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We watch them on television, we fight against them in video games, and as a society we use them as entertainment and distraction.

But do we ever really consider the quiet, shambling wisdom of the zombie?

The most socially accepted “bad guy” in the modern world, zombies accept this role with surprising dignity and a quiet understanding that does nothing but prove their ever lasting patience.

Like a caring parent smiling down upon a rowdy child, or a mentor instructing a confrontational student, zombies never get angry, they never lose their calm, and most importantly of all; for all of our short comings, they never stop wanting to be with us.

And I for one think that it is truly a thing of beauty.

In a word, zombies have “evolved”. They have grown past their human failings and could arguably be a visual representation of evolution, the next step in our journey of growth. They have fought through, and overcome the restrictions and limitations that hinder us, the living, daily – and they want to share that peace with those around them that they love.

So what makes a zombie so wise? So truly great?

Their ability to overcome.

Social And Political Unrest – You will never see a Zombie pick up a gun. Not in anger, not in the name of justice, not ever. There has never been a real world recorded instance of a zombie using a gun to defend himself, even when the odds are stacked against him AND he has quick and easy access to the weapon.

Now you might be thinking:

“That’s because they lack the fine motor skills required to fire a weapon, plus they have no concept of what a “gun” is having lost all forms of relational thinking.”

You’d be wrong.

Fingers nimble enough to pick up tiny forms of life such as birds, mice or a handful of baby kittens…

…are more than capable of pulling a trigger on a weapon.

Zombies simply refuse to do it.

They know that nothing good can come from using a gun instead of words. They moan in constant turmoil, tormented by the fact that despite their almost peaceful resistance, we still continue to use bullets instead of hugs. Yet they still try to embrace us. Arms out-stretched, faces blank of any malice or resentment, they step forward in an offer of harmony, despite KNOWING that their efforts will be shot down…

…or possibly decapitated with the sharpened end of a shovel.

“They’re not trying to HUG us you moron, they’re trying to EAT us!”

Are they?

Are they REALLY? Do you know this for sure or are you simply following the constant stream of social dogma that is used to slander their ideals and beliefs? Who are you to determine their motive when we have never truly accepted their outstretched hand in compassion? Zombies want to free your mind, and if in doing so they chew on it a BIT, is that really such a hefty price to pay for society climbing towards unity?

Free your mind.

Racism – Zombies are truly the most “color blind” among us.

Black, white, Asian, or even some dirty freak from Chad, zombies don’t care about what shade you are. They look past the color of your skin and instead focus on what REALLY counts…

…what’s INSIDE.

And can any of us say the same?

As a society, racial stereotypes that have been perpetuated by hatred, insecurity, and even the media are something that we must all overcome as individuals. From the morons in the white sheets burning crosses in an effort to show their dominance, to those who want to see racism in everything from video games to cereal boxes, (What color *IS* Count Chocula? And until we know, can we be offended?) we struggle daily against outside influence to determine for OURSELVES, what is truth and what is ignorance.

But not the zombie.

Zombies accept all races equally.

They don’t care about where you were born, or how much pigment your skin contains – they just want you to join them in peace and harmony. To this day there has never been a SINGLE case of discrimination documented among Zombie Americans.

Not a *single* case.

Do you even realize how truly rare or amazing that is? In a world where everyone reserves the right to be offended, or where people knowingly present themselves as a barrier against the norm for no other reason than to test the waters of tolerance, zombies have *NEVER* had a single citation brought against them. No one is ever excluded, and no one has ever been left out or over looked.

Proving, once again, that our world CAN be a beautiful place, if we’d let it.

Cultural Disagreements – Nothing unifies the system of cultural belief, and promotes understanding and acceptance like becoming a zombie.

Ask a Hindu zombie how he feels about cows, a Middle Eastern zombie about land wars and borders, or a French zombie about cheese and surrender, and you will get the same unified answer each and every time…

…they’ll try to bite you.

And if they do? Before they CAN? Statistics say that you’ll try to pull away. That you will knowingly and willingly avoid being bitten out of ignorance and a misguided loyalty to your current cultural belief system.

“What? NO! I just don’t want to be BITTEN, OR become a f***ing ZOMBIE.”

A “f***ing zombie”.

Can you even hear yourself? You are so wrapped up in your need to be culturally “right” that you read into their actions before experiencing them, just because you “know” that they are wrong. You “know” without ever looking at the world through their eyes, (provided that they have two eyes, and one wasn’t somehow ripped out or destroyed, which in case we’ll say “eye” as not to offend) or even for a moment pretending that you want to understand.

Would you shy away from an expression of love? A moment of praise? Would YOU ever offer them the same unhindered acceptance that they are reaching out to you for? No. You stubbornly hold onto whatever individual culture you’ve come to embrace without consideration or respect for their attempts at social unity.

And yet, they still accept *you*.

So the next time that you laughingly “kill” a zombie in a video game, or find yourself enjoying a movie in which these peaceful ambassadors of understand are destroyed, stop and ask yourself why you REALLY find their destruction so amusing…

Is it because you hate them?

Or is it because you hate what they show you in yourself.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and take care of this bite that is festering on my arm and has absolutely nothing to do with this article or the contents expressed within.

Really. At all.

-Coyote