Ten Ton Hammer - Taking MMO Gamers to the Next Level!

Cloak of the Burning Dead has a new appearance.

RadarX: A lot more dead, a little less burning.

Coyote: And it’s faaaaabulous. Some feathers, a couple sparkles, and a sequin boarder and you go from Cloak of Drab to Cloak of FAB!

RadarX: Queer Eye for the EQ2 Guy?

Coyote: Lucan D’Lereberace.

Bonuses on the melee priest shard armor sets have been slightly upgraded.

RadarX: Hehe...melee priest. Their last words are always "I think I got this..."

Coyote: Melee Priests should be called by the name the groups give them. “Sit the F*** DOWN AND HEAL YOU DUMBASS!” has a nice ring to it.

RadarX: If your healer has time to DPS, you are pulling too slowly. Make him stop watching TV and get in the game.

Coyote: Hey Healy Healerton? You have one job on this ship, it’s stupid, but you’re gunna do it. Sit down, shut up and watch the bars or we’re gunna make you solo.

 

Bonuses on the raid acquired Coercer robes have been lowered to 1 additional Hostage trigger.

RadarX: That'll teach you guys to stop taking hostages.

Coyote: All right, pop quiz. Airport, gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover; he's almost to a plane. You're a hundred feet away... what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

RadarX: Shoot the Templar who is trying to melee?

Coyote: Yeah, but the moment you do that, Louis pops up and screams that you shot him.

RadarX: A Left 4 Dead reference? NICE!

Coyote: …friggin’ Louis.

 

You can no longer revive while your group is still engaged in pvp based combat.

RadarX: Ouch. No more zergs.

Coyote: The guy from 5th Element?

RadarX: What? No. Zerg, like in Starcraft?

Coyote: That text based game where you start in a field south of a house?

RadarX: Dude. That’s ZORK. Zerg, as in….oh…wow. You sir are an ass.

Coyote: The snake from the forbidden fighting style?

RadarX: … …

 

The infamy system has been adjusted. You no longer lose infamy when you die. However, your infamy will slowly decay over time. Also, a new title has been added.

RadarX: You no longer lose infamy, just respect.

Coyote: A new title has been added as you decay over time. We call it “The Stink-tastic”.

RadarX: This is an interesting change to me. You really don’t hear a lot about PvP these days. I think it’s mainly because all the developers working on it are kept in a secure government facility.

Coyote: For their safety or ours? Friggin’ psychos.

 

Assassin: The Shadows line has a small hate reduction component now.

RadarX: This will not however affect raid members who you keep out DPSing and they will still hate you.

Coyote: And your stupid little hood.

RadarX: What is with that hood anyway? It just screams Middle-Eastern swordsmen. I want to pull out a revolver and shoot them.

Coyote: And then Louis screams again and you get frustrated and kill him on purpose. F***ing Louis.

 

Necromancer: Grim Lifetap will now do poison damage instead of heat.

RadarX: This seems to make sense but will the Lifetap still remain grim?

Coyote: No sir. It is “happy poison”.

RadarX: Putting a smiley face on crossbones does not make it “happy.”

Coyote: I’d drink it.

RadarX: I’d buy.

 

Paladin: Divine Favor has been adjusted to no longer have any penalties and to better help the paladin after almost dying.

RadarX: So this ability is going to see a LOT of use.

Coyote: By the seven Paladins still in game.

RadarX: Wait…does being strictly a Paladin ability count as a penalty? If so this note isn’t accurate.

Coyote: No, being a Paladin counts as a penalty.

 

Redemption now has a 15m range like their other taunts.

RadarX: There is no saving souls outside a 15m diameter circle. This is awesome.

Coyote: The diameter circle is for the loading and unloading of souls, please stay within the diameter circle.

RadarX: I can’t wait to see this in action. “Well I tried to save you but you were 16 meters away.”

Coyote: DAMN YOU METRIC SYSTEM! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

 

Ranger: The Blame Arrow line has had its hate gain modifiers reduced but they now improve with the tier of the spell.

RadarX: 5 Rangers just quit without even reading the entire note.

Coyote: Oh no! Who will solo all of the 3-up mobs I can’t kill NOW?

RadarX: The Illusionists.

Coyote: Blame arrow. I’ll take “What you claim to have distinctly saw when every mob in the zone aggro’d because of your actions.” For 200 Alex.

 

Rogue: Lie Low line is now faster casting.

RadarX: I'm personally excited about this one because it saves my butt when I'm attacking the wrong tar...I mean the stupid tank isn't taunting enough.

Coyote: All. My. Friends. Use the Low Lie..er.. Low. Lie. Er…is a little faster.

RadarX: Wrong…on so many levels.

Coyote: LIE LOW…you brought to my knees, Lie Low, I’m beggin’ darlin’ please…

RadarX: THIS is why we won’t let you roll a bard.

 

Swashbuckler: The Blame Blade line has had its hate gain modifiers reduced but they now improve with the tier of the spell.

RadarX: It sounds like Swashbucklers, always trying to blame someone else for what they are doing.

Coyote: It isn’t whether you win or lose. It’s how you lay the Blame.

RadarX: Wrong. Now if they’ll only take away hate transfers, the circle will be complete.

Coyote: Even if they take it away, you’ll still always have MY hate.

 

Representative Purrla from the Far Seas Trading Company is seeking help from the cities' tradeskill societies! Tradeskillers level 40+ may wish to assist.

RadarX: Oh NOW you want my help? Where the hell have you been for the last 4 years?

