Another month passes bringing a new update for SOE's EverQuest 2 which is bringing us new dungeons, Guild Points, and a lot more. Why waste time digging through all these notes when Coyote and RadarX have done it for you. Who is selling their wood to anyone with a few coins and what resort do you not want to visit? Read on to find out!

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The Guild Hall building projects for Qeynos and Freeport have begun to run dangerously low on resources! Director Jasmine at the Antonica docks and Director Hezreal at the Commonlands docks are eagerly seeking workers willing to help alleviate the situation. During “Breaking Ground” (GU48): The Prophet of Healing, Seeress Ealaynya Ithis, has been murdered and Antonica appears to have been affected! Theories abound as to who performed the deed and towards what end. You may start your own investigation at the Temple of Life in North Qeynos. Meanwhile Evdokia, one of the Plaguebringer’s fervent followers in Gorowyn, has tasks for those willing to help the Disciples of Disease. Won’t she be delighted by the news of the Seeress’ demise!

RadarX: You remember when special events just used to 3 Devs as Treants on their lunch break slaughtering dozens of players?

Coyote: "Running low on Resources"? Great, now I have NPC's hitting me up for spare coin. Maybe if you stayed in SCHOOL you wouldn't be a dock worker.

RadarX: I'm still a little suspicious about these "Guildhalls" they are building near the docks. Can they be towed by ships and why are there bars on the windows?

Coyote: These guild halls are nice and all, but…does ANYONE else smell fish?

Once thought lost to the waters of the Lake of Ill Omen, the ancient iksar city of Veksar has once again been discovered by the adventurers of Norrath! What has happened in the ancient theater of this once thriving resort city since it disappeared after the Age of Turmoil, and what secrets and treasures does it hold now? Make your way to the outpost of Omen’s Call, and see if you can begin to unravel the mystery of this risen ancient monument to the pride and power of the Sathirian Empire.

RadarX: Resort? Someone actually built a resort city on the Lake of Ill Omen? ILL OMEN people. How much for the Apocalypse package?

Coyote: I just don't get it. We have luxury beds, a full sized pool and tennis courts. Why won't anyone come to the "Realm of Painful Death and Biting Ferrets Resort and Spa"?

RadarX: The full service spa includes Rlissian massage therapy guaranteed to remove any muscle pain by removing muscle altogether!

Coyote: Your happy ending is NOT getting a happy ending.

Guilds can now assign and track points for guild members. Points can be assigned in many different ways. New guild permissions determine which members can manage points and which members can receive points. For more information, check out the Guild Member Points help topic in-game by clicking on the help button (“?”) on top right of the Guild Window (U).

RadarX: Looking for more ways to determine who is less relevant in your guild? We have one!

Coyote: Or, if used properly - a numeric rating system of who gives the best cyber. Awww yeah.

RadarX: You just started your own guild didn't you?

Coyote: And gave myself a million points. Giggity.

First person view as a winter wolf is no longer disrupted by winter steam effect.

RadarX: The winter steam effect however is still caused by yellow snow.

Coyote: How bad is your breath when you can see it in the summer?

RadarX: Some people believe that is your virtual soul escaping.

Coyote: Others believe that you need a frigging tic-tac.

The barrier holding the doors of the Godking’s temple have weakened with the onset of the void storms, allowing entry even without the sacred eyes!

RadarX: Oh wow...they loosened up Godking. Eye farming is by far the most disgusting raid quest I ever did.

Coyote: Yeah, that was right up there with Tunare's "Squirrel King" demanding sacred nuts.

RadarX: You just HAD to go there didn’t you?

Coyote: Well..yeah. I was young and curious, and it was college – everyone was doing it.

Everfrost has had a facelift! Adventurers will find dozens of additional quests, four new hubs, and a population friendlier to various play styles.

RadarX: Keep checking back as Lavastorm will receive breast implants adding two new volcanoes to the area.

Coyote: I hear those Bertox injections are a bitch.

RadarX: Lycanthrosuction?

Coyote: Wolfman has nards! *snip* Well…had.

The alchemy merchant in South Freeport has begun stocking kindling as a sideline.

RadarX: Apparently they have run out of chalk to mark their football fields.

