Okay, so we’re a bit late to the show, but hey – we’re
here. With the SOE Summit and work schedules, somehow the patch notes slipped
by us. Luckily we were able to fire up the Delorean, rev up the flux capacitor
and zip back in time to bring you…

 

“Game Update 43: BACK To The Patch Notes”

 

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The Domini have shown themselves in order to lead the
Sathirian nation into a new age of glory!  They are contested raid targets in
overland RoK zones intended for casual raid guilds in difficulty.

RadarX: Contested targets
intended for casual raid guilds.  I'm *SURE* the hardcore raiding guilds are
going to leave them alone.  Besides between teaching orphans to read and
charity work I doubt most of them can squeeze in more kills.

Coyote: "Casual
Raid Guilds In Difficulty" Translation - Hardcore Raider Farm Mob. Get yer
own n00b.

RadarX: I can see
them now standing around fairly deciding who gets first pull while a third
group ganks it.

Coyote: Then they
take your lunch money and give everyone wedgies. It's brutal.

 

You will no longer be able to accidentally fly to Timorous
Deep or Butcherblock from Sinking Sands if you don't have the correct
expansions.

RadarX: Meaning
characters will no longer be trapped in the "stupid box."

Coyote: The nothing
got them. Gee...these rocks are hollow. They look like big strong hands...

 

Characters will no longer pass through the cliff wall in
Pillars of Flame on the carpet from the Swiftrider's Camp to Eastern Stinging
Isle.

RadarX: Instead
players will smack into it and fall 300 feet showing them chasing the
Roadrunner is fruitless.

Coyote: Unless you
draw a tunnel on the side, then your fine. Unless, ya know. A train comes out
of it.

RadarX: I have to
wonder how long this was like this...aren't we talking Deserts of Flames?  I'll
grant that nothing breaks emersion like passing through a large natural
object. 

Coyote: Or PASSING a
large natural object.

RadarX:.....you have
issues.

 

Players are now able to set their last name immediately
upon reaching level 20.

RadarX: Players will
also be smacked for using variations of "Do'Urden."

Coyote: "Unless
you try to create a "clever" last name that plays off of the pun in
your first name. Then you will be kicked in the groin. Hard.

RadarX: Yeah like
Coyote Notcoyatall.

Coyote: Exactly. Or
ya know, RadarX Abouttogeta'Blackeye.

 

Epic mobs in Kunark will now have increased wisdom and
resists.  To compensate for the increased resist rate a number of debuffs have
had their chance to be resisted lowered.

RadarX: More
wisdom?  Have they been attending night classes?

Coyote: Wise and
resistant to my charms. Just like 99% of the female population. *Runs off
sobbing*

RadarX: It also
seems in anticipation of this, the NPU guild has been given bouquets of flowers
and cologne by SOE.

Coyote:...those are
grave markers and A1 Steak Sauce...

 

The "/who all guild" command will now display
information for all guild members regardless of anonymous or role-playing
settings.

RadarX: For those of
you who use Linux and refuse UI's such as...the guild window.

Coyote: And for those
of you using the RP tag, but not RPing, see the above "groin kick"
policy.

RadarX: I use the RP
tag... I'm role-playing a "Leave me alone ok?"

Coyote: Wait until
the Role Play Police pretend to knock down your door and act out arresting you
pal. Then you’ll have to pretend to be sorry!

 

Logging out/going link dead on a non-boat transport should
no longer move you to odd locations.

RadarX: How I'll
miss logging in underwater....

Coyote: How I'll miss
logging in 500 feet in the air wearing full plate mail....

RadarX: Yeah that
was a bug...I'm sure SOE didn't do that to you intentionally...no.

Coyote: Now that you
mention it, I was wondering why my death message read "Yeah, who's mocking
the patch notes NOW funny man?!?" instead of "Loading...Please
Wait".

 

Strikethrough will no longer work with a successful dodge

RadarX: Underline
will however highlight what you are doing.

Coyote: And Bold will
continue to make your text darker.

RadarX: EQ2
Spell-check will still identify "noob" and "Gigglegibber"
as misspelled. 

Coyote: Please. If
EQ2 had a spell check 90% of the people playing would be sent to
"Dictionary Prison".

 

Harvestable Shiny objects ("?") will now act
like treasure chests.

RadarX: Aha!  Take
that Shiny whores!

Coyote: Oh. God. DAMN
it. NO!!! You just took ALL the fun out of wiping my group for a shiny.
You..you bastards.

RadarX: Serves you
right!  Your day of tyranny ends!

Coyote: I was still
doing this in group. I couldn't stop. I'd risk life and limb, rush off to snag
a shiny....and someone else would win it. There is no God.

 

Need before greed: Players are given the option to select
"need", "greed", or "decline" for each item in a
chest.  The item will be assigned to a random player who chooses
"need".  If no players choose "need", it will be randomly
assigned to a player who chooses "greed".

RadarX: There is
always an issue with people you don't know and this system...everyone hits
Need.

Coyote: Sure, I might
not "need" it, but I "need" it because Bristlebane
"needs" donations. See? Need.

