Ten Ton Hammer Features, Guides, and more

  • One of the toughest instances WoW has to offer... hammered.

    Today brings the next section of our Onyxia guide to World of Warcraft @ TenTonHammer. Todays section is all about how to become attuned to the Onyxia instance as an Alliance player.

    If you have not completed this long quest chain (and are level 60) you now have no excuse, all the details are available for Horde and Alliance here: TenTonHammers Guide to Onyxia.

    Coming next week will be complete details on defeating Onyxia, so check back soon!

    Wed, Feb 15, 2006
  • In our first Tit for Tat, Shayalyn and Ethec debate why men play female avatars in games. What is Tit for Tat you ask? Well it's a debate between our staffers. Or you could call it a debate between the sexes. You'll get a female and a male opinion in every article in this series.

    In my EverQuest guild there was a beautiful high elf cleric named Insite. She was a kind, generous soul; always willing to lend a resurrection when a guild member met an untimely death. She also had a razor sharp wit, and a way with obscure references. We all loved her. Dwarves frequently humped her leg, but she was as cold as stone toward their advances, or any other man’s advances, for that matter.

    But I knew a secret about Insite that few others did--the person playing her was named Richard. (You have to take the common nickname for Richard and apply it here to fully grasp the irony.) Richard was a roleplayer, and a damn good one. He was also responsible. He didn’t respond to flirting, and he never led anyone to believe he was a woman in real life; he simply stepped into the role of a lady cleric each time he logged her on, and let his true gender remain a mystery to most.

    Read More Here!

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
  • Our take on the EverQuest 2 server merges

    Dramatic news has rippled across the EverQuest 2 playerbase. Like a kid smacking together 2 different colors of play-do, many of the lower population servers are being merged together. How will it pan out? Nobody is sure but it affects the psychology and morale of the players. Savanja takes a look at the merge and what it means:

    The benefits that I can see from this radical decision seem obvious to me, and I gather these points were on the minds of the EQ2 “Gods” when they were contemplating the shake up of the entire playerbase. I’m certain that this was not an easy decision for the developers to come to, as they had to have known that people would generally freak out at this kind of news. And quite honestly, nothing is scarier than a angry gamer.

    Read more about the merges at EQ2 @ TenTonHammer.

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
  • MMO Marriage Memories

    Staff writer Merriandra shares the story of her in-game marriage to her husband in EverQuest. They'd met and married in real life before diving into the game, and Merri went on to marry many other couples as a guide.

    "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together…" It would have appeared to be an ordinary wedding, but for the twelve foot tall skeletons towering over a giant chess board in the background, behind the wide, manicured lawn where our guests were arrayed. Typical of the Butcherblock Mountains, it was a warm, sunny afternoon. If you could ignore the occasional spider or basilisk, it was an ideal location.

    Head over to Vanguard - TenTonHammer to read this engaging take on marriage in MMOs.

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
  • Wondering how to get into the Auto Assault beta?
    Xerin has you covered! We bring you the first in a new series of newbie guides designed to get you into the game. Our first guide in this new series goes over how to get into, install, and start playing the Auto Assault beta. From start to finish we guide you through this process. Be on the look out for more guides designed to help you get started with Auto Assault.

    The first step to playing the beta is actually getting into the beta. This isn’t as hard of a process as you think. There are two ways to get into the beta. One is a “lottery” type situation where you sign up on PlayNC and hope your name is drawn out of a hat. The other is to pre-order the game, which puts you in line for priority beta access.

    Check it out on the Auto Assault @ TenTonHammer site .

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
  • Enter the Mesmer

    Samyel, on the Guild Wars - TenTonHammer community site, has just finished polishing up the Elementalist skills, so everything should be tickity-boo and trustworthy in their skill lists. This week we began work on the Mesmer lists, kicking off with the general and Fast Casting skills. Onwards and upwards, we're making progress!

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
  • By: Phil "Ralphedelominius" Comeau
    There is no cause for alarm! Loading... will return. In its place, today, I give you... WTF? It's like all the nutritional content of Loading... with half the funny!
    Just pretend I'm a substitute teacher for Ten Ton Hammer home-room. No, this will not be on the test.
    It's here! The day I love to hate - Valentine's Day. Everywhere across the globe, women are gushing, men are cringing and greeting card executives are cackling with glee. Who says I have to shell out annually for a box of chocolates in a tacky heart-shaped box, accompanied by a flimsy bit of card with trite, sappy poetry in neat typeface inside? Bah, humbug! Oh, wait, wrong commercialized holiday...
    Wikipedia says that St Valentine's Day is named for a Roman priest beheaded in the 3rd century, or a bishop of Terni who was also, oddly enough, beheaded in the 3rd century (though in a different location), or another priest in North Africa who may or may not have secretly married couples against the rules, and may or may not have been beheaded. WTF? Where's the romance link in there? Unless you're an abused altar boy, you probably don't get much of a warm-and-fuzzy feeling when you think about cutting off a priest's head with an axe.
    Or maybe you do.
    Card, schmard! I'm giving my missus her very own World of Warcraft account! We can walk hand in virtual hand down the shore across from the Echo Isles, watch the sun set in real time into the desert sands and enjoy a picnic of Cactus Apple Surprise and Refreshing Spring Water. Hmmmm. Perhap World of Warcraft has more in common with Valentine's Day than at first blush - she *can* cut off my priest's head with an axe if we get into a dueling mood! It's all in the spirit of the holiday, of course. It's brilliant! "I love you dearest... now, prepare to have your face melted! Pwned! one11eleventybillion! Now, how 'bout some somethin'-somethin'... [MrsRalph has gone offline]... Dammit."
    So, no card this year, no candlelit dinner - I'm giving her a Level 1 Troll Hunter!
    Am I in trouble? Bah, what do you know... Yeah, Boomjack will be back soon, why do you ask?
    Comments? Flames? Sappy Valentines? Let me have it!

