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Reloading... Pro Cooking with Arxkanite - Gamer Dirt

Posted Wed, Jul 27, 2011 by Arxkanite

Welcome to the 45th Edition of Reloading...

Welcome back to another exciting edition of Pro Cooking with Arxkanite! Last time, I showed you all how to make the Potentially Exploding Texas Grilled Cheese Sandwich of Doom™. This time however, I’m going to make my girlfriend’s favorite dish, something she affectionately calls “Dirt.” However, many people may argue that a better name is “Mud”.
 
Anyway, today we’re going to be making a variation of Dirt. I have scientifically formulated this dirt into what I call “Gamer Dirt.” It’s specifically designed to saturate your blood stream with as much sugar as physically possible. Gamer Dirt is perfect for long stretches of late night gaming, and will give you the advantage you need to grind your opponents into the... er... dirt. However, you should be warned that in some individuals the sugar content is so high, that you may gain temporary telepathic or precognitive abilities.
 

Here is what You’ll Need:

●     4 Cups of Milk
●     1 Package of Oreos (any flavor)
●     2 Packages of Instant Pudding Jell-O (any flavor)
●     2 packages of Gummy Worms
●     Zip-Lock bag.
●     Medium Bowl
●     Whisk
 
I like the Chocolate Oreos, 1 package of Chocolate Fudge Jell-O, and 1 package of Oreo Jell-o.
 

Step 1

Simply mix together the milk and two packages of Jell-O with a whisk for 2 minutes. The secret is to use about 20% less milk than the Jell-O recipe calls for to make sure our dirt is nice and thick. For the flavors I chose, use a total of 4 cups of milk.
 

Step 2

Take the entire package of Oreos and put them into a large Zip-Lock type bag. Smash the living hell out of the Oreos until you get a nice consistency.
 

Step 3

Now, just mix in both packages of gummy worms and the mashed up Oreos into the pudding mix and you’re done! Since we used less milk then we should have, by the time your done with the recipe the pudding will be set and ready to eat. This makes like 20 servings for “normal people”, but will yield only 1 serving for the average gamer.
 

Tips

Feel free to add in whatever ingredients you want. Maybe chunks of snickers bars or something. Too bad they don’t make chocolate flavored liquid caffeine I could add in. That would be amazing! Please share with Ten Ton Hammer if you come up with any cool combination of ingredients to add in.
 
 
WARNING! An entire bowl of Gamer Dirt  contains over 500 grams of sugar. Consumption of an entire bowl in one sitting will cause diabetes, obesity, heart disease, and death. But at least you’ll game like you’ve never gamed before!

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