RadarX: What they
need is a "I'm greedy so roll on everything" check box so you don't
have to click "roll."

Coyote:
Yeah.....that's what we big kids like to call "soloing".

 

Round-Robin: Items will be assigned to players
automatically in round-robin fashion.

RadarX: As opposed
to a non-round-robin fashion which is...non-round-robinish.

Coyote: Better than
the "Red Rover" method in which they huck crap at you hoping to break
your arms.

RadarX: Also better
than the Red Dawn method where everyone has long hair and fights Russian
Communist Insurgents. 

Coyote: But only on
par with the Dawn of the Dead method where everyone becomes a zombie
and...wait. What were we talking about again?

 

 Items of the specified rarity and above will be awarded
to group members according to the specified looting method (Lotto, Need before
greed, etc).

RadarX: So the
specified rarity will be specified according to the loot specifications
specified in the looting method.  Awesome.

Coyote: Hmm..they
need to be more...more...what's the word..

RadarX: Specific?

Coyote: That’s it!
*snaps his fingers*

 

Collectors will show a Quest Completion icon when you have
a collection ready for turn-in.

RadarX: The icon
will also make a sound like a kitchen timer.

Coyote: They'll also
give you "come hither" eyes and do that finger scrunch gesture
alluringly.

RadarX: You already
get text saying you completed it.  Were people getting confused or forgetting?

Coyote: It was an
order from the Department of Redundancy Department.

 

The quest helper window will now scroll properly when
displaying a timed quest.

RadarX: Yeah this
was a pretty annoying bug.  You'd have to go into your journal to see how long
you had left.

Coyote: I made it! I
wonder how much time I had left. I'll just pull up the window and
...3...2....1...crap.

RadarX: We all
panicked during the Jboots quest constantly checking the time.  You know, back
when it was really hard.  We ran that thing uphill, both ways.

Coyote: Or the
Dwarven Work Boots where we had to get 100 of each item, from the original
nodes and then kill and skin a bear with our bare hands.

RadarX: In the snow.

 

Kullaba in his cave lair should no longer chain heal.

RadarX: Awww well
that is just going to make him...killable now.

Coyote: Kullaba my
lord...Kullaba.....Kullaba my lord....Kullaba....

RadarX: This isn't
the god that brings you virgins. 

Coyote: No no. My
Dwarf wears a wristband for this, it's a spiritual thing. I'm totally. into
Kullaba.

RadarX:.....um...do
you mean Kabbalah?

Coyote: *waves a
hand* Whatever. The one that Madonna likes. I’m totally into that for real and
stuff.

 

If you completed "Saphronia's Request" but
deleted your "Casualties of the War of the Fay", you can speak to
Princess Saphronia again to get another Bag of Gold Fairy Dust.

RadarX: I'm just
appalled at SOE for this one...giving people more fairy dust.  We're on to your
code! 

Coyote: But it will
cost you man, only the first one was free - you dig?

RadarX: Just a
little man..c'mon...just a little. I need me some happy thoughts.

Coyote: I got so
addicted I pretended to sleep just so I could mug the Sand Man.

 

Exiled illusionists can now speak to Angelia Clayton,
Molly Daysun, and Nathan Ironforge.

RadarX: Now WHY they
would want to speak with Nathan Ironforge remains to be seen...

Coyote: AHAHAH!
That's GREAT!  "Man..I've seen a gnoll...and I just need to tell
SOMEONE."

 

During the Illusionist epic, Lanice will no longer give
the option to hand over the furniture unless players are on stage 2 of the
subquest.

RadarX: Instead
Lanice gives you some lovely drapes...

Coyote: And a
fabulous window treatment.

RadarX:
Okay...you're creeping me out.

Coyote: I wish I
could quit yoooooouuuuu.

 

Sometimes while on the monk epic quest, when a monk failed
to kill Aggression they wouldn't be able to get more hearts to try again. 
Hearts will drop now for additional attempts.

RadarX: Dropping
hearts?  Is Aggression a Zelda boss?

Coyote: The only way
to kill Aggression is through understanding and patience. And groin kicks. Lots
of groin kicks.

RadarX: Aggression's
evil power is tied to it's alliance with Celibacy.  Now THAT needs to be
killed.

Coyote: Playing a lot
of video games on those lonely…lonely nights are we?

RadarX: …shut up.

 

The Mark of the Awakened once again shows up. However,
switching into first person no longer displays the rune in front of your
vision.

RadarX: Oh yeah THAT
was annoying.  Seeing a global symbol in front of your face was
freaky...although how many people play in First Person?

Coyote: Dude..you got
something on your face. No...over...no...still there...aww..screw it.

RadarX: I can see
how this would rune someone's game play. Ha!

Coyote: Wow...same
way you "runed" that joke.

 

Male illusionists that cast their drachnid illusion from
the epic quest will now get a male drachnid illusion instead of a female one..

RadarX: Ouuuuch...
like Illusionists don't get emasculated enough.

Coyote: So now your
gender conflicts are your own..."But I felt...pretty..."