    Game Movie: Stab It Out

    Vin Diesel Fact of the Day: Vin Diesel can crash a World of Warcraft server just by logging in to play. I'm guessing Vin logs into every server each Monday evening.

    Here's what's new on the network!

    • Online Weddings: 'For Love is a many Splendored Thing'
      Online Weddings - we've all heard of them. Have you ever seen one in person, though? Perhaps not? Well, Merriandra over at Ten Ton Hammer Vanguard has! She has the rare experience of both participating in her own and officiating at other online weddings in her days as a Guide in EQLive.
    • AA - A Guide to Getting Started in Beta
      Are you lost and confused, all alone on St Valentine's Day? Perhaps the idea of vehicular carnage appeals to you as a way to improve your spirits? Yes? Yeah, it works for me, too! Xerin and his crew at Ten Ton Hammer Auto Assault have compiled just the guide for you, giving up the scoop on the how-to for entry into the Auto Assault Beta, currently ongoing.
    • DDO - Awen Interviews Samantha Russell
      Samantha Russell is the community manager for European DUNGEONS & DRAGONS ONLINE™: Stormreach™. She was kind enough to answer a few questions for me about not only her preferences in DDO, but also about Codemasters in general.


    • Dungeons and Dragons: Romance and Dragons

      "Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and in lieu of chocolates in a heart-shaped box, Ralsu gives us a look at love and romance in online gaming. How will those of us lookin' for love fare in Dungeons & Dragons Online (DDO)? Put down that trashy romance novel and prepare yourself by reading our editorial."
    • Dungeons and Dragons: Quest Journal #5 - The Missing Ward

      "Aloyce, Ralsu, and Shayalyn battle undead in an attempt to rescue a missing woman from the clutches of a necromancer. Follow the party on a new adventure filled with monsters, magic, and intrigue. Our quest journals will provide clues to the adventures that await in Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach when it launches on February 28."
    • Guild Wars: Love Is In The Air

      "Valentine's Day is almost here, but is it a time for romance or a time for commercialization?"
    • Lord of the Rings Online: Love, Middle-Earth Style

      "Okay, so Tolkien lore isn't exactly rife with romance, but Aragorn loved Arwen and Samwise loved Rosie and hey, perhaps love will be in the air some day in Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar (LOTRO). Shayalyn takes a look at love in online games, and the heightened potential for relationships in LOTRO. She also shares a bit of her personal history when it comes to romance and online games. (Oh, the scandal!)"
    • Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Candy Hearts and Pretty Flowers

      "Candy hearts and pretty flowers are the common thoughts this time of year. Aunraye joins the other writer's across the network as we look at love in MMOs. She reminds us that not all love is romantic. What does she mean? Check it out!"
    • EverQuest 2: Is Love In The Virtual Air?

      "Valentine's Day!  The day dedicated to showing our loved ones, how much we care for them.  And while we buy cards and candy for that special someone, don't forget to throw a little love at the friends that bring life to our virtual worlds.  Savanja shares her take on the most important love in-game."
    • Where's the Love? Relationships in MMORPGs.

      "Looking for love in your favorite MMOG? No, I'm not talking about Valentine's Day-themed quests or creepy cyber encounters. I mean the cutesy-wootsy, "long walks along the pixellated beach" relationship kind of love. Ethec has a few words of advice for those lonely hearts aching for that special someone with just the right... faction alignments."
    • Auto Assault: Love In The Wastelands

      "This week's common content feature is all about love. How does Valentine's Day affect Auto Assault? Well luckily for us, NetDevil has the Valentine's Day Massacre. This event is an extended beta period for everyone with a pre-order. This opens up the possibility of convincing that special someone that Auto Assault is the perfect hobby to share. That is of course, you don't approach them about it the wrong way!"
    • Auto Assault: Agent and Constructor Skill Listing

      "Want to know what makes Agents stealthy and Constructors healthy? Well then check out our new skill lists for both the Agent and Constructor classes. Agents are the Biomek's "rogue" class.

