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Vacation Time!

We’re off to the infamous Comic Con!

Where dreams are made, hopes are realized and wishes are granted – but no one gets to enjoy them because they’re stuck in some f***ing line behind some asshat with a blackberry who thinks that the world is his own private little phone booth.

And what will I be doing in the week that I’m taking off?

Well, aside from dressing like a zombie, going to a ton of parties, and dusting off the old Fire Poker costume for the Evil Job Faire, hosted by many – including the Evil League of Evil…

I will be getting drunk, spending way too much money on souvenirs that get broken before I even get them home, and hopefully throwing room parties in which the police arrive to tell us to shut the hell up. Right before they recognize me as “That creepy guy who was maced by like 36 Booth Babes”.

I can’t wait, and in starting off the vacation correctly – I even met the legendary Adam West.

He signed my 1966 Batmobile Hot Wheels car, and confided in me that he had to pee, because as it turns out – he’s not playing a character on Family Guy.

That’s really him.

They just follow his crazy ass around, recording whatever he says, and then they draw the cartoon around it. He’s arrogant, impatient, senile, and hates the general public. Which of course instantly makes him one of the coolest old guys ever.

We’ll be back next Wednesday with all new columns, articles, and mug shots – provided that they can be viewed outside of trial evidence.

Until then, you’ll just have to sate yourself on the sexiness that IS the revamped Fire Poker costume.

Oh, is that a pressure switch operated hand held personal flame thrower?

You bet your sweet ASS it is.

I might be a dork, but at least I’m a SHAMELESS F***ING Dork.

See ya in a week folks.

(Or on the 6 o’clock news, which is honestly more likely.)

- Coyote