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Which do geeks prefer, PC or MAC?”

I can say without doubt, fear of rebuttal, or well penned death threats in an Apple-only font: PC. All geeks prefer PC.

Why?

Because MAC *IS* a goddamn PC.

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PC stands for “Personal Computer” and while this is now used almost exclusively as a label for Windows based machines by people who sneer as they load up their Linux or flip open their iBook, the acronym still remains the same. So therefore the commercial should state:

“I’m a PC.”

“And I too am a PC, but I’m here to make you look like “the man” so that I’ll appeal to younger shoppers, stoners, and those annoyingly effeminate kids who wear black rimmed art school dropout glasses and order things like “Mochafrappachino Lattes”.”

But that wouldn’t exactly go over well with the target demographic, so instead the letters “PC” get attributed to Bill Gates and all things blue screen and/or death related, and those of us who hate computers on a universal level just sit back and let the propaganda continue. We’re kind of like Star Fleet in that regard.

We can observe, but never interfere.

Still, the question itself is valid – and subject to great controversy, which makes it a perfect topic of discussion in a place dedicated to higher learning and educating the masses such as this.

So what’s the answer?

Well, that’s tricky. You see MOST techs, users, operators, and people stuck on these damned devices for the majority of their day think that (for ease, we’re just going to say PC – because we’ve already lost the stoners) PCs are the best devices to work on. They offer the easiest repair options, compatibility with almost every piece of software, and if you know your way around an O/S, even the loathed Windows isn’t that bad.

Please note however that I stated that most techs THINK this – because almost none will admit it. It isn’t hip, trendy, or even safe to say something as bold as “Hey, I like my PC” because it will result in your peers immediately turning on you, calling you a sell-out, and mocking you for not using Linux, even if they themselves agree 100%.

PC users are supposed to be the sheep, and users who install Linux on *everything* including (I kid you not) toasters and refrigerators are the self proclaimed Gods among us, even though only 14 people world wide actually run it at home for leisure. As for MAC users?

Mac users are f***ing weird

Okay, as we are geeks I understand that it isn’t nice, right or accurate to stereotype as we are all cut from different molds and the river of diversity runs deep within us. But I’ve been in the computer game for a long time both professionally and recreationally, and that doesn’t make MAC users any less of a hemp wearing freak show.

Now, I know that in order to get past the negative imagery associated with MAC and all things Apple (that aren’t iTune related), a bit of marketing and public relations work is needed. They have to present MAC as being the only choice while trying to relate to a younger crowd because all of the old school “hardcore” MAC users are getting older and are soon expected in that big patchouli smelling “genius bar” in the sky. So they hit us with a couple of trendy commercials in which PC users are shown as nerdy and uncool, and MAC users are shown as this guy.

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What You See: Someone who is laid back, cool, and self confident. He doesn’t need to fit in with a crowd because he fits in on his own and makes his OWN crowd. He’s smarter than your average bear, but without any weird social faux pas that usually come with genius like severe bed wetting and the ever dreaded “booger fingers”.

What You SHOULD See: Someone who is laid back because he is stoned out of his goddamn MIND. Toking up and attending animal rights rallies while eating tofu is to MAC what funny tasting yet surprisingly good Kool-Aid is to Jonestown. Sure he’s smarter, probably more creative, and sees far more than your normal user, but he’ll remind you of it constantly as he breaks out his Elvis Costello CD’s and peels out of the parking lot in his environmentally safe hybrid, or Volkswagen Beetle.

And we’re STILL not ruling out “booger fingers”.

I’ve wanted to smack PC users because they are morons. I’ve wanted to beat them senseless with their own keyboards because they don’t deserve to use a computer and should be using those big green safety plastic encrusted Leap Frog machines…

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…but I’ve wanted to smack MAC users *just* for walking in the door.

And while again, I realize that this doesn’t apply to the whole, and that there are definite exceptions, cool MAC users, and people who don’t fit this admitted stereotype, those people are few and far between.

So to be so bold as to answer the question above and risk inciting a mass scale geek flame war, I answer this boldly and honestly:

PCs.

Geeks prefer PCs, because they play the most games, are the easiest to mod, repair, and fix, and are our personal gateways to all things porn. Let the flaming begin, I’ll be over here wondering why male MAC users tend to dress like front-row ticket holders at the Lillith Faire.

-Coyote