Coyote: So if you need someone to give you some wood, he's your guy?

RadarX: You need a guy to give you wood?

Coyote: It was COLLEGE! I was innocent and open minded! It doesn’t count!

Wood in Firemyst Gully is now fully harvestable.

RadarX: I probably just don't understand this one...but fully harvestable? Could you only take half of it?

Coyote: That's what SHE said! Eh? Eh? Innuendo Five, The Todd Style...

RadarX: Did…did you just make a Scrubs reference?

Coyote: *Stares off into space* Radar was wondering if I made a Scrubs reference as I pictured him in a man-hammock giving me a high five.

Adventurers in Veeshan’s Peak will now find that defeating certain bosses will earn various respawn points in the zone.

RadarX: If you don't defeat certain bosses, you won't get various respawns that take you to those other places.

Coyote: Vague much? Are we not allowed to say their names? Like we're suddenly fighting Voldemort?

RadarX: The only thing that would make this cooler is if the respawn points were random. Ohhhh I'm sorry you just respawned in the lava. Better luck next death.

Coyote: This is why the sorting hat put you in Slitherian.

RadarX: …this is why the sorting hat put you in an ASYLUM.

Coyote: You mean Azkaban.

RadarX: Wow.

Pattern drops in Veeshan’s Peak now use the Smartloot system.

RadarX: "Hi this is Onstar, how can we help you?" "Yeah...I locked myself out of this chest and.."

Coyote: Unfortunately most pick up groups will still be run by Dumbasses.

RadarX: Who can't even open a medicine bottle much less figure out a loot system.

Coyote: It’s all fun and games until the loot gets TOO smart. Then it’s “Daisy, Daisy” and “I can’t do that Dave”.

Mariner bells have been added to the Thundering Steppes and Nektulos Forest docks to take players back to Antonica and Commonlands, respectively.

RadarX: Holy this should have happened years ago Batman! Nice change.

Coyote: This news is so wonderful, I can't even mock it. I..I think I'm going to cry...

RadarX: It’s like …like Christmas.

Coyote: But without your one weird Uncle getting all shellacked on eggnog and making you sit on his lap for candy.

RadarX: …and the special moment has passed.

Mariner bell appearances have been added to the Neriak dock to help those who play on lower settings and couldn't see the portal glows.

RadarX: This ruins the fun game of "hot and cold" played with these folks.

Coyote: Unfortunately it'll still take them an hour and a half to zone because they have a crappy computer.

RadarX: The Compaq 486 was a fine machine in its day.

Coyote: Using those old Pong controllers to run through Neriak must be a bitch.

There is now a carpet to Sinking Sands on the Neriak dock.

RadarX: Man it is clear now. SOE hates Dark Elves and Neriak.

Coyote: But the carpet has pictures of bunnies and unicorns on it, so the Dark Elves still won't use it.

RadarX: It's ok...they didn't want go to stupid Sinking Sands anyway. It's for sell outs.

Coyote: If it wasn’t for pity sex and confused Goth girls named Midnight DarkMistress, Dark Elves would have gone extinct years ago.

You can now speak to Ulgofar Wisme in Mara and get another Geomancy book if you no longer have your first one.

RadarX: Ulgofar Wisem's friend Buk Steeler has mysteriously been providing extra copies.

Coyote: He's getting them from Buck Futter who pulls them out of his-

RadarX: HEY! HEY HEY! NONONONO!

Coyote:...bag of infinite books. Dude, you are PARANOID.

Rotten Chestwraps of the Guilty will now give credit to the priest who triggered it.

RadarX: He who smelt it, triggered it.

Coyote: Who will then blame it on his wolf pet.

RadarX: Who was hiding under his carpet to Sinking Sands.

Coyote: You mean STINKING sands! Ha! Flatulence Five, up high.

RadarX: Okay, enough with the Scrubs there Sally.

Assassins working on their epic who are not on stage 11 will no longer get quest credit for killing Rhylinil.

RadarX: Instead you'll never get your epic and spend the rest of your life wishing you hadn't procrastinated.

Coyote: You'll be shunned from raids and laughed at because without your Epic you only average a measly 600 billion DPS on parse.

RadarX: You can join the Dark Elves at the Sinking Sands carpet.

