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"Why are geeks infatuated with aliens, UFO's and Area 51?"

The discovery of life on other planets becomes more and more possible with every inch that we roll over the surface of Mars, in what is arguably the COOLEST remote controlled car ever invented. And while it was crafted for the purpose of learning and exploring, you can't set aside (even for a moment) the fact that those people controlling it, are true geeks.

In fact, I bet the FIRST thing that the scientists operating the Mars Rover did when they confirmed that it was functioning correctly and that all systems were in check…

...was make it do an intergalactic donut.

At least that's what I would do.

And knowing the geek brain as we do, it really isn't that far fetched to envision. Men of science who have devoted their entire lives to studying the cosmos, learning the ways of the universe and overcoming the limitations of interstellar travel - just fighting over the joystick and claiming dibs on who gets to go "next". Pulling power slides and building ramps out the equipment that they sent up in order to dig up samples and analyze the Martian soil; completely forgetting the seriousness of their mission until their boss returns and yells at them to get back to work.

You have to remember that above anything else, the folks at NASA are geeks - and geeks love their toys.

Which is probably one of the many reasons that we are admittedly more than a little obsessed with life on other planets. The proof of an alien visitor means that the technology to safely navigate both space and time is not only real, but possibly available to us. So the sooner we can prove that aliens are real, the sooner we will theoretically get to fly a spaceship and maybe fire a laser at something.

But the promise of space ships and laser rifles doesn't come without a cost. If popular science fiction has taught us anything, it is that aliens will be arriving for one of two reasons:

Reason One: To destroy us.

This seems to be a pretty popular theory, backed by just about every "alien invasion" movie ever created. If the rest of the world is any barometer on the popularity of America, then the aliens will hate us too. Add that to the fact that we're littering the galaxy with defunct satellites and frozen astronaut carcasses while spelling out "EARTH RULES" on the Martian soil with our remote controlled monster truck...

And reason one looks a lot more probable than:

Reason Two: To sex us up.

If geeks love aliens for anything past getting to play with superior technology, it is the hopes that we'll get to make it with a three boobed alien chick who needs us to help repopulate her planet.

All alien photos look the same: Some big eyed, melon headed brainiac with tiny little arms and a soft, squishy body. Countless generations of devoting their lives to learning and exploring the mysteries of space have caused their bodies to wither away into a form that makes OUR geeky physiques look down right MUSCULAR.

Which means that we'll have a chance to do it with some hot alien chick who is all but begging us to load our photon torpedoes. We'll save the galaxy, get a chance to go all freaky-deeky and maybe glimpse a few peeks at her Area 51...

Which is ALSO subject to great debate and controversy. If you ask anyone with a television about this supposed alien stomping ground and they'll give you this canned response:

"Area 51 is a top secret military base where they hold alien space craft and test alien technology."

The problem is, NO it isn't.

Area 51 is not a hotbed of alien activity, regardless of what the conspiracy theory crowd will tell you while adjusting their tinfoil pyramid hats. And even if it once was, even if aliens DID crash there in the 50's, do you honestly believe that the government would continue its "work" in what is now a widely visited tourist trap? Still, there are some who will argue that if there aren't aliens there, why does the government keep the public out? What are they hiding?

Well, we have the answer:

Area 51 is a military base, and the reason that you will get arrested or possibly shot in the face for trying to sneak in while hoping to uncover the truth isn't because they've got E.T. in a holding tank...

It's because AREA 51 IS A MILITARY BASE.

I can't stress this enough.

There are no conspiracies, no alien ships being test flown, and no bodies on ice being autopsied and leaked onto the internet. Area 51 is a military base, where they do military things, like shooting people in the face who are hopping fences in hopes of catching a glimpse at a sex starved visitor from another planet. And while the guards there are probably a lot more lenient than others when it comes to catching people sneaking in, they are still highly trained military personnel with guns, who will if need be, shoot you in the FACE.

We don’t love Area 51, and if somehow we got clearance to tour it, I’m sure we’d be bored well before lunch. We’re not in love with the base:

We’re in love with the fantasy behind it.

Geeks love aliens, UFO’s and Area 51, not because we think or know these things to be real, but because the sheer possibility of it all comforts us. It means that we’re not alone in the universe, and somewhere out there is the possibility of a society that not only understands us, but accepts us. A utopia of learning and technology where we aren’t shunned for being gifted or different, but we’re instead accepted and welcomed as one of their own.

And then we totally get to get naughty with alien chicks Captain Kirk style.

-Coyote