Coyote: If Purrla is a Kerran I’m going to quit and play WoW. Why do all the Kerrans have to have such “clever” names?

RadarX: There is no need to get upset meow. You just shut your meowth and carry on.

Coyote: Did you…did you just say meow?

RadarX: Did I just say meow? Do I look like a Kerran to you boy? Am I hoppin’ around Shar Vahl all nimbly-pimbly? Am I drinking milk from a saucer?

Coyote: No…but you do spend hours licking yourself smart ass.

 

Armorers, woodworkers, and jewelers have improved their recipes, and can now make improved versions of tradeskilled shields and secondary items. Old shields and secondary items that already exist will not be affected, only new ones created henceforth.

RadarX: I'm interested to see what the Jewelers end up with. I'm assuming Woodworkers are getting better totems? Upgraded chairs?

Coyote: Hehe…they sit in the back…working their wood. Hehehe..

RadarX: Why are you laughing at Woodworkers? It take balls to follow that profession.

Coyote: Hehe…especially when they get the shaft. ASP TO MOUSE! Hehe..

 

The Far Seas Supply Division has learned of another mission where a group of talented tradeskillers may be sorely needed. Madria Varas will have details of the new mission once they are available.

RadarX: No! You've had your chance. I'm not making you anything.

Coyote: Settle down Betty Crocker, no one is asking you for your secret recipe just yet you giant friggin’ Nancy.

RadarX: Oh I see how it is. No fresh Biscotti for you mister.

Coyote: Biscotti doesn’t know, so don’t tell Biscotti…

 

Tradeskillers with their epic earrings may soon find more red collectibles if they look in the right areas…

RadarX: And the right area is...the Station Cash menu? Too soon?

Coyote: HAHAHAHA. “And you can put it on your new SMEDITCARD.” (Approval required)

RadarX: We are so getting barred from any future Fan Fairs.

Coyote: Yeah, my Smedit-Rating just dropped into the red. Hehe…

 

You can now drag equipment from your appearance slots to the macro window.

RadarX: Why the hell would you need to do this? Are people really macroing their clothing?

Coyote: I don’t think you fully appreciate how quickly people need to look pretty sir.

RadarX: Oh no sir I do. I just don’t’ respect it. Bored Templars are doing this in their down time.

Coyote: SIT. THE. F***. DOWN. AND. HEAL!

 

The raid window has a new ‘Advanced’ mode that will display effect icons for all members of the raid. Right-click the raid window to switch views.

RadarX: Great. We don't have enough griping that "I'm missing <insert buff>" but now they can complain OTHERS don't have it either.

Coyote: Oooh. No more claiming to be stunned while waiting to see what direction the fight is going to go before engaging. Crap.

RadarX: Yeah I prefer an honesty policy. Why didn’t I attack? Oh you guys were so screwed.

Coyote: Wh..what happened? I got lag. No….really.

 

Fixed a bug in the raid window sometimes causing users to not be drag-able.

RadarX: Did you ever think maybe we don't LIKE being dragged? Huh?!

Coyote: Naw. Everyone knows that you love Drag. LOVE it. Can’t get enough of it. Crave Drag nightly. Hell, some might even call you a Drag Qu…

RadarX: Oh but this note says we are ALL drag-able now…so we can do each other’s hair and nails now!

Coyote: I’ll bring the snake if you have the rat. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

 

The carat in text boxes will no longer render if the EQII client doesn’t have focus.

RadarX: I have no idea why there are issues with carats rendering but it's making me hungry.

Coyote: Which explains your one remaining “lucky” tooth, “Chopper”, you diamond eating freak.

RadarX: I’m from the South! My teeth are SUPPOSED to look like that!

Coyote: … … I … I can’t top that.

 

UI Settings files are now stored in a new XML format. Existing INI files will be converted the first time a character is logged in.

RadarX: I vote this the lowest impact patch note of the update.

Coyote: Yet we comment on it. This just looks like a bored dev who has been trapped working without human contact for too long. At the bottom of the patch notes there’s a cell phone number and a “call any time! Really!” note.

RadarX: So THIS is where they moved the last Matrix Online developer!

Coyote: He should have taken the blue pill, and by blue pill I mean cyanide.

 

Appearance slots for primary, secondary and ranged weapon slots have now been activated! In addition to the requirement that you must be able to use the item, it must also use the same skill as the item equipped in your normal slot.

RadarX: Oh good this means we can expect people to start need rolls on crap they won't use so they can look different. Ahaha you are carrying a giant wooden soup spoon! So clever!

Coyote: LOOK! LOOK! I have a ROLLING PIN! AHAHAHAAAA…this is why I’ve never kissed a girl.

RadarX: And wear no shirt. Don’t fo…wait you are going to make fun of my Witch Hunter hat aren’t you?

Coyote: No Miles Standish, you look awesome in your Station Cash hat. Ask any of the other Pilgrims you small pox breeding ass.

 

For example, you may only use a Great Axe in your appearance slot if you are also wielding a Great Axe in your equipment slot.

RadarX: Ha I spoke too soon! Restrictions to you all!

Coyote: No Soup Spoon for you! Back of line!

RadarX: Wow I think we are actually done and I’m only partially disturbed.

Coyote: …oh…I think you’re fully disturbed.

RadarX: Yeah…we’re gunna get letters.

Coyote: Assuming anyone actually reads this.

RadarX: Touche.

Coyote: I’ll show you on the doll where he touche’d me…

RadarX: Aaaaaand we’re done.

Coyote: *sobs* and he said there would be ice cream…

~End~