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  • RYL bad apparently. You can win $1 million though.
    GameSpot has reviewed Risk Your Life. The Bare Naked Ladies wrote "If I had a million dollars", but not this:

    "What the player-versus-environment game does provide are scores of critters and creatures of steadily climbing strength for you to carve through as you go. You won't have any indication of how strong a monster is, relative to you, until you actually go up and hit it, though the creatures move slowly enough that you can usually run away from them (or right past them) fairly easily. However, most of the time you'll just need to find the strongest foe you can dispatch comfortably and grind patiently away until you've leveled up and can move over a little bit to attack the next-strongest foe. The game supports both a mouse-based (click to move) and a keyboard-based (WASD and mouse-look) system of movement; both movement systems feel sluggish and imprecise, though this weakness fortunately doesn't extend to the combat."

    You can read the entire Risk Your Life Review at GameSpot.

    Wed, Jul 13, 2005
  • Industrial Light and Wookies.
    WorthPlaying has reviewed Star Wars Galaxies: The Total Experience. These are not the words you are looking for:

    "Star Wars Galaxies takes place between Episodes IV and V in the original movie trilogy, so despite the destruction of the Death Star, the Empire is far from defeated. After the obligatory opening credits explaining your situation, the character generator pops up. A healthy mix of races is available to choose from, including the all-around humans, reptilian Trandoshans, mighty Wookiees, and the often-mentioned-but-never-seen Bothans."

    You can read the entire Star Wars Galaxies: The Total Experience Review at WorthPlaying.

    Tue, Jul 12, 2005
  • Please, please for the love of Pete, somebody tell us if Guild Wars is any good.
    Gaming Excellence has posted a review of Guild Wars. They made a warrior/monk and then wrote this:

    "While Guild Wars may have been a game that came out of nowhere for many of us, it in no way makes it lacking in quality. In fact, I am hard-pressed to find any PC game that has shipped recently that feels more solid and complete out of the box. From its quick installation (2 disc install that does not require any play disc afterwards) to its fantastic Guild Wars Manuscript; a 144-page book that painstakingly details the world of Guild Wars, you will find yourself wowed from the start. The first time you launch the game, you will also be taken aback by how quickly the login screen pops up and afterwards, how quickly it loads all the gaming worlds. Creating a character is painless and once you actually launch the game, it is truly amazing to behold. All of Guild Wars’ information is server side and the game automatically streams required updates and installs them transparently to the user in a matter of seconds. I have never seen a game load faster, on PC or console, than Guild Wars and it may not mean much to many, but waiting to play when you don’t have hours in front of you is important to me. The internet code is fast, lag-free and optimized brilliantly."

    You can read the entire Guild Wars Review at Gaming Excellence.

    Mon, Jul 04, 2005
  • Blue pill fever. has a review of The Matrix Online posted. We're nearly sure that Neo had no part in the writing of this:

    "When I jack in, I am in the Matrix. The terminology used, the skill
    system, the events: these are the Matrix. However, it's really not the
    game itself that has succeeded in creating the Matrix Online. It's the
    combination of live events and the offline elements. Newspapers are
    sent to my email regarding what is happening in the Matrix. If I have
    signed up for their IM service I can speak to people in the Matrix
    while not in myself (and vice versa). A radio station was developed by
    players - Radio Free Zion - and was just incorporated into the game.
    Live Events of the highest caliber - performed by professional actors -
    occur at regularly scheduled intervals for days at a time. Summaries of
    the events are posted daily - sometimes multiple times per day - from
    the perspective of players, characters such as Morpheus (who was
    recently killed), or from the various factions like the Machines,
    Zionites and Exiles (Merovingians). Event summaries are posted in a
    very timely manner and then again sometimes weeks later you'll find
    another clue about what happened that will simply make your head swim.
    Add to that, short cinematics that often include the Oracle and you
    feel like you've found your spot inside the raining green code."

