A dwarf walks into a bar...



A good many jokes start with some variation on that theme, but it's no joke when you're unable to enjoy Dungeons & Dragons Online due to a few inconsiderate buffoons in the taverns. Darkgolem, in the guise of his gruff dwarf character, Thrumm, takes on the topic of tavern etiquette in an editorial that would make Emily Post proud.

As he walks into the tavern, Thrumm notices how crowded it is. Being a short stout dwarf, ordinarily overcrowding is a concern for him, but he has two advantages over the soft city-goers who would jostle him as they approach the bar. One is his massive axe, which he carries with the blade pointing out from his body, quite on purpose. It’s no coincidence that the 4-foot-long haft of the weapon projects over his shoulder into the air in front of him at an angle. It works great as a means of “accidentally” bumping some lily handed mage who is too deep in conversation about the metaphysics of Eberron to avoid coming between a dwarf and his beer. The other, less subtle advantage Thrumm has is his smell; a hill fighting warrior dwarf has more to worry about than simple cleanliness.

Read "Blessed too Much" and learn how to behave in a bar!