Coyote: Get a squirt gun that shoots grape jelly and form your own little band of misfit toys.

RadarX: Who would want a squirt gun that shoots…wait. You. Never mind.

Coyote: And a peanut butter bazooka. I’d be unstoppable AND tasty.

Captain Vrondell in West Freeport will now update "Bandit Sash Bounty" for non-Freeport citizens.

RadarX: He will however still spit in your face and tell you they don't take kindly to strangers.

Coyote: I dunno, chances are that if you're wearing a sash, you take kindly to strangers. REAL kindly.

RadarX: He gives you really good candy though...

Coyote: You just have to dig around in his pocket for it.

RadarX: Hey there paper boy…

Those who have finished ‘Deception’ will now have access to Darathar’s island.

RadarX: Those of you already there should stop following Tattoo around, the plane isn’t coming.

Coyote: Those of you who haven't, have been voted off. Now go take a shower.

RadarX: And brush the cricket legs out of your teeth, you’re creeping us out.

Coyote: Yeah, the council has voted that you floss.

The artisan's tunic reward for the trade skill tutorial quest no longer has the adventuring stats.

RadarX: Because WHY would an adventurer possibly need to craft...

Coyote: Because they're sick of having fun and desperately want to be frustrated and bored?

RadarX: Spoken like someone who has been murdered by a Loom...

Coyote: Face down in a pool of my own blood next to a scatter bag of Denmother’s Trail Mix.

In-home crafting stations are no longer flagged as Lore.

RadarX: So my dreams of owning 7 forges can now become reality!

Coyote: Yeah, but like on The Sims, you now risk catching on fire as your friends stand idly by and say things like "Frebashay".

RadarX: Now if I can only find a way to kill my pets in the swimming pool.

Coyote: When PETA puts a hit out on you, I’m gunna laaaaaugh.

RadarX: Please, who do you think is higher up on THAT list. Me or you?

Coyote: …touché.

The Diamond Rod from Shard of Hate now says “In Combat Run Speed” instead of “Speed at all Times”.

RadarX: Hehehe...Rod.

Coyote: I'll take "What they call Neil Diamond's dangler" for 400 Alex.

RadarX: Players were apparently on a performance enhancing rod that gave them an unfair speed advantage.

Coyote: Don’t ask how it was administered.

The Crystal of Dark Energy should now stack to 100.

RadarX: Am I the only person that thinks stacking "Crystals of Dark Energy" isn't a good idea?

Coyote: No, I'm pretty sure that the gelflings are against it too. GELFLING!

RadarX: Puppets get no rights.

Coyote: O is for Oppression.

Berserker: Juggernaut and Adrenaline have had their descriptions updated to match how they work while berserk.

Coyote: They just say "not well". Weird.

RadarX: Careful...don't make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

Coyote: Dude, I don’t like you when you’re HAPPY.

RadarX: Yeah, but “don’t make me happy” just sounds weird.

Coyote: Drunk. How about drunk? I like you when I’m drunk. And lonely.

Warlock: Gas Cloud and its upgrades are now maintained.

RadarX: This is why the Warlock is positioned in the back during raids...

Coyote: Seriously, it was that damn wolf pet! REALLY!

RadarX: Haha, no that was my sandals. They always make that sound. Watch. Seriously. They’ll do it again. They…no..really. It was my sandals.

Coyote: Well then your sandals need to stop eating broccoli you ripe bastard.

You can now betray and play the good classes in the evil cities and the evil classes in the good cities. In other words you can have a templar in Freeport or a brigand in Qeynos.

RadarX: I...but the good and the evil...with the...

Coyote: If I were a Star Trek computer, my head would have just exploded.

RadarX: Ok let's break this down logically. A Templar is good but goes to an evil city so...ok I just went cross-eyed.

Coyote: So if you’re evil, but playing a good class, and you do an evil deed, what..did..crap.

RadarX: Go cross-eyed?

Coyote: Neat! I can see in my own ears.

RadarX: We should end it here then before anymore damage is done.

Coyote: To us or to them?

RadarX: Yes. Say goodbye.

Coyote: Alright! Wrapping it up and saying good-bye five! Up high!

RadarX: I hate you.

Coyote: Most do.

~End~