to
you Tom
and Diane.” Coyotee closes as the camera slowly fades to black.

 “Hey…these DO smell like lilac…and..they’re
so..so.. SOFT.”
Can be heard incredulously as the live feed cuts.