RadarX: And it's a
drachnid too... so you are running around as a female half dark elf, half
spider.  That is going to be a hefty therapy bill. 

Coyote: Unless you
can pay in flies....but what would your wallet look like.

RadarX: Speaking of
therapy bills.

 

The "love candle", "lust candle",
"devotion candle", and "passion candle" house items can
still have their hearts turned off, but now default to the heart effect being
on.  Carpenter-made fireplaces also default to burning embers rather than
entirely off.

RadarX: The music
box playing "Let's get it on" has also defaulted to on.  I guess its
nice to see house items getting some love.  *thumbs up Domino*

Coyote: I just hope
they're not scented. Can you imagine? I smell sex and....CANDles..here who’s
that loungin’ in my chair…

RadarX: Nothing says
mood for the ladies like a few candles and an entire wall of Lore and Legend
weaponry.

Coyote: Light up your
lust candle, turn the fire place on "burning hearts", lay her gently
on your Crafted Bare Skin Rug.......and then frantically explain to her why you
keep going..uh.."link dead".

 

There are now more amenities available in East, North and
South Freeport, including bankers, menders, and mariner's bells to summon
transportation in and out.  Similar amenities are now also available in North
and South Qeynos.  The Ironforge Exchange of Qeynos has also taken advantage of
the confusion to acquire the struggling business of Fhara's Furnishings in
North Qeynos, and has refurbished this building to be their new headquarters.

RadarX: Are there
are also complimentary bathrobes and breakfast available?  It's good to see
they are opening these cities up a little and making life simpler.

Coyote: Still waiting
on the Brothel folks....still waiting. The OLD Neriak. I got my 1 copper,
where's my lap dance?

RadarX: 1 copper? 
You might be able to find one in the Dwarf city area for that.

Coyote:  And the lap
part describes her body, not where she's dancing on yours..

 

Gigglegibber Goblins have expanded their lotto services to
the Antonica and Commonlands docks in the hopes of persuading Kunark-bound ship
travelers to try their luck (and take their coin...)

RadarX: Which
explains all the destitute people begging for coin on the docks...

Coyote: Screw the
gobbies, the Ant dock needs a catapult for all the times I'm 4 seconds late for
the boat. Hell, I'd PAY to use it.

RadarX: I'm
surprised they don't have these guys on the boats, in the druid rings, etc... 
Norrath isn't Nevada! 

Coyote: And Elvish
isn't dead! Get it? ELVISH? Eh? Eh.....nothing? Damn.

 

Bouncers Prud, Flerb, Fug, and Hurd in the Feerrott will
spawn 100% of the time now.

RadarX: Awwww but I
loved running circles in Ferrott for hours and hours.

Coyote: Little known
fact: Fug's last name? Lee.

RadarX: Little known
fact: All four were named after sounds.

Coyote: Little known
fact: Sounds recorded in a Taco Bell restroom.

RadarX: Annnnnd you
just HAD to push that line.

Coyote: Tengo un
walrus en mis pantalones.

RadarX:…um...you...you
have a walrus in your pants?

Coyote: Si!

 

Hostile maintained spells will now drop if there are no
valid targets in the area.

RadarX: But...if
there are no...what is it hitting?

Coyote: Guards
usually, which ya know. Makes'em cranky.

RadarX:
Guards...pfft. What do they do anyway? Ohhh look at me, I'm an Epic X4 on a
horse than call pull your spleen out your nose. 

Coyote: Feed on your
jealously, apparently.

 

 Increased the range of Power Ballad, Don't Kill the
Messenger and Fortissimo.

RadarX: I blame
Guitar Hero entirely for this...

Coyote: But in order
to cast them you have to push green, red, red, green and hold the strum on
yellow. Whammy bar is optional.

RadarX: Did you just
screw up the Fortissimo?

Coyote: What the hell
is a Fortissimo? BAND GEEK ALERT! BAND GEEK ALERT!

 

Reaver will now take health every 6 seconds instead of 3

RadarX: A nerf on a
Shadowknight?  That's like burning down OJ Simpsons house.  What else can you
do?

Coyote: Reaver? Ain't
logical. Cuttin' on his own face, rapin' and murdering - Hell, I'll kill a man
in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight...

RadarX: Who are you
fooling? You're totally a Reaver! I'm surprised your not eating human flesh as
we speak.

Coyote: Day ain't
over yet.

RadarX: You frighten
me.

 

EQII now supports the Logitech G15 Keyboard's LCD
display. You can enable/disable this option under Options->User
Interface->Game Features. The data sent to the LCD window is extremely
customizable.

RadarX: I'm
impressed they went this far out of their way to support a piece of hardware.

Coyote: "The
data sent to the LCD window is extremely customizable." Translation: Can
be used for hawt cyborz.

RadarX: Using the
LCD window that way has statistically shown to reduce your DPS by 50%.

Coyote: Plus you can
totally go blind like that. I have this one Cousin who-

RadarX: ..dude.

Coyote: WHAT??! I meant from staring into that little
light...and...um..

RadarX: Just say
goodnight Coyote.

Coyote: Goodnight
Gracie.

~End~