Ten Ton Hammer - Taking MMO Gamers to the Next Level!

Summoner: Dimensional Storage will now describe which pet the player has stored. If none are stored then a generic message is displayed.

RadarX: That generic message is "Hey moron, you don't HAVE a pet."

Coyote: “You currently have [114 Tom Cats] in storage. Also, your house smells like loneliness and pee. Have a nice day. Beeeeep.”

RadarX: Do you have to pay extra for air-conditioned Dimensional Storage? Is it open 24 hours a day?

Coyote: It’s just full of crappy couches that people don’t want to throw away and worthless paintings that “might be worth money someday”.

 

Bruiser: The offensive stance has been adjusted to better incorporate triggered effects.

RadarX: Group anger however has not been adjusted, and you will still be yelled at for trying to tank in this stance.

Coyote: And then you sob, run off, and buy another cat for Dimensional Storage.

RadarX: And air fresheners…lots of them.

Coyote: Because again, your house smells. Like pee. This is why no one ever comes to your Pampered Chef parties.

 

Pets will now inherit the critical mitigation of their owners.

RadarX: I'm a little surprised this hasn't come up before since TSO raid instances are big on Critical Mitigation.

Coyote: I’ve VERY surprised this hasn’t come up before since I have no idea what it means. The only thing you should inherit from your pets is a bad case of bird herpes. Hehe. Chirpes.

RadarX: How the hell do you know that birds get….right. The crane flocking.

Coyote: A moment of passion, a lifetime of molting, feather mites, and regret.

 

General damage and heal bonuses will no longer apply to triggered spells except with the profession spells which increase from +damage effects.

RadarX: This looks like a cleverly worded nerf...

Coyote: No, this looks like a poorly worded nerf designed to make the reader go cross-eyed before he can decipher what it actually MEANS.

RadarX: I think once someone sees “bonuses will no longer apply” they stop reading and start posting on the official forums.

Coyote: That’s assuming that the people who sob about nerfs on the forums CAN read.

 

An issue which was causing some multiple effect spells( typhoon ) to not properly add in additional damage has been fixed.

RadarX: Oh like Fury's were REALLY that upset. I mean how angry could a class name Fu...oh.

Coyote: Dude, trust me – you do NOT want to get a bunch of people who dress like giant animals just so that they can make grunty faces and get their “O” on, mad. They’ve got nothing to lose. NOTHING.

RadarX: Except their bravado sir. When you can dress like a blue turtle and try to pick up a slutty chick dressed like a rabbit? I call that…ok yeah Furries are creepy. I see your point.

Coyote: Avoid the rabbit chick. She might be great in the sack, but a month later she shows up at your door with 37 kids.

 

Group members can now use the /invite command to request that the group leader invite a player to the group. Just type /invite <playername>

RadarX: Yay! A new way to annoy the group leader! /invite guy next to broker /invite gold spammer

Coyote: Or ya know, you could just type “Hey DUMBASS, INVITE HIM ALREADY. WTF Helen Keller, you deaf AND blind? You can’t see that sh*t? Stop spanking it and let’s get this group GOING.” in group chat. Works just as well and has a more personal touch to it.

RadarX: Hey! Stop pasting our group chat in here or I’m leaving! I don’t WANT a guy named “Pharisbueller” in our group.

Coyote: So rename yer toon. HA! See what I did there?

 

Your entire group will not be zoned out of Scion of Ice when 1 person leaves.

RadarX: This was really annoying and I'm glad they fixed it.

Coyote: Wow. I said those exact words the day you got yer little RadarX-Baby-Makers stapled shut. Eerie.

RadarX: Ouch? As touching as your interest is I can’t really discuss my current plans for world domination.

Coyote: Yeah, I’m sure you’ll have a ball with that. Ooh..sorry, too soon?

 

Auto-follow: Your character will now swim up and down to follow the target underwater.

RadarX: If this change doesn't prevent people from being dumb enough to auto follow then I don't know what is.

Coyote: Swim down. Drop group. Watch the AFK person drown, giggle your ass off. I love this game.

RadarX: This is why they need to put you in the QA department. You’d spend months uncovering new ways to kill other players in a PvE environment.

Coyote: I’m the only Care bear in game with PvP kill stats on a PvE server. DIG it.

 

Players on auto-follow now follow up and down climbable walls.

RadarX: So not only can we drown people but if we're Scouts we can jump off cliffs too.

Coyote: Please, that is just silly. A GOOD scout could already do this BEFORE the patch.

RadarX: Yes I’ve personally seen these attempts. This is why we don’t follow you very closely, especially high up.

Coyote: I’m like Moses, leading people to the promised land. Only with more giggling, cursing, and people logging in frustration because I close the water as soon as I part it.

 

You may now /camp (and, incidentally, sit) while on auto-follow. If the person you're following moves (causing you to follow) your camp will be interrupted.

RadarX: You couldn't camp while on auto-follow? The things you learn after 5 years...

Coyote: … … Okay. Who the HELL spent time on this? Why did THIS need to be fixed? Why would you auto-follow someone if you were camping? I still can’t kill Fae with snowballs, but this – THIS you fix?

RadarX: This is definitely the WTF award winner for this update.

Coyote: UPDATE! You can now join a raid from the exit screen. Enjoy!

 

The camera will now re-center on the person you're following only when you're moving.

RadarX: Unfortunately that person is still a shirtless Kerran with a Viking helmet.

Coyote: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your mom stuffs dollars into my loincloth and calls me her big furry Daddy.

RadarX: No, I hate you because you won’t wear pants and keep missing the litter box.

Coyote: … …

RadarX: What?

Coyote: …I think we should see other people.

 

GUILD HALLS: Guild hall trophies can now be found on many high end raid bosses. Find them all and show off your might!

RadarX: So we can expect to see even more items auctioned in channel now.

Coyote: Translation: Sh*tloads of plat to be made on Broker! Start farming today!

RadarX: I’m all about having a well decorated guild hall but how much time do you really spend wandering around it? That is unless you are placing training dummies trying to annoy someone. However, if you spend 100+pp on an item like this? I don’t care if you have 2000pp, you are a moron.

Coyote: Show off your MIGHT! Show off your SKILL! Show off your….ability to bid on things.

 

The guild hall mender will now correctly remember the new coverage setting after it is changed.

RadarX: Wh...how does he just forget? Oh charge full price? I thought you said to keep it free!

Coyote: My kinda mender.

RadarX: Sounds like the mender got called into the boss’s office and had a final warning issued. What would he do if he got fired? Plumber maybe?

Coyote: Naw. He’d throw an X at the end of his name and make lame jokes involving plumbers in patch notes.

RadarX: Hehe. What a pathetic loser…hey…wait.

 

Paying upkeep on a house or guild hall now requires confirmation.

RadarX: For really expensive payments I could see that. Nobody likes to spend 10 trillion plat unnecessarily.

Coyote: “Are you sure you don’t want to live out in the streets with the other reeking hobos? [YES / NO]”

RadarX: The flip side of this though is what really gets harmed? Ok so you paid an extra weeks rent. If that is going to break you it might be time to move out of that deluxe guild hall and away from the East Side.

Coyote: I move every few months. I like to redecorate, the change of view helps the game stay fresh, and the smell of dead hookers in that weird little crawl space gets on your nerves after a while.