I've been able to play about six hours of Oblivion. There is no massive, well except for the massive world and massive amount of content. There is no multiplayer, well except for, no, there really is no multiplayer. There isn't even collaborative multiplayer.
Six hours is hardly enough time to give an opinion on a game of this scope, but I'll do it anyway. That's what I do, I pass on misinformed opinions to you, who then passes them on to others, who pass them on until they become informed opinions. It's a self fulfilling prophecy that whatever is written here will eventually become the defacto opinion in the MMO industry.
Ha! You want proof? I once wrote that EverQuest 2 was a better game than World of Warcraft and as you are all aware, we are screaming down that rail like a nuclear powered freight train. Just 5.6 million more subscribers to go!
But back to Oblivion for a moment. If the first six hours are any indication of how good this game is then it is worth far more than the $49.95 I paid for it. That said, we cover MMOGs here at TenTonHammer.com and Oblivion doesn't cut it. It may be a great game, but as a MMOG it gets a 1/10. If any of the hate-mailing, sniveling non-MMO players out there who read this column have another game they would like me to rate I'd be happy to.
I have to post this column and get my 1/10 for Oblivion rating off ot Bethesda for their "Press Page". Maybe I'll get mentioned on the box?
Questions, comments, verbal diarrhea? (.mp3 format if you want bonus points in the swag give away) Send them in.
What's New On TenTonHammer.com?
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- World of Warcraft: Starting Region Guide - Dun Morogh
"For those of you eager to get out of the starting region and on to the rest of the game, we offer a new series of guides dedicated to the starting regions of Azeroth. The first offers a map and a walkthrough for the 26 quests found in Dun Morogh, the starting area for all gnomes and dwarves."
- Warhammer Online: Exclusive Screenshots
"Today Mythic released even more Screenshots for us to throw our to the public! This “Media Blast” has been thrown up on the main site as well as on the Warhammer Online Site. We also have 3 Exclusive Warhammer Online images for the TenTonHammer network."
- Lord of the Rings Online: Race Guide - Man
"When Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar goes live, players can be sure that humans will the most diverse race in both appearance and profession. Additionally, players will be able to help men play out their pivotal roles in the War. Our latest race guide discusses humans and their role in Middle-Earth."
- Guild Wars: PvP Elistism - The New Small Man on Campus
"With this editorial, we're introducing a new contributer to Guild Wars @ Ten Ton Hammer. A long-time member of the Guild Wars community, Tap volunteers his take on the most insidious problem lurking in our game--elitism in the upper echalons of PvP."
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"Ark Bay 313 is where all new recruits to Hestia Corporation'sfreelancer program begin. It serves as the first zone any new Humanplayer visits. We have a full walkthrough on this mini-highway,including maps and quest details. So grab your keys and hop in yourride, it's Scav crushing time!"
- World of Warcraft: Orc / Troll Starting Region Guide
"Yesterday at WoW - TenTonHammer, we looked at the dwarf / gnome starting zone of Dun Morogh. Today it's only fair that we look at where orcs & trolls begin their journey: Durotar. This extensive guide describes the best way to work the 29 quests found in this level 1-12 starting region, and includes a touched-up map, some important tips for new adventurers, and even a little bit of lore! Quests are fun, but backtracking isn't. Thinking of rolling an orc or troll alt in World of Warcraft? Just starting out? Let us streamline your early experience with the WoW @ TenTonHammer "Durotar" starting region guide!"
- Ten Ton Hammer Podcast - Episode 2 is Live!
"This week's news, the World of Warcraft 1.10 patch aftermath, more City of Villains Issue 7 coverage, and a look at one of the most recently announced MMOs-in-development, Warhammer Online round out this week's TenTonHammer Podcast, Episode 2!"
- Dungeons and Dragons Online: Newbie Know-How - Creating Your Character
"With several people already logging in to play Level 10 characters, Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach (DDO) can be daunting for the complete newbie. Things as simple as character creation and navigation are intimidating tasks when playing and learning the mechanics of a game for the first time. Our Corso wants to help."
- Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - New Artwork - Blood Mage
"It's Thursday and that can only mean one thing.... a new piece of artwork. This week's piece is of the Blood Mage."
Vin Diesel Fact of the Day:
Vin Diesel doesn't get paper cuts. Paper gets Vin Diesel cuts.
Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.
The big round of clap today goes to.....Matt! Thanks for the headlines Matt, they making writing bylines a breeze.
As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin