DDO NPC Tells All: Interview with Three-Fingered Thad

By Ralsu

At Ten Ton Hammer, we bring you an interview from the Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach (DDO) community each month. For April, I wanted to bring you the inside scoop about Turbine's impressions of the two months since the North American release of DDO from Community Relations Manager Sporkfire and Community Relations Specialist Samera. Alas, we just weren't able to get all of our questions answered in time. Look for that interview in May! In the meantime, have fun with this tongue-in-cheek, self-reflexive interview with Three-Fingered Thad.

Ralsu: First of all, thanks for agreeing to this interview on such short notice.

Three-Fingered Thad: Y'arr!

Ralsu: Pardon me? Did you just scream at me like a pirate?

Thad: I'm sorry, lad. I guess I'm just a wee bit nervous, what with this being my first interview and all. Please ask me yer questions.

Ralsu: Um, yeah. So what's it like working for Turbine?

Thad: Oh, it's great. Turbine provides me with a few gold each week and a decent benefits package. The Union's working on getting the hours to be more manageable.

Ralsu: Benefits? I'm sorry--did you say Union?

Thad: Aye. That'd be the Harbor Worker's NPC [editor's note: non-player characters] Union of Stormreach.

Ralsu: Okay, what does the Harbor Worker's...Harbor Worker's--

Thad: Jus' call it the Union, lad.

Ralsu: Right. What does the Union seek to accomplish?

Thad: Ah, well it's quite simple really. See, we NPCs out in the Harbor never get breaks. No rest at all! I'm sitting by the same pile of crates near Lord Goodblade day in and day out. Since coming to Stormreach from Smuggler's Rest, I've had no time fer fun an' games. The Union is trying to get us harbor workers some relief. Our little group is growing. Why, Edrun Faern jus' up an' joined us last week.

Ralsu: Neat. You mentioned that you have no time for fun and games. What exactly do you do for fun?

Thad: Ah, well. Now le's see. I enjoy gamblin' of all kinds: dice, cards, racing--you name it. I'm also partial to mumblety-peg [editor's note: definition of mumblety-peg].

Ralsu: And that's how you lost one of your fingers?

Thad (flashing a grin from one ear lobe to the other): Aye, it was. But as I told ye at Stormeach Port, at least it proves my blades are sharp!

Ralsu: That reminds me, how does one become a vendor NPC?

Thad: All ye have to do is have somethin' to sell and a winning smile. (chuckles for a bit before starting to cough)

Ralsu. I see. And do you craft your wares yourself.

Thad: Craft 'em myself! Har! Er--no.

Ralsu (confused): ...

Thad: Now, why d'ye suppose it is called Smuggler's Rest, lad?

Ralsu: Oh. I see. Well, is it hard getting a job for Turbine as an NPC?

Thad: Eh. It's the usual. Interview, audition, fingerprinting, background check, salary negotiations--

Ralsu: Turbine did a background check on you?

Thad. Oh, aye, lad! Turbine wants to be sure as they got the real thing. I told 'em I was a dealer who could always stay in stock. It wouldn't look good on Turbine if I was to up and run out of weapons, now would it?

Ralsu: No, I suppose not. Are you the only NPC in DDO with...um (glances at Thad's mangled hand)...injuries?

Thad: What? Oh me? No! No,no, lad. Ye just need to look around a bit more. In fact, I heard that one of the members of a major house has a wooden leg under his robes, but I won't say who. Turbine doesn't care if ye got three fingers or six so long as ye get the job done.

Ralsu: And do you enjoy your job? Eh, aside from the lack of breaks out on the harbor, that is.

Thad: Oh, aye, I do. It's fun to get to scam--er, scam all of the new adventurers who land in Stormreach each day. They all have big dreams. Some make it. Some don't. I get to meet them all.

Ralsu: So no complaints?

Thad: Heh. Now I didn't say that, boy. I guess if there's one thing that needs to be said it's this: please, stop hopping around on my crates and my awning! It's not a playground, ye bunch of twitchy dogs.

Ralsu: I see. Well, thanks so much for your time, Thad.

Thad: Y'arr! Er, I mean yer welcome, lad.

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