Everything I've ever needed to know, I learned by playing EverQuest

EQ2 Humor by Coyote Sharptongue

I've been playing EverQuest and EverQuest II for a few years now, and in that time I've made a few observations. Virtual life can mirror the real world with an eerie accuracy, and in that I've noted that lessons learned in game can be applied to real life.

Well..with a few obvious exceptions.

-Coyote

Everything I've Ever Needed to Know, I learned By Playing EverQuest

Only through killing do we grow stronger. If you can't kill something, its because you haven't killed enough.

If surrounded by the enemy or a hostile situation, feign death. No one likes a corpse.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice a few members of your group to achieve your goal.

Ignore unnecessary conversations. Its not the quest that matters, its the reward.

Nobody likes you when you shout. Ever.

If you mess up horribly, your friends will never let you live it down.

Always go for the weaker enemy to ensure your win. If he's stronger - bring friends.

Always look at the map first.

No matter how serious, limited by time or important the situation, someone will ALWAYS have to use the bathroom.

People are greedy. Even if they can't use the item they'll want a chance to win it.

The more people in a "zone" the laggier it will become. Try navigating quickly through a crowded Wal-mart.

Spiders are never scary until you are alone with them.

Just because someone is higher in season (level, age) it doesn't mean that they know what the hell they are doing. They've just been around longer.

Dwarves don't like to be poked.

The bigger something is, the less chance it has of being afraid of you.

Nature will always aggro.

Any mode of transportation, no matter how annoying or embarrassing - is better than walking.

A group of friends failing horribly can be more fun than a group of strangers working in perfect unity.

Sometimes you have to run away, and sometimes people get left behind.

No monster in this world is as scary as an angry spouse.

There is always going to be someone stronger than you.

The last man standing gets the loot.

Just because you think something is valuable, doesn't mean it is. And by the same token - just because something ISN'T valuable, doesn't mean its not priceless to you.

As soon as you spend a good chunk of money on something, you'll find it for much cheaper somewhere else.

There will always be a line of other people when you're going for something good.

People who say that they are women...aren't always women.

No one wants to do anything until you make plans to do something.

All the gear in the world doesn't make up for experience and knowledge.

Sometimes you have to sneak into places you really want to go.

Never upset, stiff, or piss off the person who can heal you.

Sometimes death is funny.

The big scary monster might have to eat SOMEONE, but that someone does not have to be you.

If you are going to blindly follow someone, make sure you trust them enough not to walk you off a cliff.

Exploits and cheats are only wrong if you get caught.

Bad reputations are almost impossible to change, and good ones can change in a blink of the eye.

If one or two people in game think you're a jerk, its probably them. If everyone thinks you're a jerk, its you.

Big nasty scary things with wicked teeth are usually not friendly.

Every group of friends has the sacrifical member. If you don't know who this person is, its you.

Everyone once in a while you'll be defeated by something you considered small and harmless.

Sometimes you have to do the boring grind to get what you want.

Shipwreck is usually right.

Hold still if you are being attacked, your friends can't help you if you run around screaming.

Ask for help once in a while and you're a friend. Ask for help all the time and you're avoided.

Life is a game - play it hard, play it with gusto and enjoy every second you get because you never know when you're suddenly going to be out of rez's.