      Attacking from stealth and clearing all of the enemies in their path, they are a force to reckon with. The Constructor class is the "healing" class. Don't let that fool you though! They pack quite the punch."
    • World of Warcraft: Guide to Onyxia - Horde Attunement

      "Today brings the first section of our Onyxia guide here at TenTonHammer. This first section is all about how to become attuned to the Onyxia instance so that you can enter. This portion is for Horde players. The Alliance guide will follow later this week, so check back soon!"
    • World of Warcraft: Shields Make Good Surfboards

      "Shields Make Good Surfboards: An End Game Warrior Discussion"
    • Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Defensive Fighters

      "Martuk starts his four part series that will look at the standard roles of the classes in MMOs. This week he looks at the Defensive Fighter. Not only does he look at the traditional, but talks about what may be needed in Vanguard: Saga of Heroes once it launches some time this year."
    • World of Warcraft: Battlegate

      "Ten Ton Hammer recently started a guild on the new Sen'jin server. I've been
      playing World of Warcraft on and off for the year that it's been live. In all of
      that time I've never entered a BG or willingly PVP'd. That all changed this
      weekend when the new crew convinced me that it was fun. They were right! It
      was an exhilarating experience of non stop action. At first I spent a lot of time running around in circles in a panic and then after the second time I found myself in the groove."
    • Everquest 2: Crafting With the Carpenters

      "If you just imagined a guy dancing in baggy pants and yelled "Stop!" then you went to a dark, dark place like I did. This time we are talking about a real hammer...well ok a virtual hammer. Just get that song out of my head! TenTonHammer sat down with master Carpenter Adeste and discusses how this class is percieved and what could be improved."
    • EverQuest 2: Guide to Mystics

      "With wards to protect from damage, and heals to rejuvenate health, this class is a powerful type of priest. Slide takes the mystery out of the new Mystic spells with an updated list and spell progression table."
    • Auto Assault: Top 10 Reasons To Pre-order Auto Assault

      "With Devrek in the loony bin, what will we do? Have me sub in for him! I'm nowhere near as funny as Devrek, since that is his job and all to be funny, but I'll do in a pinch! This week we bring you a humerous look at the top 10 reasons you should pre-order Auto Assault.
      Of course this is just a humorous look at it. Why would you need 10 reasons to go pre-order Auto Assault?"

    Now for some real-world WTF?, right in your face!

    As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com!
    -- Phil "Ralphedelominius" Comeau

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
  • There's a new producer letter up for Star Wars Galaxies.

    Going forward, our overall goal this year is to continue to improve our game by focusing on adding content that offers players the best interactive entertainment experience available online today. We are lucky as we already have the greatest entertainment brand to build content around – Star Wars .

    Mmhmm that was all well and good before they changed the game. Now it's just like any other EQ clone. *big sigh*

    You can read the rest of the letter Here

    More News and Info on Star Wars Galaxies.

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
  • Forget the chocolates they make you fat. Forget the Flowers they wilt
    all too soon.  If you're pounding your head on your desk trying to
    find something for that special someone, look no further. Awen has the
    hook up for you.  I'm taking care of you this year with some great
    ideas to give that special gaming someone for this Holiest *snort* of

    1. Gold or Platinum in any form is always a good gift. Pony up with
      some cold hard cash.
    2. Jewelry - Stat Jewelry is always needed. Give me a +agi ring any
      day and I'd be more than willing to be your Valentine
    3. Who needs Lingerie when you can give a rare breastplate or
      leggings?  They always say use protection so get out there and
      protect your loved ones with Armor!
    4. Spend some time with your special someone! Help them complete
      that quest that has been dodging them for the last month.  Just
      remember to sacrifice yourself when it looks like they might take a
      dirt nap.
    5. Love Potion #9? You don't need it here my friends. A stack of
      health potions is just as good and they come in that sexy color red.
      Who wouldn't love you for that gift?

    It doesn't have to be hard this time of year to find something good to
    gift. If you don't have a Valentine of your own, steal someone
    else's.  It was perfectly acceptable in the middle ages to steal
    your brides / grooms.   Drag them by the hair to the local
    Priest / Friar and get yourself hitched.  Trust me, they'll
    appreciate it.

    If you've lost that loving feeling, be sure to browse the network. We
    have what you're looking for to put you in the moooOooood.

    Until next time - Awen Out!

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
  • Online Weddings - we've all heard of them. Have you ever seen one in person, though? Perhaps not? Well, Merriandra over at Ten Ton Hammer Vanguard has! She has the rare experience of both participating in her own and officiating at other online weddings in her days as a Guide in EQLive:

    Over the next two years, I stood on top of an aviak tower, in Felwithe, inside Kedge Keep, in the middle of Lake Rathe, in the Arena, in the Plane of Hate, in the Plane of Air, on the bridge between the Karanas (the bride kept zoning) and in Highkeep to perform wedding ceremonies. Perhaps two thirds of the couples chose an approach that more closely resembled "till levels do us part", rather than "tell death do us part." One beautiful, formal, and very serious wedding was held in Felwithe, and everything was perfect, until one of a groomsman cast a hostile spell on a guard (by accident!), a slip of the finger that wiped out the entire wedding party. The poor bride was in tears.

    More Vanguard: SoH News

    Ten Ton Hammer Vanguard

    Tue, Feb 14, 2006
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