    You can read the entire The Matrix Online Review at

    Thu, Jun 30, 2005
  • Risk your life for $1,000,000.
    A Risk Your Life review is posted at 1UP. A little bird told a gypsy who told us that they wrote this:

    Not quite, exactly. Despite having a reviewer's guide and an electronic copy of the manual, I decided to try to learn the game the way you'd have to learn it should you elect to download it rather than purchase the boxed copy. That is by marching in chin first, creating a character (a fighter, for simplicity's sake), kicking booty and (if you're crafty like me) searching through the various forums at"

    You can read the entire Risk Your Life Review at 1UP.

    Mon, Jun 27, 2005
  • A Guild Wars review, can you believe it?
    Guild Wars has been reviewed at Computer Games Online. We are relatively certain that Microsoft has not decided to call their next edition of Windows OS:

    "One resemblance between the above mentioned titles and Guild Wars is the ability to support simultaneously hundreds of thousands of players, but the main difference here is that Guild Wars is made up entirely of two types of instances. Cities act as meeting locations for the players. Each city is divided into districts, which can accommodate a maximum of 150 players. If this number is topped, a new district will be created and vice-versa. As you can see, the limited number of players in an area negates the “massively” characteristic, which is specific to other MMORPG’s, making the cities act like instances. On the other hand, you can meet your friends by joining the same district, and if they are on a different server - North America, Asia (South Korea) or Europe - you can choose one of the international districts."

    You can read the entire Guild Wars Review at Computer Games Online.

    Mon, Jun 27, 2005
  • Guild Wars, reviewed yet again, but with a twist.
    Firing Squad has reviewed Guild Wars. Legal theorists are at a complete loss to explain as to why Jay Leno would
    have to testify as to the following:

    "Rushing to pick the game up, complete with the little EB special weapon, I logged in, created a few characters, wandered around, read about the introduction and how the real gameplay doesn’t begin until after the searing (typically level 3-6). After that, I could group with 4 or more people on missions and quests as I leveled my way to 20, which was only the first half of the game – then I could continue gathering skills, defend my guild hall or attack others’. Those times when my guild wasn’t on, I could adventure with AI compatriots.

    By the end of my first night, I was bored to tears."

    You can read the entire Guild Wars Review at Firing Squad.

    Fri, Jun 24, 2005
  • If Neo can do anything, can he make a rock that is too heavy for him to lift?
    PC Gameworld has a review of The Matrix Online posted for your blue pill pleasure. We slowed down time, dodged bullets and made friends with the machines just so we could tell you that they probably wrote this:

    "Combat is pretty entertaining at first. When you engage an enemy in hand-to-hand combat, the camera pans in and things take on much more of a fighter-game style. You queue up attacks and watch as they are displayed on the screen. The martial arts are impressive and seem varied; each battle appears like its own individual fight… until the fifteenth or sixteenth fight. After that it's pretty much the same moves over and over. Obviously it can't be different every time, but the sparkle does fade and fights get dull."

    You can read the entire The Matrix Online Review at PC GameWorld.

    Wed, Jun 22, 2005
  • How many Night Elf rogues does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    World of Warcraft Battlegrounds has been given the once, twice, three times the charm treatment at GameSpy. They might have even written this:

    "We've been to Warsong and Alterac and lived to tell the tale, now two of GameSpy's WoW PvP veterans relate their war stories."


    You can read the entire World of Warcraft - Battlegrounds After- Action Report at GameSpy.

    Thu, Jun 16, 2005
  • MMORPG - No Fee.
    Bit-tech has joined the flood and reviewed Guild Wars. They wrote this, maybe:

    "Forget what you know about MMORPGs, because Guild Wars takes the concepts and throws them out of the window. Number One: there are no fees to pay each month. You pay for the game upfront, like any other game, then you play it online as much as you want. Number Two: forget spending ages on mundane tasks like sleeping, or healing, or crafting. In Guild Wars, you spend more of your time questing and less of your time fiddling. Number Three: don't worry about queuing to take on big quests. You won't be sharing them with others."

    You can read the entire Guild Wars Review at Bit-Tech.
    The best Guild Wars community on the InterWeb is only a click away at

    Thu, Jun 09, 2005
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